It's funny, once you "let someone be right" about whatever they want to "let you know" they are right about, they open up, even if just a little usually. I think these people often have been the victims of verbal and emotional abuse, probably while growing up, and have a feeling to "feel right" when in conversation quite often, because of this deep seated insecurity stemming from the past. Once you let them know you heard and understand their perspective, usually, they become more open, though sometimes you have to sit through a lot of negative emotional release on their part to get there. I just experienced this in a conversation with a friend I hadn't talk to in 2 months. I just kept telling him "I heard and understood what you said", and eventually he opened up, the energy of the conversation changed from his aggression and frustration, to more reflective and open and honest.
As per the your original questions Steve... yes and yes and yes and yes
I seem to always find just "being present" and "letting go" to be my solution to these "traps" and 9 times out of 10, the trap itself disappears once I view it from a different perspective, which only ever happens if I am "being present" and able to "let go" of useful emotion and thought patterns.
Gurdjieff said it is not important to try to figure out what is the wrong or right thing to do, because this leaves us in the intellectual sphere which is incomplete and subject to mass hypnosis among other sneaky influences. He said all anyone needs to do to live a better life is to "wake up", because if you are awake you will do the sensible thing, if you're asleep, you will be following "dream logic" in waking life... Mr. Magoo style...
