Daemoons Dream Journal

[guest587]

chaotic energy, multiple dreams, cool dream of being a hawk, a daughter is in my future?

lots of dreams... very scattered- busy bodied environments.

in one dream i am meeting ingrid online but i have a computer virus, there's a program that installed itself on my computer- whenever i turn the computer on a little pop up box with a monkey keeps opening- when you try to close it, two or three more open in its place. if you just leave it, more appear on their own. i learn i am going to be without a computer for a while until i can fix it. i don't feel too worried about it, and know there's a way to turn the computer on and go into some kind of safe mode and possibly a way to restore the software to its default settings which might correct the issue.

in another dream i'm sleeping in the hallway floor by the front door to our house with a few people. there's two people standing on the other side of the door, they ring the doorbell but i am still sleepy and pretend i am asleep. they're standing there for a good 15-20 minutes before i, "wake up" and act surprised to see people standing there.

in another dream, probably the coolest of them all- i am a golden hawk soaring in a snowy storm. the feeling is majestic. i am this hawk and i am flying through a blizzard- until i get out of it and am now just soaring in a snowy mountainous region. i descend with my wings and flap some life into these beetles on the floor- i decide to leave them be, a couple of my feathers land on them and create motion. the beetles, if i remember, are brown and black and blend in with the dirt.

in yet another dream i am in a busy car dealership trying to sell two people a car. one person has no credit and their dad is military police. when i ask for contact info he just tells me to put, "MP" and the other person is jeff my old finance manager. the kid with no credit thinks he'll just keep giving the lenders large sums of money every other day and it'll be ok. i know it doesn't work like that but i try to humor him anyway. i go into the sales office and find my old HS crush lauren is the sales manager. she's being really nasty and has these women catering to her every whim- she's playing a video game while she has a line of sales people waiting for her to pencil their deals. before i go to see her i remember walking the lot and looking at a few of the cars- one is a new, white audi and it has these really magnificent screens all through out the dashboard. i needed to get their stock number so red head lauren can pencil my deals. as i'm waiting in the crammed office, jeff the finance manager appears. i jokingly pick on him to pick a stock number and tell him we're going to get him a car. lauren looks at me and looks at the papers ive set down on her desk. i explain to her the situation between the two potential buyers but as i'm doing so i begin to question why i'm even here. i don't want to be doing any of this. so, in the middle of the chaotic energy and crammed office space- i get up and leave. no explanation. i'm done here.

in the last dream that i can recall... i am again in a crowded environment, at something like a mall. i'm hungry and my friend is supposed to meet me. i'm inside a mcdonalds and the workers are extremely busy. one woman employee picks up some food that was promptly returned to the front, and throws it at another employee. she was showing him that this guy burnt some food(again) and was losing her patience. a young male comes up to me and ask what i want, i'm a bit in a daze wondering about my dream from prior and how i got here. i look at him and tell him i want some breakfast, but he says they no longer serve breakfast. so i leave this place remembering there's an i-hop next door. it isn't a typical sit down restaurant styled i-hop but more like a food court in a mall. there's two elderly black women. they are really sweet. and there's no lines. i am really enjoying the pause in the chaotic energy. the one woman gives me a small plate and says, "this is for eggs." so i tell her i'll take some eggs. she rings me in thinking thats all- but then i tell her i want some blackberry jam and blueberry pancakes. she thinks thats all but then looks at me and we all laugh because i ask her if i can get some bacon to go with it. she ask me, "is that all" in a joking manner. i tell them i was really hungry and the other black lady who wasn't ringing me up tells me- "you're alright, and you're going to have a daughter really soon."

my friend calls me asking where i'm at- i'm in my car ready to eat my food... i'm talking loudly into the phone because i'm back in a chaotic environment. he thinks he is being funny by talking loudly back mimicking me. i don't have the patience, i tell him "cool" and hang up on him. he eventually finds me and sees im eating all this breakfast. i tell him i was "hangry"- he apologizes realizing he was being a bit of an antagonist and not understanding just how busy bodied the environment was until he arrived. 

i woke up multiple times through out the night but decided to record after the 4th dream. there was more but that's all i can seem to remember.

