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Title: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Dec 03, 2012 03:09 am Most of us have to deal with anger sometime in our life.
We may not express anger outwardly yet we are very aware that is is arising within. It is due to frustrated desire. So how do we deal with frustrated desire? Many times in life things are not going to go the way we would like them to. This is part of the reason we are with other people; God has put us all together and then said; "now let's see how you get along"? Some people express their anger differently of course. As a matter of fact sometimes we find that people will take a very different course of action because of their anger . To satisfy themselves that they are not angry it is because of the person they feel who created difficulties that they have taken this covert action. This sureptitious action only complicates the relationship further. What webs we weave for our selves that entangle ourselves. So how do we confront our own anger? Perhaps one of the best ways is to be patient With ourselves and at the same time expressing ourselves because otherwiise we will be like a hot pan of water with a lid on it: Ready to bubble over at anytime. Like usual meditation is a good way to distance ourselves from anger because we observe our feelings rather than getting embroiled in them. Yet we still need to communicate with the other person we are angry with. We do not dissolve karma by treating others cold, leaving them or expressing overt anger towards them. Karma between two individuals exists because of a close relationship developed in the past. We may think we can dissolve our feelings by taking convoluted actions but eventually they will catch up to us. Jitendra Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned. Buddha Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Dec 03, 2012 05:17 pm Recently someone told me they had not seen me for a long time because of somethings that were
said. i find it amazing that people will hold in ill feelings for so long, to others, and not express them. This is a form of anger held inside, directed internally, and is toxic to the self. When we learn to express ourselves constructively we absolve ourselves of these negative emotions. Thanks for your replies dragonpie. Steve Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Apr 22, 2013 06:33 pm How do we deal with our own anger? We do not beat ouselves up for it.
We just notice it. We witness it. Everytime we see it rising its ugly face we get better and better at facing and recognizing it. We find better ways to express ourselves when we feel anger. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Apr 23, 2013 08:59 pm Yogananda offered that "Anger arises from thwarted desires." Thwarted means we attached to "expectations of a specific outinthe balls.ome", and were let down when it did not happen that way. I continue to strive to understanding how to stop the cycle -- that attachment... 1). It seems perfectly natural to have an "expectation", -- having an expectation does not seem contrary to Truth or Harmony - not at least on it's own, I think this because God's Creation (this Universe) is ruled by LAW of cause and effect, and God gave us a mind and reason and such to see "possibilities", and even see the "probability" of a specific "possibility" arriving outwardly in events. (I.E. - to expect) 2). It seems the issue is with "attaching" and "specific" (not remaining pliable and flowing)... { this "attachment to a specific outcome" is what gets me... it is what sets me up for the rollercoaster ride ! } For example, if someone cuts me off in traffic, Do my thoughts and emotions boil up ? Do I send 'dagger eyes', bad vibes their way, and bring up a wall of seperation ? Do I have to understand why -- because sometimes it seems best to give the "why" to "God"... and not think we have to bring some justice by our reaction on the road, etc. BUT Yogananda also advises that we should not be a door mat -- do not "bite", doesn't mean we shouldn't "hiss" in a measured manner. &&&&&&&&&&&& do we simply say, "God, you are expressing in that one... I don't have to understand why, but goodness what a show, what a fuss! " "Maybe they are a clock worker trying to get to work, or to pick up a child, or distracted by a headache, or work issue..." Do we think how tough it must be for that person to live in their own close-looped energy ? ( I used to experience mild road rage and more aggressive driving -- it's a terrible place to be -- I remember it made me unhappy to be like that... ) But when it comes down to it... we have to guard ourselves -- and God will move us away from those persons and situation that are not resonate (i.e. - that are negative). We do not, and should not be a door mat... compassion for one's center is also very much a core path... Anyways,, just sharing some of my life's observations... Cheers, Namaste2All it is so nice to have your recent presence here. I do not know if it was partially out of perception. If it was your sensitivity was right on. As you would say: What's up with this|that? And recently I have felt the same myself: What's up with this? Sometimes the presence of friends couldn't be more timely. I am happy to see that you have brought up some points about thwarted desire and expectations creating anger.i wonder though when the Indians were forcibly massacered and driven from their homes... can we say that anger arose out of thwarted desire and expectations? I mean if someone (God forbid) came into your house raped your wife while u were tied up and being kicked in the balls....Would anger arrise out of thwarted desire and expectations? that caused your anger? Or should we be at peace with the situation? I am giving an extreme example to understand if and when anger is justified. Perhaps u or I would not feel anger but most of us would feel something and how do we deal wth that something when it occurs. I think that some of us have felt such feelings on the forum and even toward each other. These are not easy questions to answer. My thought is to explore and not ignore feelings so we can come to better understanding of y we and others respond and act as they do when placed in situations that can cause such escalated reactions; whether these actions come from anger some other emotion or mixed emotions. Many of us have learned much about managing anger and finding ways to eliminate it from our lives. Yet there is a close relative to anger. It is irritation. We often witness this in our friends and even perhaps moreso in ourselves. If exposed to more challenging circumstances irritation can escalate into anger. So for me I am always trying to be aware of my irritations and nip them in the bud. In.divine friendship Jitendra Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Apr 24, 2013 04:00 pm Hello Nomaste
