Anger

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Most of us have to deal with anger sometime in our life.
We may not express anger outwardly yet we are very aware that is is arising within.
It is due to frustrated desire. So how do we deal with frustrated desire?
Many times in life things are not going to go the way we would like them to.
This is part of the reason we are with other people; God has put us all together
and then said; "now let's see how you get along"?

Some people express their anger differently of course. As a matter of fact sometimes we find that people will take
a very different course of action because of their anger .  To satisfy themselves that they are
not angry  it is because of the person they feel who created difficulties that they have taken this covert action.
This sureptitious action only complicates the relationship further.
What webs we weave for our selves that entangle ourselves.

So how do we confront our own anger? Perhaps one of the best ways is to be patient
With ourselves and at the same time expressing ourselves because otherwiise
we will be like a hot pan of water with a lid on it: Ready to bubble over at anytime.

Like usual meditation is a good way to distance ourselves from anger because we observe
our feelings rather than getting embroiled in them. Yet we still need to communicate with
the other person we are angry with. We do not dissolve karma by treating others cold,
leaving them or expressing overt anger towards them. Karma between two
individuals exists because of a close relationship developed in the past.
We may think we can dissolve our feelings by taking convoluted actions
but eventually they will catch up to us.

Jitendra

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else.
You are the one who gets burned.

Buddha

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Recently someone told me they had not seen me for a long time because of somethings that were
said. i find it amazing that people will hold in
ill feelings for so long, to others, and not
express them. This is a form of anger
held inside, directed internally, and is toxic to the self. When we learn to express ourselves
constructively we  absolve ourselves
of these negative emotions.
Thanks for your replies dragonpie.

Steve

[Jitendra Hydonus]

How do we deal with our own anger? We do not beat ouselves up for it.
We just notice it. We witness it. Everytime we see it rising its
ugly face we get better and better at facing and recognizing it.
We find better ways to express ourselves when we feel anger.

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Yogananda offered that
"Anger arises from thwarted desires."

Thwarted means we attached to "expectations of a specific outinthe balls.ome", and were let down when it did not happen that way.

I continue to strive to understanding how to stop the cycle -- that attachment...

1). It seems perfectly natural to have an "expectation",
-- having an expectation does not seem contrary to Truth or Harmony - not at least on it's own,
I think this because God's Creation (this Universe) is ruled by LAW of cause and effect,
and God gave us a mind and reason and such to see "possibilities",
and even see the "probability" of a specific "possibility" arriving outwardly in events.
(I.E. - to expect)

2). It seems the issue is with "attaching" and "specific"
 (not remaining pliable and flowing)...
{  this "attachment to a specific outcome" is what gets me...  it is what sets me up for the rollercoaster ride !  }
 
For example, if someone cuts me off in traffic,
Do my thoughts and emotions boil up ?
Do I send 'dagger eyes', bad vibes their way, and bring up a wall of seperation ?
Do I have to understand why -- because sometimes it seems best to give the "why" to "God"... and not think we have to bring some justice by our reaction on the road, etc.

BUT Yogananda also advises that we should not be a door mat -- do not "bite", doesn't mean we shouldn't "hiss" in a measured manner.

&&&&&&&&&&&&
do we simply say,
"God, you are expressing in that one... I don't have to understand why, but goodness what a show, what a fuss! "
"Maybe they are a clock worker trying to get to work, or to pick up a child, or distracted by a headache, or work issue..."

Do we think how tough it must be for that person to live in their own close-looped energy ?     ( I used to experience mild road rage and more aggressive driving -- it's a terrible place to be -- I remember it made me unhappy to be like that...  )

But when it comes down to it... we have to guard ourselves -- and God will move us away from those persons and situation that are not resonate (i.e. - that are negative).   We do not, and should not be a door mat...   compassion for one's center is also very much a core path...   

Anyways,,   just sharing some of my life's observations...
Cheers,

Namaste2All it is so nice to have your recent presence here. I do not know if it
was partially out of perception. If it was your sensitivity was right on.
As you would say: What's up with this|that? And recently I have felt the same
myself: What's up with this? Sometimes the presence of friends couldn't be more timely.

I am happy to see that you have brought up some points about thwarted desire and
expectations creating anger.i wonder though when the Indians were forcibly massacered
and driven from their homes... can we say that anger arose out of thwarted desire
and expectations? I mean if someone (God forbid) came into your house raped
your wife while u were tied up and being kicked in the balls....Would anger arrise out of thwarted desire and expectations?
that caused your anger? Or should we be at peace with the situation? I am giving an extreme example
to understand if and when anger is justified. Perhaps u or I would not feel anger but
most of us would feel something and how do we deal wth that something when it occurs.

I think that some of us have felt such feelings on the forum and even toward each other.
These are not easy questions to answer. My thought is to explore and not ignore feelings
so we can come to better understanding of y we and others respond and act as they do
when placed in situations that can cause such escalated reactions; whether these actions
come from anger some other emotion or mixed emotions.

Many of us have learned much about managing anger and finding ways to eliminate it
from our lives. Yet there is a close relative to anger. It is irritation. We often witness this
in our friends and even perhaps moreso in ourselves. If exposed to more challenging
circumstances irritation can escalate into anger. So for me I am always trying to be
aware of my irritations and nip them in the bud.