[guest587]

nine tailed beast, arabic man named lilith

hard to recall. the spot in my back still hurts, it was difficult to sleep- im like a old man covered in aches and sores lol. i kept waking up through out the night. i do remember one portion of the dream, in the beginning- going up and down an elevator chute, and having tremendous power. by the end of it i was roaming freely and fiercely, able to transform into a nine tailed beast.

later i had a hypnagogic experience. what is strange about this is that it feels like its the second night to have been visited by this person, except i did not record it yesterday. so either i did not remember, or this familiar feeling is a part of the experience- where i think its the second time but its the first.

i am visited by an arabic man named lilith. he is writing to me, arabic script- but it is translated as it is narrated to me. i cant remember everything- just that i was called sweet eric and some reference to my job.

[guest587]

american ninja warrior, heart portals, other side?

dog duty.
as soon as i woke up, i threw myself out of bed to take care of the dogs.

trying to recall now...

i remember, an american ninja warrior style competition. it feels like everything i'm recalling is from the eyes of observational awareness... like i am somehow associated to the characters, but i am not viewing through the eyes of the characters. the more i think about it, the more i think this is how i dreamt last night.

there are two competitors, one is a younger asian man- and one is an overly swol tom cruise look alike. who, "i am" might be more related to the older competitor. although the obstacle is difficult for both challengers, the younger man is able to finish faster. but he doesn't win, he moved so fast- and in his over-eagerness fell into a trap near the last segment of the obstacle. whereas the older man, struggling, but able to complete the course- wins.

i am now at the top of this platform, holding a tv styled interview as the contestant winner with spokespeople down below. i can't really hear them, but i understand one of the commentators feels i won unfairly, or to say, that the younger competitor was clearly the more able-bodied winner. there are a few others with me in this, "collective awareness" like we're sitting together as energy who clearly disagree with the commentator. it's so obvious who won and who didn't that this guys remarks are seen as ludicrous.

suddenly... a different scene.

again i am viewing everything through an observational lens... but i feel an association with a few of the characters. the main character and the side characters. here, there is a group of young men being chased through out something like a museum. they are looking for an ancient relic. but this piece is not so easily found and the pressure from the chase is building up. there's a voice of an elder male coming through the aether, instructing the young man(the main character) that he does not need to find anything- that he can create what he's looking for. to feel it.

i feel it. in my chest, i am producing something from my heart- and the time/space field around me begins to distort... i place my hand out and a golden white wavering circle begins to form, no bigger than the size of my palm. there are occasional black specks flickering within this portal.

the young man, and his peers, are shocked and amazed. even though this is a very small circle, the energy is suggesting that he and his fellows dive into the portal to safety. not sure how they do this, or how they fit... but they go through the portal.

on the other side,

the feeling is celebratory. the young man created a, "heart piece" and there is an elder woman recommending different factions and what benefits they come with for him to choose. the young man does not pick any of the recommendations, but chooses one that involves more physicality and struggle.
on this side, the feeling is hazy... losing recall...

only that there are groups of people, the colours are shades of dark blue, light grays- these are shadows of people thronged about. a clamoring ambience...

i can't remember much more at this time.

[guest587]

scattered dreams and then... a rainbow serpent light around yogananda


the dream actually seems to be about my sister... we're sharing a space, and i notice she's put a few pieces of artwork up on the bathroom walls.

in another scene i am downstairs in the livingroom and she has a girlfriend over. they are making some kind of lasagna. this is to be her future roommate. she invites her friend into the livingroom and i'm asked to sit up. i offer her a spot on the couch, she is interested in what i'm doing. i'm just playing a puzzle game on the TV. i look at this girl and think she is really young. i ask her how old she is, she tells me she is 16. she is super young. but she is trying really hard to be older. she is wearing a short skirt and talking like she's an adult. she is also showing an interest in me.


another dream in the house and we're having to pick the male dog up because his hind legs aren't the best. it concerns people and there is a little commotion trying to move him and keep him still, trying to keep him calm as we lift him(70 lbs dalmatian) off the ground.
----

a random dream... i am remembering my old HS friend and crush Shelby. I'm in a car and it's drizzling outside... She pokes her head towards me from outside the car and we start kissing on the lips. They are soft, succulent kisses. I remember feeling a lot of emotion behind her kisses.  I don't want to stop.

