A thought occurred to me today that perhaps a reason I have not received more definitive answers/experience at this time, despite the thinning of the veil that has already taken place, is because I am not ready. I have not learned how to listen to God. I think this might be a reason my reunion with the Peacock Angel has only gone so far. Presently I still have selfish desires that sometimes supersede the small voice within.
Until the day can come when I do not rely on the surface level thoughts, but can fully comprehend the nonverbal sensations from the depth of my being as an intimate communion with God, I can not fully advance. For now, the connection remains intermittent.
Maybe this sounds extreme. But I can also say I am not ready, sometimes I am okay with humoring selfish tendencies. I am hopeful as the process seems to be maturing, and the selfish thoughts become less frequent. I can not say I have overcome restlessness.
My thoughts here are that you have a candid admission. I also have material desires, and attempt to put them in the context of conscious communion and the presence of divine energies overseeing all my actions. And being part of those surface level restless tendencies.
It is somewhat like seeing something before your senses that attracts you, and you recognize it as an attraction. Yet because of previous associations with such phenomena, you also recognize the wasted time or the lack of satisfaction associated with them. Some amount of wisdom has developed here. And at that point there is a choice between moving forward again in a direction that has not brought fulfillment in the past or holding off and patiently refraining, in the knowledge that there are factors that can fulfill such longings in a higher manner., because you have been in touch with them at certain points in your unfolding conscious journey.
