Message #44156

[guest587]

i'm scoping out a future living space. i am forced to apply to this community building built within what seems to be a mall or some kind of high trafficked inner-city. the reason has to do with my income. i can only afford to pay $385 a month towards rent. when i tell the woman this, and that i am not financially independent, she says i qualify and am allowed to apply. she gets up to show me an example room. it's very small, and the toilet is next to the kitchen, and the bed is next to the toilet. everything is lined up next to each other. it is highly discouraging. i will likely not live somewhere where the toilet is in between the kitchen and bedroom. suddenly it starts flooding inside the model room. i ask her about that and apparently everything with this place is in need of repair. not only that but the designers were super lazy.

even though i'm deciding not to live here i seem to be hanging out, energetically speaking, around this area. i am viewing multiple rooms, the leasing agents interaction with one another, and the area outside the building. i am kind of sifting around as formless awareness. sometimes a body, sometimes not. at one point i'm back in another room where someone seems to be living. i occupy their body to get a feel for everything. i recognize the bed is entirely too small for me. and there seems to be no backyard. i instruct the body i'm occupying to show me the outside. he opens up a small window and there's a flooded pool outside. it's raining and there are palm tree's. at least there are some tree's. the pool is not manmade it's just the consequence of all the flooding. i look up and realize these units are all stacked on each other. vertical housing. at the very top there seems to be a community rest area that allows you to peer outside. again, none of it is appealing. it feels like a modern prison.

i am back with the leasing agents who are about to host a party. they need someone else to be there and to pretend to be this indian man. i decide to play along, and they have me wear these robes. there's all kinds of food being offered and i'm reminded the man i'm pretending to be is vegetarian. i ask them why they would present meat if we are vegetarian. either way, i stick to the non-meat options as myself and a small group of people are circling around a main table and discussing who knows what. the color of the robes are beige and black.

somewhere in between dream scenes i see arizona and feel like i really want to live there. i hear the mayor of some major city talk and she seems to be a proud conservative boasting about her gun laws. i get this feeling that i don't want to live in the city but i see these mountains among a beautiful orange, setting sun. i feel this completely safe feeling and have a desire to live here. this desire tells me everything will make sense and allow me to come into my own.

suddenly i am moving along a countryside where me and another fellow watch this beautiful horse trot by. it's a majestic young horse with some kind of custom leather helmet on his head. the color of the horse is black with creamy greys and whites. the fellow i'm with comments on its helmet(it because we weren't sure at first if guy or girl. i believe young male but the other man thinks at first it might be a female) and i explain to him the horse belongs to this lady who also has hippos and she uses the hides from her hippos to craft custom protective gear for the horses heads. we go to her barn to learn more.

there is a scene where i am inside the barn in a cramped space with others, all on our backs- one of the hippos comes up and turns into a giant black pig. i ask the woman if its ok that he's coming right up to me like this- and she assures me that he will not use his massive weight to crush me. i pet him like a dog and he is extremely happy and rest a bit of his weight against me, but he doesn't pin me down and he makes a conscious effort not to apply all his body weight on me.

i'm transitioning into a wakeful state and there are two scenes happening at once. in one i am a young man, not my self at all, instructed to shoot my father in the head. he is not my actual father. i have no clue who this man is. my personality is the same, but i am none of these characters. i take no qualm holding up this rifle and looking down the scope and shooting at this bald man in the distance. i lead my shot, its perfect. the gun goes off, it makes the noise, there's a kickback- only, nothing happens. the man in the distance keeps walking, doesn't even look up. never noticed. did i miss? i take aim and look at the bald headed man once more. now i'm just watching. wondering about him. i take another shot when he's sitting still. again, nothing happens. no one notices. i wonder if i missed again? now i'm just completely observing this man through a scope, the crosshairs are perfectly on him- but i decide not to shoot. i am just observing...

in another scene i am back in a barn with a bunch of people. the dream focuses on this girl. again we are all on our backs laying side by side in a cramped space against the earth. the girl has a boyfriend next to her. the scene focuses on the fact that her genitals are exposed, and the boyfriend is prodding her near the top of her genitalia. suddenly two or three more penises come into view and are all prodding her vagina. like a slow moving camera the view pans down and i realize i am the only one actually inside her vagina- not even her boyfriend. there isn't much thought or emotion here, that i can tell. like- why are all these penises up against her? none of that crosses my mind. instead the focus is on the girls pleasure, and her breathing. its labored and theres a weird ambience of pink happening in the atmosphere. she is in a form of ecstasy. i am the only one actually inside her, and the scene seems to focus on this with her body motion and her breathing. wake up.