......
And the coolest thing I dreamt of all night!
I am in the car, my Aunt is there- my Pappy(Grandpa) is in the back seat with me. My Dad and Sister are in the car too. My Aunt is telling a story, and surprisingly- my Pappy(who can't talk IRL) is talking perfectly fine. He tells us he had a rare experience with photos, my Aunt doesn't believe him- my Pappy says he brought the proof because he knew she'd doubt him. My Aunt says, "more photos! here we go"

And he pulls out these pictures that none of us have seen before. They are colorful. More colorful than the dreams themselves. I see a man in robes atop something like a mountain doing some kind of movement similar to tai chi. It isn't tai chi, but he's got his arms spread wide apart. But the FIRST thing I notice is the brilliant rainbow serpent aura moving around his body in a crescent shape. At first I thought the robes were white and I asked aloud, "Is that Gurunath?" But my Pappy shows me the picture and it's Yogananda. Once I realize it's Yogananda I see him in his typical orange robes and I shout, "That's Yogananda" in excitement!

We look at the picture behind it, and it's Anandamayi Ma! My Sister however, is more excited by the woman saint next to Anandamayi Ma. April calls her Sri Ma but I explain Sri Ma is Anandamayi Ma. She is trying to explain to me that the woman next to her is different and the one she is really drawn to. I look at the photo and Anandamayi Ma is standing next to another woman saint who looks young and more rebellious. My Sister is attracted to the, "strong and independent woman" attitude.

I am feeling so much intrigue and joy from these photos when suddenly, my Sisters alarm goes off right at 7AM and she runs down the stairs with her laptop in her hands of people screaming. She is watching one of her drama shows.

That's as deep as I get to go. Wake up...

[guest587]

i am out in the country, somewhere northwest.  the setting is winter. some scenes involve snow/rain.

first i am practicing my tackling, a relative is instructing me over the phone. i am usually an offensive player, but am learning how to be a better defensive tackler. he helps me by telling me to go lower when tackling another. this slight adjustment makes for a great success.

there is also a dream with a woman, but i can't remember it at all. i think we were dating... strange that i can kind of see the dream, but cant relay it here. it feels more like a type of business exchange in our being together. but there is a level of romance that is hard to explain.

later i am given back the motorcycle i was forced to sell. it is a happy reunion. i am worried i forgot how to operate it because it's been so long. but once i hop on it i remember everything. this is a really good feeling. the motorcycle is becoming a classic, or vintage.

now the bulk of dreaming that i can remember...

we shoot and kill a brown buffalo. it's snowy outside. we lay the carcass in the snow until we can get it processed. a passerby notices and asked if we just killed the buffalo? we say yes. i can't see who i'm with but the feeling is family. the man picks up the head of the buffalo and tries to imitate the noise it would make. he thinks its funny but i distinctly remember kind of chuckling and then realizing there were two more brown buffalo nearby mourning the loss of their friend. i told him, "oh shit- there's more buffalo behind you" and imply that he needs to stop and show some respect.

between this scene and the pickup truck that comes to take the carcass of the buffalo we had killed, i am walking to a farm where there is a pen full of black with a small patch of white on the top buffalo. i open the pen, they are all crammed resting and i gently instruct one of the girls to come out. these buffalo are domesticated compared to the one shot and killed. she is so lovely, no resistance from her whatsoever. i am walking her with me towards a home... on our walk she is showing me so much love and affection. i really start to develop a deep sympathy for her. i call her sally. sally is my new friend.

more on the pickup truck... the buffalo that was killed was loaded onto the back of the truck and taken to a processing center. they were going to make jerky. i remember taking a bite of this meat and it being really gamy. i was offended by the flavor but did not want to waste any of it.

now sally has arrived to the house with me and the family at the table is eating the buffalo we had killed. sally offers two pieces of her ribs to us. i am appalled. i tell her not to offer anything. but she insist. she gives us two strips of her flesh to eat. i took a bite and the flavor is so much better than the wild one. but, i feel completely awful in having eaten the flesh. i am really sad and am crying internally and hugging sally. i tell her and say aloud in the dream, "never again."

wake up.

[Jitendra Hydonus]

There was a time we may have lived like this. But so much has changed between now and then. Although it has a bittersweet feeling we hopefully will never live through this again. ( above dream ).

[guest587]

Hi Steve.

Doing some digging... And I think this dream is showing me a level of sacrifice that I'm not quite familiar with.

I'm talking about the dreaming of the buffalo.

