But.. I don't feel like meditating.

[Jitendra Hydonus]

This is like saying I  don't feel like eating or sleeping. Imagine the plants in your
garden deciding they don't feel like growing. The best thing to do is sit down and just relax,
sitting up straight, watching the breath a bit and then perhaps praying a bit.

Without meditation this life can eat us up when there are challenges. We do not want
to meditate because we are not used to being calm and observing who we are.
We are so caught up in this creation and our everyday activities that we take them
to be reality. Meditation is actually our natural state, however we get caught up in this world
and we have lost that natural state. Now we look at life through our dark perceptions
instead of through the clarity of  meditation born bliss and calmness.

True meditation is our natural state. A Master does not have to meditate because they are
one with meditation. They have that bliss and that joy all the time. They have what we
are looking for. They have happiness ALL THE TIME. We practice meditation so we
too can be happy more and more. Because true happiness comes from inside us we practice
going inside. Sure there is some happiness outside us but it is only temporary. Most people
live in total darkness thinking they can or will find happiness in this world and in having
things in this world. When we start seeking our happiness inside us and change our focus
from the outside world to the inside world we begin the spiritual life.

[Jitendra Hydonus]

If you think of yourself back in the old west here in the states or in a kingdom a few hundred years ago you will get an understanding of how some us feel being in this period of history. Sometimes we must look at life this way because many
of us are here and ahead of oue times. Just as if we were in a life several hundred years ago we may feel as if we were
out of place time travelers so some of us feel that way in this. generation.

The truth is that some of us are oddities. We are ahead of our time. That is why we need to seek each other out and not
return our attitudes to this century. We are not in a John Wayne movie anymore.Yet we find ourselves in a crazy movie of commercial interests and commodity acquisition...getting things.. a house a husband or wife...a car ... a stereo...
a certain look in clothes. This is the current milieu.

I have come in this life with a purpose and many of you have.  Some of us recognize that purpose earlier in life, others must
struggle for years with people and circumstances before recognizing that their life and mission is much
different than those around them. Would we call ourselves freaks for not joining in with the cowboys in a bar in an old
Clint Eastwood type setting. No we would not. And so many of us do not see the sense of spending are time at the mall
with others. We have a higher calling. That is why we are here at this forum. Yes we are smaller than the masses but we
are here to speak for a higher time and place and we have found each other.

Meditation, the spiritual world and psychic type experiences all relate to we who have come from higher civilizations  and have
helped backward thinking cultures in the past. Let us recognize the blessing of not being cut off entirely in our
purpose but recognizing our affinity and purpose and fortune in finding one another.

Jitendra

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Sometimes the meditator does not want to meditate. Sometimes we need to just sit still and stare at something. When the body becomes still the mind becomes still; our breathing rate goes down. It goes up when we have emotions and fears. Just look at the ceiling. Breathing in brings fresh energy. When you breath out; dispel negativity. Soon when you are relaxed, it will be naturall to close the eyes.

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Seeking Self -- A talk by Brother Ishtananda
(San Diego Temple, Sunday, June 23rd)

I was wandering around Hollywood Temple,
and went into the Sunday School class,
and asked an 11 year old girl the proverbial question,
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
 
" I want to be Self-realized. ", she responded.

How many of us want to be Self-realized?

So many of us want to meet others -- the right partner, the right therapist, the right doctor, etc.    But finding 'Self' leads to a state of perfect peace and contentment.   
And what about finding God ?
Knowing one's Self is knowing God.

'Self' is interchangeable with Soul (Atman) -- the Supreme Consciousness. 
We do know God when we abide in the Truth.
So many people tell me that they can't really relate to a God that is wrathful or part of conventional religions.  I suggest they may want to forget about their 'relationship with God' and find their 'relationship with the Self'. 
Knowing one's Self (Atman / Soul) is knowing God.

It is very difficult to hold onto the after-effects of meditation. We can be a 'God of Peace', and turn into a 'Devil of Provocation'.   Our meditations are of little value, of little use, if we don't hold onto the after-effects of meditation.  But even if you are not meditating there are times when this Supreme Consciousness comes over us. We are watching a beautiful sunset, walking or just sitting quietly in nature, and the peace seems to come over us. 

If the limited 'personal self' (ego / ahamkara) is how we are trying to hold onto peace and joy, then how are we to hold onto the after-effects of meditation ?    Everything we (as the 'limited personal self') try to hold onto, will have to be let go -- for the 'limited personal self' resides and is part of the realm of the 'nature of duality'.   The nature of duality, means we will be lifted up and then we will be let down.  The limited 'personal self' is trying to hold onto the 'Self (Atman) Soul', but throughout the day we (the personal self) are thrown into the concrete mixer of the world (of duality) -- that's just where the limited personal self resides -- in the concrete mixer of the world.

So what is it that creates the sense of the 'I-ness' ? 

The left hemisphere of the brain is trying to put a story together about our life.  The left hemisphere will do anything to keep a belief - sticking to it no matter what.    There was a woman in a hospital in New York.  She kept saying that she was at her home in Maine.  The psychiatrist asked her, "If you are in your home in Maine, then why are there elevators in the building that she is in now?"  The patient explained to the doctor, "You wouldn't believe what it cost to have those elevators installed in my house".   So you see we have a spin-doctor who is trying to keep the story together of  'who I am '.   We believe our own press releases.

