What you're both discussing reminds me of something I've read in somewhat recent times coined, "neuro pathways."
As I understand it... Say we learn to ride a bike. We are creating a pathway in our brain. The more we practice the more we enforce this pathway. If we stop riding and come back to it years later, we instinctively remember how to ride this bike. It's because the pathway is still there... It has been a while since I've touched up on this subject... So my understanding may need a more experienced persons clarification... But I eventually understood it as not only do neuropathways form by physical stimuli but emotional as well. Meaning, if we behave in a certain manner because of how such and such has made us feel... Then we create the pathway in our brains. Once this pathway is created, it's easy for us to revisit it... And the more we revisit it,
the more we reinforce this path...
I think I've read you can't undo these pathways.. But what you can do is override them with new ones... You can reconstruct your pathways.. Reinforce them to a more positive outcome using a little creativity, through intention practice and repetition
Perhaps we cannot "undo" our mental pathways... but I do think we can create new pathways and feed our ENERGY into pathways which better serve us and others.
Everything that happens to us and everything we do has an effect on our mind, and how we respond to it, is up to us... but sometimes it is very hard to let go of things, especially the loss of someone we loved greatly from our lives, whether a friend, lover or family member...
I've heard that neuroscience has actually shown that when we are in a deep or long relationship and that person leaves or dies, it does actually look like a part of our brain stops working fully... as if it had a space in it's pathways for that person, which can no long function the same without them....
In this case, I do not think we are DOOMED to never using this part of our heart, mind or brain again! I think, over time, we can re-purpose this space for new people, groups, ideas, and creations! How many great works of art or books or music have been fueled by the loss or a great longing for someone out of reach for various reasons?
We have just left the Winter Solstice... the lowest energetic (sunlight) time of the year... now is the time for all of us to have the chance to LET GO of old neural pathways and energies which do not serve us, and to OPEN our hearts, minds and spirits into the possibilities that the NEW YEAR will bring!
Personally, I believe our suffering is ultimately a gift... we are on Earth to learn lessons, and to grow and to help and inspire others to do the same... so we as a species can continue to awaken in positive LOVING direction, before it's too late...
Any loss we feel or mistake we made or suffering we have experienced has some lesson to teach us, I believe. And the greatest "silver lining" of all when we suffer, according to Ram Dass and Neem Karoli Baba is that "Suffering brings us closer to God".
Like a psychedelic or deep meditation experience... hopefully we are able to take away something valuable from our visit nearer to God... and bring it back to our regular, daily existence on Earth..
Thank you all for making this website and thread so full of honest perspectives, for opening up and sharing your reality.
<3