I read that dreaming of buffalo has to do with a visit from ones ancestors. And in the dream I felt a certain respect was owed to the slaid corpse. It was to be our sustenance after all. I also saw regret in my actions, and I think the buffalo- as a spirit guide, was blessing me with forgiveness.

[guest587]

i'm scoping out a future living space. i am forced to apply to this community building built within what seems to be a mall or some kind of high trafficked inner-city. the reason has to do with my income. i can only afford to pay $385 a month towards rent. when i tell the woman this, and that i am not financially independent, she says i qualify and am allowed to apply. she gets up to show me an example room. it's very small, and the toilet is next to the kitchen, and the bed is next to the toilet. everything is lined up next to each other. it is highly discouraging. i will likely not live somewhere where the toilet is in between the kitchen and bedroom. suddenly it starts flooding inside the model room. i ask her about that and apparently everything with this place is in need of repair. not only that but the designers were super lazy.

even though i'm deciding not to live here i seem to be hanging out, energetically speaking, around this area. i am viewing multiple rooms, the leasing agents interaction with one another, and the area outside the building. i am kind of sifting around as formless awareness. sometimes a body, sometimes not. at one point i'm back in another room where someone seems to be living. i occupy their body to get a feel for everything. i recognize the bed is entirely too small for me. and there seems to be no backyard. i instruct the body i'm occupying to show me the outside. he opens up a small window and there's a flooded pool outside. it's raining and there are palm tree's. at least there are some tree's. the pool is not manmade it's just the consequence of all the flooding. i look up and realize these units are all stacked on each other. vertical housing. at the very top there seems to be a community rest area that allows you to peer outside. again, none of it is appealing. it feels like a modern prison.

i am back with the leasing agents who are about to host a party. they need someone else to be there and to pretend to be this indian man. i decide to play along, and they have me wear these robes. there's all kinds of food being offered and i'm reminded the man i'm pretending to be is vegetarian. i ask them why they would present meat if we are vegetarian. either way, i stick to the non-meat options as myself and a small group of people are circling around a main table and discussing who knows what. the color of the robes are beige and black.

somewhere in between dream scenes i see arizona and feel like i really want to live there. i hear the mayor of some major city talk and she seems to be a proud conservative boasting about her gun laws. i get this feeling that i don't want to live in the city but i see these mountains among a beautiful orange, setting sun. i feel this completely safe feeling and have a desire to live here. this desire tells me everything will make sense and allow me to come into my own.

suddenly i am moving along a countryside where me and another fellow watch this beautiful horse trot by. it's a majestic young horse with some kind of custom leather helmet on his head. the color of the horse is black with creamy greys and whites. the fellow i'm with comments on its helmet(it because we weren't sure at first if guy or girl. i believe young male but the other man thinks at first it might be a female) and i explain to him the horse belongs to this lady who also has hippos and she uses the hides from her hippos to craft custom protective gear for the horses heads. we go to her barn to learn more.

there is a scene where i am inside the barn in a cramped space with others, all on our backs- one of the hippos comes up and turns into a giant black pig. i ask the woman if its ok that he's coming right up to me like this- and she assures me that he will not use his massive weight to crush me. i pet him like a dog and he is extremely happy and rest a bit of his weight against me, but he doesn't pin me down and he makes a conscious effort not to apply all his body weight on me.

i'm transitioning into a wakeful state and there are two scenes happening at once. in one i am a young man, not my self at all, instructed to shoot my father in the head. he is not my actual father. i have no clue who this man is. my personality is the same, but i am none of these characters. i take no qualm holding up this rifle and looking down the scope and shooting at this bald man in the distance. i lead my shot, its perfect. the gun goes off, it makes the noise, there's a kickback- only, nothing happens. the man in the distance keeps walking, doesn't even look up. never noticed. did i miss? i take aim and look at the bald headed man once more. now i'm just watching. wondering about him. i take another shot when he's sitting still. again, nothing happens. no one notices. i wonder if i missed again? now i'm just completely observing this man through a scope, the crosshairs are perfectly on him- but i decide not to shoot. i am just observing...

in another scene i am back in a barn with a bunch of people. the dream focuses on this girl. again we are all on our backs laying side by side in a cramped space against the earth. the girl has a boyfriend next to her. the scene focuses on the fact that her genitals are exposed, and the boyfriend is prodding her near the top of her genitalia. suddenly two or three more penises come into view and are all prodding her vagina. like a slow moving camera the view pans down and i realize i am the only one actually inside her vagina- not even her boyfriend. there isn't much thought or emotion here, that i can tell. like- why are all these penises up against her? none of that crosses my mind. instead the focus is on the girls pleasure, and her breathing. its labored and theres a weird ambience of pink happening in the atmosphere. she is in a form of ecstasy. i am the only one actually inside her, and the scene seems to focus on this with her body motion and her breathing. wake up.

