Thank You for spending so much time on my posts.You also brought up the subject of boundaries.
Life is full of boundaries. From the lines on the highway to property lines to lines we
establish in relationships. What we want out of the relationship and what we do not want.
They often determine whether or not we accept a relationship with someone else or
whether they accept a relationship with us and to what extent and what kind of
relationship!
Your welcome Steve!! Yes that is the trouble with Boundaries and why i have been starting to let my guard down a little! Sometimes we need to set them to focus on ourselves but then we also miss the best part of friendships if we do that too! I am still learning!!
This can be quite a topic in itself. We often find that are partner or friend
wants something very different than we do out of a relationship. I choose not to use
the word boundary so much as agreement. Relationships come to an agreement
of how they can function. In some relationships they are even unspoken for a long
time. They just seem to work out naturally without all the talk and negotiation.
Others require much more talk because the two involved have a different
perspective or may have even changed their outlook.
I agree!! That is why i am slowly starting to remove the boundaries!! I've had friendships that just ease their way back naturally too after long periods of times!! Things work out if it's meant to be i have accepted that!!!
Sometimes I get confused about what is stated on the forum and it is best to take people
at their face value till you learn that you can not. Often people hint at things and you may
need to have it said perfectly clear. Just some thoughts here Comet. One thing leads to another.
I thought about starting a separate subject called boundaries but than realized that your
title oooops! covers it perfectly! HaHa
I get confused at times too or read the post wrong! Hard to tell how people are feeling on the internet! LOL on the Opps!!
Its a strange thing Comet but lately I have found that the boundaries that people put up have told me so much about them
that I was fortunate that the boundaries they set were there.... I may
have otherwise been a part of their personal nite mares. The more boundaries they had--the more one dimensional their thinking. And ...the more crazy they are as a result!
For me (not that it need apply to others)-- I try being spontaneous about relationships and remain open to the unexpected. I can always set boundaries along the way if they are necessary but I wouldn't want my personal problems from the past to limit relationships in the present because of boundaries which have no relevance to present situations. I would rather give people
the benefit of the doubt. Every situation is a new one. Just when we think we've got it figured out someone comes along to give
a new twist on things.
Jitendra