The Master offers another definition. of anger to the one you mentioned about thwarted desire. It comes from lesson 33 The Chemistry of Feelings He says that anger is usually awakened when one's own or another's interest is hurt. The chemical combination of violent anger plus self~interest or selfishness causes a psychological explosion ending in hysterics or some dangerous act. Anger plus greed and dissipation makes for recklessness, satiety, and indifference. Anger plus devotion to a religious cause--if tempered with reason--produces some definite result for good in the world. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Comet on Apr 26, 2013 10:28 pm How do we deal with our own anger? We do not beat ouselves up for it. We just notice it. We witness it. Everytime we see it rising its ugly face we get better and better at facing and recognizing it. We find better ways to express ourselves when we feel anger. This is true!! Kinda where i am at i can get frustrated with this situation i am in and i am starting to recognize my own frustration and anger and trying to figure out how to shift it so i don't take my frustration out on others! Good thing i live alone!! LOL Now that i am out walking and working at PT on my own i am feeling better and learning to express myself when i feel frustrated and angry!! I am also learning to deal with my emotions better too i never been a real emotional person so i am starting to learn how to work through all this!! Starting to feel more at peace!! :) Title: How do we deal with anger in others? Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Nov 12, 2013 02:17 pm Holding on to anger is like grasping :-o a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who will get burned. Buddha
I have been talking with a friend about dealing with anger in others because we encountered anger in someone else. It is interesting because many times you cannot say anything because someone that is angry is often 'looking for a fight'. So often you have to leave the beast to its own cage. Saying much of anything can draw you in to the beasts cage of anger. Sometimes it is better to let the beast to itself for time out. Leaving to another room or out of the house or car for a time may be the best solution. If it occurs on the internet, ignoring it, or if it causes troubles with others: leaving temporarily may be wiser. You may not be in a position to do anything and doing nothing may have a better outcome. Many times people think their anger is justified. It rarely changes anything for the better. Anger is like a forest fire: it burns everything in its path and destroys relationships. How do you deal with the anger you see in others and yourself? Title: Re: Anger Post by: guest88 on Nov 14, 2013 03:32 am steve good question ! i don't know
sometimes it's easier then others and sometimes it's almost begging you to give in to your anger like a creative expression yearning to escape and experience even though later you may regret, in the moment, there is a weird sense of pleasure when you give in to your anger but i don't recommend giving into anger it often means playing the fool and hurting yourself, others and your relationships arghhhh!!! Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Nov 15, 2013 06:11 am Whether anger takes place on a forum, in a room or an oudoor event: it seems to me the best way to deal with it is to give it time out unless there appears an immediate solution at hand. Because people that are angry usually are picking to start a fight and to draw those around them into their anger. Usually no one wins these fights and everyone looses.
Anger creates fire in the atmosphere. :o The vibrations are so anti-spiritual that it takes quite a while to reestablish a peaceful environment. For those sensitive to vibrations it is like a lightning bolt striking into your being. Avoid angry people and situations. If you are fortunate to see anger developing, change the subject if this does not work-leave. Come back another time if you care about the person enough to do so. Let them know-not through confrontation-that you do not want to be a part of their anger. We have a spiritual immune system. Gathering peace in our pail of meditation helps us be immune from the fall of anger. To never practice peace and meditattion is to be opened up to evil forces that slip into our consciosness and manifest as angry spirits. Like a drug; anger may show somethings about your hidden supressions.Yet it is like taking a plant and pulling it from its roots. You 'see' the roots but the plant looses its divine expression. It becomes lifeless. Anger arises from thwarted desire. Title: Re: Anger Post by: guest88 on Feb 24, 2016 08:54 pm i got angry last night and gave into it and got other people involved. it was a mess, i was pretty foolish
growing up my mom and sister used to tell me i have anger problems a buddhist monk told me i have deep-seeded anger issues that may cause me to lose those closest to me admitting i have an anger problem has been hard to face, im usually quite content and find it difficult to pin point the origins of the anger. holding it in though doesn't necessarily help and not doing anything makes me feel weak thus a momentary satisfaction in lashing out followed by some regret recognizing this is a step but not sure what more to do other then try to regain control which can be hard to do sometimes i know i need more discipline which i'm practicing Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Feb 25, 2016 02:06 am Since I started this path my anger outbursts have been drastically reduced.