[guest587]

i remember an old co-worker, jason, handing out extremely large steaks. they were like 18-20oz steaks. i was actually disgusted by the size and the quality of the meat. it was all we had to eat, i did not want to eat- i took a few bites then returned the food to jason. he and a few others seemed displeased that i would not eat the food they were offering. i tried, but at least jason seemed cordial about it.

i remember my friend matt, with me in the backyard. we were shooting a bow and arrow at a dummy tied to a post. at first we were messing around, trying to shoot over our heads, backwards. then we decided to take aim and focus. matts shot was arched but it went precisely into the dummies mouth. i tried to recreate matts shot except mine did not arch. it was straight and much faster. it went through the lips and the tip of the arrow came out the back of its neck.

this symbolism with the throat seems relevant to communication.

there was another weird symbol, i discover an android hiding in a shell of a human. once exposed the android is actually a white gooey substance, laying on the floor. he cant move without his host body, the feeling here is like i am looking at the sticky habits of my self. the desire is to remove this crap from my being.

lastly i am visiting brian, or he is visiting me. he sparks rage in me and both of our energy levels are rising to the point of violent outburst. there's a desire to fight, but i remove myself from the dreamscape entirely. i realize though my heart holds some care for him, i don't want to be around him.

wake up.

[guest587]

there's a baby crawling super fast chasing a cat. this baby is rather intelligent, has powers but seems to lack empathy. i try to catch the baby and stop him from chasing the cat by explaining to him that he is better off trying to lure the cat to him instead of constantly chasing something that is outrunning him. i suggest he set a trap, explaining he'll need something enticing to intrigue his prey. he is able to capture a rather large black rat, he mortally wounds the rat so its bleeding thinking that would entice the cat.

some dreams happen in between here like flashes. like i am at a carnival. there are a few people on a ride that would have otherwise made me sick if i joined them. the feeling is like i'm a flying serpent slithering up and down in the sky and going between worlds.

i come back to see this rat is barley breathing and laying there. its life was wasted and i feel awful. the baby is no where to be found. i realize i have to end its suffering, i take an axe and feel responsible chopping its head off.

i am missing some really important data here. at least, that's how it feels. the in between world sensations also feels like i have a God for a father, i am not his only child- there are many of us. i am one in a group near some powerful ocean. the ocean and the skies are dark and there are massive waves. massive tunneling waves. i remember large structures being swept away by the waves.

the energy and the emotions are surreal sky and water. the feeling of flying through the sky and the feeling of controlling massive ocean.

the last thing i seem to remember before waking up is rescuing multiple people in the sky who are needing help descending in the desired location. it is kind of like a hot air balloon- i am able to somehow redirect their craft with my hands and help them land safely to the desired spot, otherwise they'd go off in the wrong direction and spiral down too fast and crash and die.
i am repeating this action with a few people scattered about in the sky until, wake up...
Live each moment in wonder, as if God is standing there. He's always before you, in every thing and every moment. Truly th

[guest587]

here's one i can remember, despite having multiple dreams.

i am speaking to an emperor about inflation and the collapse of the economy. i am asking him questions, like what is still considered valuable when the economy crashes. i ask him about earth minerals. he says of course things like gold and silver. there's a point in this conversation where i'm coming to some realization and kind of imploring/negotiating with the emperor that we have a chance to re-define value in society as the economy crashes. he is in agreement with me, and i am asking him to start doing the work. i think... ?

that or, maybe, i feel he is saying if we do this we will still be rich as the economy crashes.

