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Control in relationships

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Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?
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« on: Jul 27, 2019 11:28 am »

We have all heard the phrase; taking control of our lives. How much do we try to control the lives of others in the process? It seems to me we are in control of very little and the more we try to control; the more we loose the spontaneity that comes with being receptive to divine guidance and divine order. Sometimes we can do nothing but wait; if something is meant to happen it will. At other times we feel inspired to take action which comes from a spiritual understanding of events.

Some people we meet may have a tremendous desire to control their circumstances and the people in their lives. I have found that such people easily get angered when  they cannot control circumstances. Often we may have to let them and their anger go so we ourselves can remain open to more productive life opportunities. Perhaps they have lost control in their childhood and so now they desire to control everything around them. Possibly what they need to do is stop blaming  others but start recognizing they themselves have experienced their own karma from past lives.
« Last Edit: Jul 27, 2019 02:36 pm by Steve Hydonus » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #1 on: Jul 27, 2019 07:45 pm »

I met a Buddhist monk once who told me I would meet my soul mate in this life but lose her if I couldn't control my anger issues. I'm not sure I understand the idea of soul-mate because any souls engaged with another have something to offer- we all belong to Spirit. Certainly I had anger issues and propelled our separation as a consequence. Meeting Amma, Gurunath and other spiritually anchored friends and teachers who have guided me to meditation and peace have helped me realize there's no sense in trying to control the things we can't control. I do continue to battle to guide my consciousness to the desired reality and make an effort to no longer allow those who are angry to rob me of my peace. Similarly, I try not to let those who are close to me upset me when they respond to situations differently than me. A lot has changed since our separation and I know our falling out has given me so much more after the fact, I don't know what the future holds but having been on the other side of your post- being the one who was at one point easily disturbed by those closest to me, I can say pain and separation is a healthy medicine sometimes.

Meditation, prayer and faith will guide one to better outcomes. Having to drive in a busy city regularly I've my fair share of distraught drivers but now I back off instead of engage- they have to carry on with the attitude until they find their own resolve, we don't have to let their anger jeopardize our well being or our driving abilities. It seems obvious but being in the thick of it and being able to think back on this example will help keep you aware when there's friction in a more intimate relationship.

The best advice I've been given is to create peace within, and to extend it to the household. If you live with others, strive to maintain peace in your house- this does not mean to control others... It means to be aware of your surroundings and yourself- you can control things happening in your life successfully with a right attitude.
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« Reply #2 on: Jul 28, 2019 05:50 am »

Eric; I must say that I am with you on this soul mate issue. At this time in my life I am more of the opinion that we do not really have one mate that goes thru incarnations trying to find us as we try to find them. I never heard of any of the Masters specifically speak of soulmates. Not saying that I know but I have heard of Paramahansa Yogananda speaking of meeting so many mother fathers sisters brothers friends marriage partners and lovers from previous lives in the higher astral realms that it becomes confusing. It is probably more true that we have been in love with many people throughout incarnations and all the different love we are experiencing through others is helping us expand our own. In this social milieu of cellphones and the internet we are already discovering many people who we could love in various ways.  I mean I can’t really imagine an Amma or Paramahansa Yogananda looking for their soulmate. They are the emobodiment of love and do not need to seek it elsewhere.

For me personally, getting angry 😡 , as I have at times seen it in others is a thing of the distant past. Why? Because I have had so many years meditating and whatching my reactions that I see this body over here named Steve responding to various stimuli rather than reacting to it. At times I am now learning the best response to someone else’s anger is often no response but rather exiting the situation in any way possible to avoid escalating the other persons anger.

I suppose you could make a case for me being angry at Donald Trump or a credit card company that put me in an uncomfortable position. I think that my reaction to such situations is consternation to my own lack of understanding at the big picture. I am more of the opinion that I just do not understand why we or I are in a difficult position and more or less endure it with patience and still recognizing that at times we do have a moral obligation to express something when faced with energies that are counter to our souls and other souls progress..
« Last Edit: Jul 28, 2019 06:26 am by Steve Hydonus » Report Spam   Logged

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Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?
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« Reply #3 on: Mar 03, 2020 11:28 am »

Sometimes it’s just nice to enjoy something and someone else’s company without trying to control it, own it or direct its navigation.
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« Reply #4 on: Mar 03, 2020 10:08 pm »

gosh steve, you're so controlling!   Tongue
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« Reply #5 on: Mar 05, 2020 07:29 am »

gosh steve, you're so controlling!   Tongue

It’s freaky to be in control of a train that’s out of control!
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stevehydonus@aol.com
For CD\'s of music by Steve or hydonus@yahoo.com
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« Reply #6 on: Mar 06, 2020 07:57 pm »

you're the mad conductor taking us home!

 Cheesy

just want to tell you i am joking of course, you have been one of the more accepting people i've experienced in this life. thank you for your kindness.
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« Reply #7 on: Mar 08, 2020 07:31 am »

It is probably best to be able to laugh at oneself despite what others say or intend to say. Taking oneself too seriously is the easiest way to spot ego. Thanks 😊 in that moment I could see how attached I am and how important it is to have some friends. I have found the best things in life are not easily let go they usually fade away if that is what is needed.
« Last Edit: Mar 08, 2020 07:38 am by Steve Hydonus » Report Spam   Logged

God Christ Gurus musical sample creations:
https://youtu.be/PU9157Esq-4 Hidden Springs

https://youtu.be/CQgAybAlVO0
Silent Voice Within
https://www.reverbnation.com/stevehydonus
stevehydonus@aol.com
For CD\'s of music by Steve or hydonus@yahoo.com

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