I'm not sure what kind of advice I have, except the last time it happened to me I felt so much different afterwards, (it really broke my serenity I was working on), there was a lot of energy in my head, but it was not the kind I wanted, but if I remember at that point I tried to expel it as it seemed it was something inside of me that at that point in time, since it was there within my grasp, I could then try to cast it out. I also take indian ginseng almost every day, great relaxer but adds energy as well. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Feb 25, 2016 06:43 am Since I started this path my anger outbursts have been drastically reduced. I'm not sure what kind of advice I have, except the last time it happened to me I felt so much different afterwards, (it really broke my serenity I was working on), there was a lot of energy in my head, but it was not the kind I wanted, but if I remember at that point I tried to expel it as it seemed it was something inside of me that at that point in time, since it was there within my grasp, I could then try to cast it out. I also take indian ginseng almost every day, great relaxer but adds energy as well. I've been draztically reduced meself. Best guess is when izza all gone....Den i will be what i was meant to b. Will ya join me on this joy ride? Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Feb 25, 2016 08:10 am seems something is missing, is the post ghost at it again?
Title: Re: Anger Post by: mccoy on Feb 25, 2016 08:37 am There is the anger which manifests in sudden violent outbursts and there is the anger which simmers, invisible to all, lingering in your brain, consuming the whole being. Guess which is the worse one...
Mind control is the only strategy, especially in the 2nd case. My outbursts used to be rare, now there are nearly no outbursts at all, wonder if ti is age increasing and testosterone decreasing. But I was subject to the simmering kind for a while and it was very hard to control. Only mental detachment and analysis won it. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Feb 25, 2016 08:52 am seems something is missing, is the post ghost at it again? Not i said the fly mysteriously. Title: Re: Anger Post by: b on Feb 25, 2016 10:34 am I plead guilty to deleting many of my old posts. I find myself reading embarrassing tirades and vain sermons I have written. It is a humbling experience to read old posts, for sure. But I also find myself having the power to delete them from the public domain. I hope no one is offended by me taking advantage of the opportunity. The posts I chose to delete offered nothing of value, in my opinion, to the forum. Instead they were mostly undigested thoughts that got spewed. As a global moderator, I took some actions. 8)
Title: Re: Anger Post by: b on Feb 25, 2016 10:48 am Anger is hard to overcome. Everyone here is presumably following a spiritual path or at least considering one. I think we can reasonably expect anger to go as a result, eventually. But I think we should also be patient with ourselves in the meantime. The fact that you have reflected on what happened and realized that you might rather have done differently is probably a very good sign.
I'm sure many of us can say that we are right there with you. :D Title: Re: Anger Post by: guest88 on Feb 25, 2016 11:35 pm I plead guilty to deleting many of my old posts. I find myself reading embarrassing tirades and vain sermons I have written. It is a humbling experience to read old posts, for sure. But I also find myself having the power to delete them from the public domain. I hope no one is offended by me taking advantage of the opportunity. The posts I chose to delete offered nothing of value, in my opinion, to the forum. Instead they were mostly undigested thoughts that got spewed. As a global moderator, I took some actions. 8) hey b! nothing wrong with that. thanks for fillin us in- no offense taken. i liked your thoughts though but we have the freedom to, so why not? thanks for the reminder 8) Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Feb 26, 2016 01:43 am did you change your username or have you always been here?
Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Feb 26, 2016 01:49 am I've been draztically reduced meself. Best guess is when izza all gone....Den i will be what i was meant to b. Will ya join me on this joy ride? Sometimes it's hard to tell, this all may just be another attempt at distraction, even subconsciously. Title: Re: Anger Post by: b on Feb 26, 2016 02:58 am I've been draztically reduced meself. Best guess is when izza all gone....Den i will be what i was meant to b. Will ya join me on this joy ride? Sometimes it's hard to tell, this all may just be another attempt at distraction, even subconsciously. You have a point there. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Feb 26, 2016 04:45 am Are you guys conspiracy theorists or psychologists? Haven't quite nailed it yet.