[guest587]

it's 3:20AM as i decide to write this. i woke up thinking it was more like, after 5. i had a hypnagogic experience at some point. i'm not sure when, because i also had the usual dream experience before and after.

i started to notice the sensation of zeroing in and expanding out blanket my body, synchronizing with my breath. i started singing a most beautiful mantra in my head. i didn't even know i could sing it in this manner. and the voice was so good, i am not sure if it was me. the voice in my mind started taking over everything. it felt as if it were actually being sung aloud.

ommm
lokahhhh samastah sukihno bhavantuuu ommmm
lokah samasta sukihno bhavantuuu
lokah samasta sukihno bavantu

as i was singing my awareness started to deepen and expand. and although i am typing in a linear fashion, from beginning to end- there was an added element to the experience. there was both a linear and nonlinear experience, there was this ability to perceive each thought, sensation and imagery like a stream. maybe, multiple timelines- multiple streams. as if i could dive in to any particular one while simultaneously having the awareness that these ideas, life, thought forms exist in their entirety in the present. typing it out will only serve justice for the linear portion of the experience. but i tried...

each note of the mantra was a striking effect upon my consciousness. this deepening came with an ever blossoming, ever increasing point of light. each note synchronizing with the deepening of my breath. the point of light was blossoming directly form the third eye area. i believe it started off as a kind of pale gold and white light. and as i was singing this mantra and in a most unique but beautiful way, suddenly a firm note ignited the light- the light took over my entire vision and flooded my body. it at that point was more white and pale pink.  then transitioned back to white/gold. it covered everything, even though i can feel it as if it were longer in duration, it all happened in an instant.

i never stop singing this mantra, but now my awareness has shifted from the hypnagogic experience and the singing to become aware of my father in the room next door. my mother as well, and my sister. i don't spend much time here. i just know they are here.

at the same time, i am in conversation with- someone. myself maybe. i am taking all these recent conversations i've had with friends online about ascension and thinking on my friend Steve.
i tell my self i think I would like to know what it means to experience this 5D Geoff is talking about. as if negotiating with my self, and a remembered part of Geoffs words, i say something like I have to move past 4D. I believe I am allowed so, and everything I've written up to this point implies it has happened(within this hypnagogic experience).

now i am experiencing the dream state, but as these streams. when i first tried typing this out, everything was erased. this is my second attempt to re-write and now my memory is fading. i am losing whatever dreams i just had. but, what i've tried typing about the linear and nonlinear reality was captured as best as i could retain. i could feel what i was seeing and it was as if each idea and impression exist in my peripherals yet the feeling was also as if i were going directly down these streams. They were both independent and whole. somewhere here i started to lose awareness of this space i was holding and got lost within a particular dream/stream before waking up. i believe that dream had robin williams in it, and was a continuation of this desire to experience additional dimensions. only, i was no longer at the energetic capacity to retain the information in the same manner. now i am dreaming in distinct linear, and linear only, fashion. still, the dream is quite adventurous and all the characters must be my self trying to communicate this desire to me played out in the dream.

it's a bit frustrating i can not remember anymore but i am happy i was able to capture some information and present it here. the experience was beautiful- even this negotiating/conversation with whomever/self was so real and surreal. the level of clarity in the moment was liberating. the experience was crisp, and everything was experienced in folds yet wholly linear as well.

well, i work today and ought to go back to sleep. it's nearing 4AM. i didn't want to just let this experience go. i am grateful for whoever/whatever would allow me this opportunity...

[guest587]

i didn't share yesterdays dream but i had a visitor. it was an unpleasant one in that there was a lot of fear inside me. yesterday the dream felt so real-
well tonight (it's 2:25am) i woke up to a similar vibration and so i'm going to share both dreams. not all- just the parts that seem connected..

yesterdays:

a visitor, Strong hypnagogia

I wake up from a dream,

In the dream- I am at home with my Mom. It's just her and I in the house(which is true to life on this night). I am downstairs and realize there's a shadowy presence up against the glass door at the front of my house. He's peering in. I feel a strong rush of fear as he's trying to come inside the house. I slam my hand against the glass, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO" is what I yell really loudly, which causes the presence to run off and disappear. My mom asked who was it, I tell her- "some kid!" I wake up.

I think the shadowy presence was a visitor, even if a child, from a different world. (It could be this world, but a world I am not used to).

For the life of me I can't fall back asleep. I believe this might be in part because I had green tea around 4PM. I am both sensitive and addicted to caffeine and am starting to feel a shift in my attitude towards it.