But who is the real "Being" ?
Consciousness is.  We are pure Divine Consciousness.   
Scientists are now telling us that the 'Substratum of our Being' is consciousness. 
The mind can only deal with thoughts and concepts.  We are far beyond qualities of thought.

We are trying to get beyond the 'personal self', to the 'individualized Self /(Atman)/(Soul)'.   
We are SatChitAnanda. 
-- Sat is Existence.
-- Chit is awareness and consciousness.
-- Ananda is the native quality of our existence which is Bliss. 
We are ever-conscious, ever-new bliss.  We are divine consciousness.   
The Spiritual Masters knew this.    Their reality is identified with this pure consciousness.

The mind and body identification is ever seeking pleasure, because there is the memory of that 'State of Bliss' of our 'Self/Atman/Soul' within us.  So what keeps us from knowing we are ever-conscious, ever-new bliss ?   The pains and aches of the body and the mind's chatter.   The sense of identification with the body, and the restless mind is the root of our misery. 

We (as pure divine consciousness centered in Self/Soul/Atman) can be 'Aware Of' our (personal self's) feelings and thoughts, yet not be 'identified with' our body and thoughts.   The thought of being a limited human-being is an illusion.   Somebody said once: 'I always wanted to be someone, but now I realize I should have been more specific'.   

What causes us to identify with the body and mind ?    It is ego or ahamkara.    The literal translation is "I experience" or "I do".

We are so afraid (or wrapped up) thinking the prescribed path of the Guru will not afford us to unfold the way we (ahamkara) envisioned.   So then, we become the devotee who does not want to surrender.
-- I do the meditation.
-- I do the service.
-- I do study masters teachings.
We become identified in the sense of what we do.
I am NOT making progress. I am NOT advancing.  There doesn't have to be this identification with the effort. We impose limitations on ourselves and then we try to transcend them.  We have (incorrectly) cognized ourselves as separate from Spirit.    So, how do we get away from such identification ?     There has to be that desire to get beyond, and to know what is greater than the I.   The self is what it considers itself to be -- so just one thought may redeem you.

As a person's concepts are; accordingly does maya bind him.   As a man thinketh, so is he.   You may say, "But I have a lot of experiences in knowing my personal story." 
How do we perceive ourselves differently ?    All of us have felt the gaps in our thoughts.   

The feelings of peace and bliss.   There comes a time when the mind has shut up and you are aware of the breath and aware of the mantra.  There begins to be little pauses between the Hong and the Sau.  That's when there is a wearing or building of a stairway towards the Self,  but as soon as we try to force or 'make it happen' the ego comes back in.   Yet even when your thoughts stop, you are still aware.    If you use the mantra Hong-Sau, you are the Self between the Hong and the Sau.

Don't be looking for special fireworks.  Our goal is to find pure awareness, and the Guru provides many spiritual approaches to achieve this pure awareness.   Being awake and aware of the self is something that works.   It is a direct approach.   The self is at no distance.  You are forever it.

There is the vastness of the sky and the ineffable beauty of the stars and billions of planets and galaxies and nebula.  This energy is being guided by a divine source, but we want to be in charge.  We think, "That intelligence may not do what I need it to do."   So we then want to be in charge of things.    Maya/Satan can only work when there is duality.    That is why we want to get out of it (duality).   Satan and Maya have no power when we are beyond duality.  As a person's consciousness is, accordingly does Maya bind him.
How do you think of yourself as free from bondage ?   Free from a mind restless with desire ?  Think of yourself as the Self.    Identify with the Self.    Even if you're not there.   
Where do you go?  You think of yourself as a cloud moving in the sky.  But the sky doesn't move.    We are that sky not the clouds passing by.     Identification is the key.    So consider, what are we identified with?

Listen to what I have said....what I'm saying.
The mind will tell you why it should be doing something else.
Why turn your life over to a spin doctor in the left brain?

OM
Shanti
Amen

Prabhatsina and to those who have an interest:

It looks like our friend Nomaste did some  editing for us to help the eye and reading comfort; for which we express gratitude in the recognition of love expressed outwardly. Next time I see Brother Ishtananda I will take notes for you! However it is not
always the quantity that counts but rather the quality. The recognition of what is already there.The ability to chew and digest
what has already been given.

Kriya  helps me experience that occasional bliss. At the top of the inhalation-in the practice of Kriya-we hold the energy at the ajna center for a count of 3. At times when the breath is out; we find we are at the place we have been seeking-a moment of breathless bliss. 

Yet perhaps because of Brothers talk, I have been going back to long sessions with hong-sau and just being aware of when the breath slows down and those pauses that occur. The bliss and peace wants to wedge its way in between the inhalation and exhalation and the busy restless thoughts which originate from endless desires. The phrase - hong and then sau which means - I am he or he is me - is short and gives plenty of time for lapses and pauses...when we just experience...we are just being.

We can trip up the spin-doctor and get a glimpse into what we are and not how we think of ourselves as being. It is all very
simple but the mind plays havoc with our practice. Then people do not want to practice. Yet unless we are ready to simplify our life and desires we will always have difficulty with the practice. How we live our life and the practice of meditation go hand in hand. They cannot be separated. I find myself constantly reminding myself of this. Because the mind wants to speak for itself.
It takes time and patience to get the mind to speak for the SELF.

Jitendra