In.divine friendship

Jitendra

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Hello Nomaste

The Master offers another definition. of anger to the one you mentioned about thwarted desire. It comes from lesson 33 The
Chemistry of Feelings He says that anger is usually awakened when one's own or another's interest is hurt. The chemical combination of violent anger plus self~interest or selfishness causes a psychological explosion ending in hysterics or some dangerous act. Anger plus greed and dissipation makes for recklessness, satiety, and indifference. Anger plus devotion to a
religious cause--if tempered with reason--produces some definite result for good in the world.

[Comet]

How do we deal with our own anger? We do not beat ouselves up for it.
We just notice it. We witness it. Everytime we see it rising its
ugly face we get better and better at facing and recognizing it.
We find better ways to express ourselves when we feel anger.

This is true!! Kinda where i am at i can get frustrated with this situation i am in and i am starting to recognize my own frustration and anger and trying to figure out how to shift it so i don't take my frustration out on others! Good thing i live alone!! LOL Now that i am out walking and working at PT on my own i am feeling better and learning to express myself when i feel frustrated and angry!! I am also learning to deal with my emotions better too i never been a real emotional person so i am starting to learn how to work through all this!! Starting to feel more at peace!!

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Holding on to anger is like grasping  :-o a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who will get burned. Buddha

I have been talking with a friend about dealing with anger in others because we encountered anger in someone else. It is interesting because many times you cannot say anything because someone that is angry is often 'looking for a fight'.

So often you have to leave the beast to its own cage. Saying much of anything can draw you in to the beasts cage of anger. Sometimes it is better to let the beast to itself for time out. Leaving to another room or out of the house or car for a time may be the best solution. If it occurs on the internet, ignoring it, or if it causes troubles with others: leaving temporarily may be wiser. You may not  be in a position to do anything  and doing nothing may have a better outcome.

Many times people think their anger is justified.  It rarely changes anything for the better. Anger is like a forest fire: it burns everything in its path and destroys relationships. How do you deal with the anger you see in others and yourself?

[guest88]

steve good question ! i don't know
sometimes it's easier then others
and sometimes it's almost begging you to give in to your anger
like a creative expression yearning to escape and experience
even though later you may regret, in the moment, there is a weird sense of pleasure when you give in to your anger
but i don't recommend giving into anger it often means playing the fool and hurting yourself, others and your relationships

arghhhh!!!

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Whether anger takes place on a forum, in a room or an oudoor event: it seems to me the best way to deal with it is to give it time out unless there appears an immediate solution at hand. Because people that are angry usually are picking to start a fight and to draw those around them into their anger. Usually no one wins these fights and everyone looses.

Anger creates fire in the atmosphere.  The vibrations are so anti-spiritual that it takes quite a while to reestablish a peaceful environment. For those sensitive to vibrations it is like a lightning bolt striking into your being. Avoid angry people and situations. If you are fortunate to see anger developing, change the subject if this does not work-leave. Come back another time if you care about the person enough to do so. Let them know-not through confrontation-that you do not want to be a part of their anger.

We have a spiritual immune system. Gathering peace in our pail of meditation helps us be immune from the fall of anger. To never practice peace and meditattion is to be opened up to evil forces that slip into our consciosness and manifest as angry spirits.

Like a drug; anger may show somethings about your hidden supressions.Yet it is like taking a plant and pulling it from its roots. You 'see' the roots but the plant looses its divine expression. It becomes lifeless.

Anger arises from thwarted desire.

[guest88]

i got angry last night and gave into it and got other people involved. it was a mess, i was pretty foolish

growing up my mom and sister used to tell me i have anger problems

a buddhist monk told me i have deep-seeded anger issues that may cause me to lose those closest to me

admitting i have an anger problem has been hard to face, im usually quite content and find it difficult to pin point the origins of the anger. holding it in though doesn't necessarily help and not doing anything makes me feel weak thus a momentary satisfaction in lashing out

followed by some regret

recognizing this is a step but not sure what more to do other then try to regain control which can be hard to do sometimes
i know i need more discipline which i'm practicing

[SI]

Since I started this path my anger outbursts have been drastically reduced.

I'm not sure what kind of advice I have, except the last time it happened to me I felt so much different afterwards, (it really broke my serenity I was working on), there was a lot of energy in my head, but it was not the kind I wanted, but if I remember at that point I tried to expel it as it seemed it was something inside of me that at that point in time, since it was there within my grasp, I could then try to cast it out. I also take indian ginseng almost every day, great relaxer but adds energy as well.

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Since I started this path my anger outbursts have been drastically reduced.

I'm not sure what kind of advice I have, except the last time it happened to me I felt so much different afterwards, (it really broke my serenity I was working on), there was a lot of energy in my head, but it was not the kind I wanted, but if I remember at that point I tried to expel it as it seemed it was something inside of me that at that point in time, since it was there within my grasp, I could then try to cast it out. I also take indian ginseng almost every day, great relaxer but adds energy as well.

I've been draztically reduced meself. Best guess is when izza all gone....Den i will be what i was meant to b. Will ya join me on this joy ride?

[SI]

seems something is missing, is the post ghost at it again?

[mccoy]

There is the anger which manifests in sudden violent outbursts and there is the anger which simmers, invisible to all, lingering in your brain, consuming the whole being. Guess which is the worse one...

Mind control is the only strategy, especially in the 2nd case.

My outbursts used to be rare, now there are nearly no outbursts at all, wonder if ti is age increasing and testosterone decreasing.

But I was subject to the simmering kind for a while and it was very hard to control. Only mental detachment and analysis won it.

[Jitendra Hydonus]

seems something is missing, is the post ghost at it again?

Not i said the fly mysteriously.