Anyways... I finally am able to sleep but I am too scared to because the PULL in the hypnagogic experience is TOO STRONG. It feels forced, I can tell- immediately- there is a presence waiting for me. There is a surreal noise in my ear, and I keep myself from being taken. I don't want to go with this presence. This could be my own fear- but the feeling of this in between state was not so subtle and more like slamming me down as energy was rising to meet for an OBE.

------------------


And todays:

black site, black crocodile


it's 2:10AM. i woke up in a bit of a panic. that same, "hand on the glass" and shadowy visitor from yesterday has cropped up in my dreams again. except this time, instead of a child it's an extremely massive black crocodile splayed horizontally against my parents bedroom windows.

in the dream.

people are coming up to me and sympathizing with me. i haven't a clue what they're talking about. even my mom says she saw me in this film. i have no recollection of being in a film. so. we watch this film in my parents bedroom. it's a documentary of some kind, and the film isn't about me but about these strange reptile beings. i happen to be in the film as someone effected by the beings.

when my segment comes up it's like an interview style on 60 minutes, mixed in with some mock footage where these documentaries re-create scenes to help paint a picture for the audience- and strangely enough i'm singing a song, playing guitar, and even rapping a little bit about my transformation.

in this documentary- i am recalling my time at a military black site. whatever that means. i notice my head is shaved and i look a little different, but this is me. there is nothing pleasant about my recollection in this documentary, it is actually quite a disturbing tale/harrowing song. i am singing about my genes being transformed. it's about becoming the thing i have previously dreamed of subduing(the crocodile). i'm watching with my parents and am just blown away why i have no memory of being there making this film- even, wondering, how i came to be such a good singer and rapper. i don't remember any of this, and i don't remember any of my time at this alleged black site either.

the song goes into full detail of my transformation- these murky waters, the changes to my DNA, and the pain associated with everything.

as we are finishing the film i look up and out the window and i see a large hand/claws slapped against the windows then quickly retract. i jump back and yell, my heart is racing. my dad looks up and wonders what i'm freaked out about. as if there's nothing there. he opens his blinds to the remainder of his windows and there's a massive black crocodile pressed horizontally against the windows. i am having a full blown heart attack. it's come for me. i wake up in a state of panic.

edit: it was a similar fear, as well, towards the unwanted visitor from yesterday.
last night- before going to bed, i prayed to god that i would like the opportunity again to encounter whatever was happening and work through the fear. i prayed for healing. is this related ... ?

[guest587]

yesterday, with the black crocodile dream- i fell back asleep and was in a surreal land. i am going to share that dream before sharing tonights because i believe they are all connected. i wont share everything- but just the strange land:

and something i also don't think can be easily understood is that- during this dream, i am having additional dreams. i am basically dreaming two things at once, what i call multi-layered dreams. one layer will be, for instance, me at my house noticing a mosquito. while at the same time, i am dreaming of being at an airport and of people moving about.

so i am sharing yesterdays dream as it relates to the course of the last few nights- which i believe i had a visitor. i do think the black crocodile is a scary aspect of myself. i am being confronted with aspects of self, but at the same time, with the assistance of beings we do not ordinarily perceive. that is my belief.

i do manage to fall back asleep. it's a quest-adventure. it's the last thing i dream before waking up. this is one of those instances where i'm having multiple dreams- two layers, two different worlds. the quest-adventure is its own layer/world. then there's a dream more true to life as it relates to my bedroom and my house.

i'm in a special land, you can't be there too long. it's like an observatory, and the sky above us is rotating much faster than normal. there are stars and yet it is daylight. this place makes you forgetful. it started as a mission to retrieve, something... and someone is here with me- they remind me,
"i don't like this place."
"you can't spend too much time here."
and when i ask why, he shows me that the time he spent thinking- 20 years have passed.
"i can revert back, if i concentrate hard enough."
and although he had aged 20 years, he reverts back to his youthful appearance.

i am starting to forget why i'm here, but i must retrieve this special gold box. too much time has passed, i can't go back. there is hope- a young brother appears, he is our salvation and chance at returning. he is, "a hope for tomorrow" made incarnate. i am pleading with him, crying. he tells me i am his favorite brother. i tell him the same. but i suddenly remember i must grab the golden box. i take him with me and we find a wall of gold, there are many boxes here.

