Yogananda offered that
"Anger arises from thwarted desires."
Thwarted means we attached to "expectations of a specific outcome", and were let down when it did not happen that way.
I continue to strive to understanding how to stop the cycle -- that attachment...
1). It seems perfectly natural to have an "expectation",
-- having an expectation does not seem contrary to Truth or Harmony - not at least on it's own,
I think this because God's Creation (this Universe) is ruled by LAW of cause and effect,
and God gave us a mind and reason and such to see "possibilities",
and even see the "probability" of a specific "possibility" arriving outwardly in events.
(I.E. - to expect)
2). It seems the issue is with "attaching" and "specific"
(not remaining pliable and flowing)...
{ this "attachment to a specific outcome" is what gets me... it is what sets me up for the rollercoaster ride ! }
For example, if someone cuts me off in traffic,
Do my thoughts and emotions boil up ?
Do I send 'dagger eyes', bad vibes their way, and bring up a wall of seperation ?
Do I have to understand why -- because sometimes it seems best to give the "why" to "God"... and not think we have to bring some justice by our reaction on the road, etc.
BUT Yogananda also advises that we should not be a door mat -- do not "bite", doesn't mean we shouldn't "hiss" in a measured manner.
&&&&&&&&&&&&
do we simply say,
"God, you are expressing in that one... I don't have to understand why, but goodness what a show, what a fuss! "
"Maybe they are a clock worker trying to get to work, or to pick up a child, or distracted by a headache, or work issue..."
Do we think how tough it must be for that person to live in their own close-looped energy ? ( I used to experience mild road rage and more aggressive driving -- it's a terrible place to be -- I remember it made me unhappy to be like that... )
But when it comes down to it... we have to guard ourselves -- and God will move us away from those persons and situation that are not resonate (i.e. - that are negative). We do not, and should not be a door mat... compassion for one's center is also very much a core path...
Anyways,, just sharing some of my life's observations...
Cheers,
Most of us have to deal with anger sometime in our life.
We may not express anger outwardly yet we are very aware that is is arising within.
It is due to frustrated desire. So how do we deal with frustrated desire?
Many times in life things are not going to go the way we would like them to.
This is part of the reason we are with other people; God has put us all together
and then said; "now let's see how you get along"?
Some people express their anger differently of course. As a matter of fact sometimes we find that people will take
a very different course of action because of their anger . To satisfy themselves that they are
not angry it is because of the person they feel who created difficulties that they have taken this covert action.
This sureptitious action only complicates the relationship further.
What webs we weave for our selves that entangle ourselves.
So how do we confront our own anger? Perhaps one of the best ways is to be patient
With ourselves and at the same time expressing ourselves because otherwiise
we will be like a hot pan of water with a lid on it: Ready to bubble over at anytime.
Like usual meditation is a good way to distance ourselves from anger because we observe
our feelings rather than getting embroiled in them. Yet we still need to communicate with
the other person we are angry with. We do not dissolve karma by treating others cold,
leaving them or expressing overt anger towards them. Karma between two
individuals exists because of a close relationship developed in the past.
We may think we can dissolve our feelings by taking convoluted actions
but eventually they will catch up to us.
Jitendra
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else.
You are the one who gets burned.
Buddha
Going back to these post is nice. I’ve been festering and having trouble letting go. At least now I can momentarily dissolve this ruminating and wicked impressions by understanding anger from a detached perspective. See I’ve been trying to rationalize things but I don’t think I was finding any solution because my ego gets in the picture, which is so easy to do when you are so closely involved with another. Then I go back to what the monk told me about meeting my soul mate and possibly losing the relationship if I don’t let go of my anger. I can’t say if I’ve met my soul mate yet or, if there even is such a thing but it makes me happy to read your advice with exercising patience. I don’t want to be resentful or feel lonely and I don’t want to care about a falling out. I know you suggested talking it out with the other party but there’s a time and a place for everything. Me personally I’m ready for the independence without the heartache lol. when the time comes I don’t want to run someone away because we had a bad falling out. And I mean that with most of my friends who have decided to leave or friends I may make down the road. Don’t mean to digress too much or sound ungrateful for my current situation... getting healthy again in the meantime and it’s wonderul- this post is just to say that I get bothered every now and then and haven’t been able to let go of anger or whatever other negative attributes I’ve concluded to be ego. I say some of it is healthy but then there’s holding on for to long
Shrug