i am to find the symbol- while i'm here i suddenly have servants. they're like the skesis from the dark crystal. i ask them what this symbol is on the box and the one says, "it is the sigil of my people. it is a slain skesis." somehow this is what i'm looking for...

somehow this emphasis on this boy who represents, "hope" and "tomorrow" is the key to the quest-

curious to me that the specific words, "hope for tomorrow"
so starting jan 6th i was approached by a visitor. jan 7th i learn of a painful transformation at the genetic level, and am left with the words, "a hope for tomorrow"

and last night i dreamt of an alien experiment which was considered successful in many ways... was this, "the hope for tomorrow?"

it also is curious to me that we can have dreams carry on the next day. my friend casey claar has had survival dreams all month long, sometimes picking up right where she left off from the night before. it does seem that the more we become aware of our dreams, the more we can see how they relate and carry on into the next time we fall asleep.

i am always fascinated by what happens to the mind as we begin to go to sleep- always hoping to catch that slipping point of awareness to non-awareness and noticing things in the body as it happens. this is a hidden joy in my life.

so without further ado- last nights dream:

human alien hybrid experiment


i'm with some secret intelligence force(human). i'm dreaming as group mind. the perspective is from the small group of volunteers. we're willing experiments, attempting something like a transfer of consciousness into alien hybrid avatars. some aliens are offended because our hybrids contain original(ancestral) genetics of the offended. this isn't revealed until later. at first the focus is on the experiment. it's a daunting task. we're a limited crew of 3 or 4 inside a small underground base. we are having to die and be reborn. there is one female in the group- i see through her eyes and the others. we place ourselves in these cryogenic-like tubes. except, a orange liquid begins to fill. the crew of volunteers think the orange liquid is very unique looking. beautiful even. it is not yet revealed to us that this would kill us. the liquid fills everything in the tube essentially- we have to drown in order to proceed. once the realization dawns upon the female, she breaks free from the tube followed by the rest of the volunteers.

it takes multiple attempts before we get it just right. from the perspective of those conducting this experiment- patience is lost by those of higher rank. they start demanding and threatening. one man specifically, tells us of a similar experiment now being conducted on another group of volunteers in another room. he tells us whoever completes this mission first gets to go home. whoever doesn't... well. it's a threat.

i'm back in the eyes of the woman, and another character who reminds me of someone like harrison ford. we are determined to do this- as terrifying as the concept of dying/drowning is. i watch the harrison ford-look-a-like go into the tube and as liquid begins to fill he lets out a bubble and sticks his tongue out. he seems fearless. so we all proceed, and we all allow the liquid to take over everything.

from here, something interesting happens. like a creature jumps out on my back- and another with the other volunteers. the project/experiment is a success. we are now occupying the body and minds of alien forms. we are all different, yet we are able to communicate to each other in the aliens native tongue. we also realize we are able to communicate to each other without talking. there seems to be some emphasis and excitement about our ability to communicate underwater. like we can move about at great depths in the water unrestricted.

the dream begins to kind of slip into a more chaotic, less centrally focused dream. it's a new environment with streams of data. this is where i discover multiple ET beings aware of the project and some who are displeased that hybrids are inhabiting ancestral bodies. it also seems like there's a bunch of, "feet" moving across a mall or an airport. but its more like we're on a ship. it's a different place from where the experiments were originally conducted. this place feels, above ground. more like in the sky . that image of a bunch of feet walking across empty space is really dominating my mind. it's a busy bodied environment. there are many details lost as a consequence. i do think there is a love story of some sort that i am missing, and there is also a mission by a few humans who are not so successful in their transformations- an image of a few people wading in water, those same people attempting to get back home.
 

[guest587]

three bunnies, one is a personal favorite 

i have multiple *scenes* that i remember as distinct. but... i woke up and was on dog duty... so i only remember the details of one for the joy it brought me.

i was gifted three bunny rabbits. two were shy, they were gray and white. i placed carrots about to try and get them to feed. there was great tender care for their well being.

there is one(and i usually call pets in my dream Charlie. I think I called this one charlie too, but i have to say- I think this is my default and maybe i am remembering this detail wrong) he was a shaggy, long haired- white and brown baby bunny. he was so cute, so adorable, and always getting into mischief. always wanting to explore his boundaries. i felt a lot of love and joy for Charlie. i felt like he was mine. my friend, my sweet baby too.