I've been draztically reduced meself. Best guess is when izza all gone....Den i will be what i was meant to b. Will ya join me on this joy ride? Sometimes it's hard to tell, this all may just be another attempt at distraction, even subconsciously. You have a point there. Title: Re: Anger Post by: guest58 on Feb 26, 2016 04:49 am What me angry? Only at family reunions when relatives gather from all around to to be reminded why they scattered in the first place. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Feb 26, 2016 03:25 pm There is the anger which manifests in sudden violent outbursts and there is the anger which simmers, invisible to all, lingering in your brain, consuming the whole being. Guess which is the worse one... Mind control is the only strategy, especially in the 2nd case. My outbursts used to be rare, now there are nearly no outbursts at all, wonder if ti is age increasing and testosterone decreasing. But I was subject to the simmering kind for a while and it was very hard to control. Only mental detachment and analysis won it. i think the absence of anger comes from years of spiritual practice. Observing ourselves and our reactions to circumstances helps tremendously. The more we see this life for what it is and the less we get caught all up in it the less we react angrily to it. Meditation practice helps us observe our reactions; our body functioning and our emotions. After years of practice we are so use to watching ourselves that we immediately recognize reactions that are unhealthy to ourselves and destroy relationships. We cannot control other peoples reactions but we can b in control of our own. i can relate to mccoys idea of mental detachment. Detachment to our bodily reactions to our emotions and to the behavior of those we meet is a continuing spiritual practice that does not stop with the control of anger. When we sit in silence we even remind ourselves to detach ourselves from our thoughts. If there r no thoughts and only the joy of what is behind our thoughts... how is there anything to b angry about? That joy starts slipping thru into all our activities and anger is no longer part of our lives. It has helped me tremendously to have a guru who has shown me over and over what i need to work on. Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Feb 27, 2016 08:03 am Are you guys conspiracy theorists or psychologists? Haven't quite nailed it yet. Well for me I guess it's mostly better safe than sorry. Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Feb 27, 2016 08:07 am My outbursts used to be rare, now there are nearly no outbursts at all, wonder if ti is age increasing and testosterone decreasing. It seems to me a lot of older folks are more mellow, laugh easier, live simpler, and many of them don't practice spirituality at all. Is it just figuring out after so many years of experience that caving works better than fighting? Title: Re: Anger Post by: mccoy on Feb 27, 2016 05:22 pm It seems to me a lot of older folks are more mellow, laugh easier, live simpler, and many of them don't practice spirituality at all. Is it just figuring out after so many years of experience that caving works better than fighting? It may well be that old age supplies wisdom Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Feb 27, 2016 11:39 pm The emotions that do most damage to the nerves are fear, worry and anger. Worry and anger affect the brain as well as the rest of.. the body and lesson brain power and general efficiency. Every time you become angry or afraid you generate the secretion of poison in the body. Its caustic effect may ultimately burn out the nerves.
~~ Paramahansa Yogananda Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Feb 28, 2016 03:55 am Are you guys conspiracy theorists or psychologists? Haven't quite nailed it yet. Well for me I guess it's mostly better safe than sorry. i know u r usually kidding around SI but if there is something u really want to know about u can ask me. Somethings r better left for conversations on the phone. Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Mar 01, 2016 08:53 pm Title: Re: Anger Post by: guest88 on Mar 01, 2016 09:27 pm and you think we are OLD? lol!!! ;D ;) :D
Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Mar 02, 2016 03:39 am i know u r usually kidding around SI but if there is something u really want to know about u can ask me. Somethings r better left for conversations on the phone. I wasn't really asking about anything, you mentioned if we were conspiracy theorists or psychologists. I hope I'm not. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Mar 15, 2016 06:44 am i got angry last night and gave into it and got other people involved. it was a mess, i was pretty foolish growing up my mom and sister used to tell me i have anger problems a buddhist monk told me i have deep-seeded anger issues that may cause me to lose those closest to me admitting i have an anger problem has been hard to face, im usually quite content and find it difficult to pin point the origins of the anger. holding it in though doesn't necessarily help and not doing anything makes me feel weak thus a momentary satisfaction in lashing out followed by some regret recognizing this is a step but not sure what more to do other then try to regain control which can be hard to do sometimes i know i need more discipline which i'm practicing i have found some very admirable qualities about you over the years. Very few people are able to identify and admit their own imperfections and then do so publicly. Very few people i have met have a enduring sense of seeing the good in others and having faith in others even though 'those others' may not be acting in a spiritual or kind manner. In this sense i take refuge in your vibrations and i am fortunate to have you/them with me. There are many things we are working on Eric.... sometimes all our lives. We all have our crosses to bear... our 'demons' to exorcise. You are just more honest about it. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Jun 18, 2016 05:22 pm Since I started this path my anger outbursts have been drastically reduced. I'm not sure what kind of advice I have, except the last time it happened to me I felt so much different afterwards, (it really broke my serenity I was working on), there was a lot of energy in my head, but it was not the kind I wanted, but if I remember at that point I tried to expel it as it seemed it was something inside of me that at that point in time, since it was there within my grasp, I could then try to cast it out. I also take indian ginseng almost every day, great relaxer but adds energy as well. Small irritations often lead to bad moods and anger. i agree with u SI...After we have been on the path for sometime anger outbursts r not only reduced but eventually they r completely eliminated. We then become more and more in tune with the small fluctuations of emotions and irritations in ourselves and others. These r all detriments to our spiritual practice and cause emotional turmoil and irritations in our meditation practice as well. If we analyze ourselves and others we become aware that these challenges occur most often because of living too much on the sense plane. People usually gravitate towards irritable angry and moody people or away from them because of their own self control or lack of self control. After a while we learn to avoid such types to protect our own spiritual development. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Jun 26, 2016 03:30 am Anger is like a forest fire-- it destroys everything in its path.... friendship, love, affection, peace of mind---- everything.
Title: Re: Anger Post by: guest88 on Jun 26, 2016 08:57 am hello steve
ty for such kind words... -:) cheers friend Title: Re: Anger Post by: kingfisher111 on Jun 26, 2016 08:52 pm I like what Thich Nhat Hanh says about anger. To try to love it, like a child.
Anyway, acceptance of emotions and awareness is definitely the first step, and you should be glad when you can do that. Maybe you find something useful in his words on the matter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeMYRCv2Kmc Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Jun 27, 2016 08:49 pm hello steve ty for such kind words... -:) cheers friend Amma says that every emotion has a vibration. If a man is 😠 angry with his wife....she in turn passes that anger to the children and the children spread that vibration to their classmates. Title: Re: Anger Post by: SI on Jun 28, 2016 07:36 am Amma says that every emotion has a vibration. If a man is 😠 angry with his wife....she in turn passes that anger to the children and the children spread that vibration to their classmates. We know this, if you're angry it permeates the air, it changes the vibe, others can change because of it. You have the power to make the situation go the way you want. Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Jun 29, 2016 09:30 pm I just hope we can remain friends with others and our friendship grows. My hope is to not burn 🔥 bridges. But one match can cause a forest fire.....and so anger can cause unimaginable damage to relationships of all kinds.
Title: Re: Anger Post by: ding dong on Jun 29, 2016 10:15 pm lol
Title: Re: Anger Post by: Jitendra Hydonus on Oct 23, 2016 11:43 am I like what Thich Nhat Hanh says about anger. To try to love it, like a child. Anyway, acceptance of emotions and awareness is definitely the first step, and you should be glad when you can do that. Maybe you find something useful in his words on the matter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeMYRCv2Kmc Art When I first listened to this I did not recognize that only the questions were in a different language but when Thich Nhat Hanh answered he spoke in English. This topic is a very important one for people experiencing anger and for those needing to develop compassion. I believe that there are some very good answers here. I intend on spending more time listening again! Steve Hydonus P.S. you may also enjoy the video below. When we have anger we suffer. It is compassion to recognize such suffering in others. When someone is angry they cannot be happy. It is for us to listen. If we are happy we will not return anger for anger. We will have an entirely different approach. We will give compassion. If we do not have compassion to give we can start developing it. There is a time we cannot agree with others and may even have to stand up and resist their ignorance. However we do not have to do so with anger but as a witness of our own behavior mindful of the fact that we at times must remain firm in our stance but always ready to listen to others...their pain their suffering... their anger. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WTF9xgqLIvI Title: Re: Anger Post by: guest88 on Oct 24, 2016 06:06 pm Quote P.S. you may also enjoy the video below. When we have anger we suffer. It is compassion to recognize such suffering in others. When someone is angry they cannot be happy. It is for us to listen. If we are happy we will not return anger for anger. We will have an entirely different approach. We will give compassion. If we do not have compassion to give we can start developing it. There is a time we cannot agree with others and may even have to stand up and resist their ignorance. However we do not have to do so with anger but as a witness of our own behavior mindful of the fact that we at times must remain firm in our stance but always ready to listen to others...their pain their suffering... their anger. Great video. Great conclusions. Thank you. I can attest to this, that is, I live this every day when encountering angry people driving on the road. Some days my mood is so good when I witness an angry driver on the road and they choose to interact I simply get out of their way and not think twice on it. Other days, my mood is more cynical- my ego is large... when the same thing happens I will laugh at them or even give them their anger right back by putting on a show- hoping to excite them more so. It takes a great discipline to master compassion and a greater drive to cultivate a sense of everlasting peace. Thanks friend! Title: Re: Anger Post by: the 10 moods of dr. kook on Oct 25, 2016 03:52 am Quote P.S. you may also enjoy the video below. When we have anger we suffer. It is compassion to recognize such suffering in others. When someone is angry they cannot be happy. It is for us to listen. If we are happy we will not return anger for anger. We will have an entirely different approach. We will give compassion. If we do not have compassion to give we can start developing it. There is a time we cannot agree with others and may even have to stand up and resist their ignorance. However we do not have to do so with anger but as a witness of our own behavior mindful of the fact that we at times must remain firm in our stance but always ready to listen to others...their pain their suffering... their anger. Great video. Great conclusions. Thank you. I can attest to this, that is, I live this every day when encountering angry people driving on the road. Some days my mood is so good when I witness an angry driver on the road and they choose to interact I simply get out of their way and not think twice on it. Other days, my mood is more cynical- my ego is large... when the same thing happens I will laugh at them or even give them their anger right back by putting on a show- hoping to excite them more so. It takes a great discipline to master compassion and a greater drive to cultivate a sense of everlasting peace. Thanks friend! Your comments made me smile I know there have being many times that other cars want to mate with me from behind. I slow down to let them. Although their enthusiasm seems to extinguish quickly as I slow down for copulation. What do you think Eric? Maybe they recognize just because I have light colored long hair doesn't mean I'm a woman and then there are the females who do it also. Perhaps I shouldn't attempt an explanation....just let them get up close to get a good look and shine them the moon. I'm not paranoid but my suspicions are confirmed. Like Trump I'm just a well liked man! Dear Dr. Kook, Is it paranoia when your suspicions are confirmed? Title: Re: Anger Post by: guest88 on Dec 19, 2017 06:44 am Yogananda offered that "Anger arises from thwarted desires." Thwarted means we attached to "expectations of a specific outcome", and were let down when it did not happen that way. I continue to strive to understanding how to stop the cycle -- that attachment... 1). It seems perfectly natural to have an "expectation", -- having an expectation does not seem contrary to Truth or Harmony - not at least on it's own, I think this because God's Creation (this Universe) is ruled by LAW of cause and effect, and God gave us a mind and reason and such to see "possibilities", and even see the "probability" of a specific "possibility" arriving outwardly in events. (I.E. - to expect) 2). It seems the issue is with "attaching" and "specific" (not remaining pliable and flowing)... { this "attachment to a specific outcome" is what gets me... it is what sets me up for the rollercoaster ride ! } For example, if someone cuts me off in traffic, Do my thoughts and emotions boil up ? Do I send 'dagger eyes', bad vibes their way, and bring up a wall of seperation ? Do I have to understand why -- because sometimes it seems best to give the "why" to "God"... and not think we have to bring some justice by our reaction on the road, etc. BUT Yogananda also advises that we should not be a door mat -- do not "bite", doesn't mean we shouldn't "hiss" in a measured manner. &&&&&&&&&&&& do we simply say, "God, you are expressing in that one... I don't have to understand why, but goodness what a show, what a fuss! " "Maybe they are a clock worker trying to get to work, or to pick up a child, or distracted by a headache, or work issue..." Do we think how tough it must be for that person to live in their own close-looped energy ? ( I used to experience mild road rage and more aggressive driving -- it's a terrible place to be -- I remember it made me unhappy to be like that... ) But when it comes down to it... we have to guard ourselves -- and God will move us away from those persons and situation that are not resonate (i.e. - that are negative). We do not, and should not be a door mat... compassion for one's center is also very much a core path... Anyways,, just sharing some of my life's observations... Cheers, Most of us have to deal with anger sometime in our life. We may not express anger outwardly yet we are very aware that is is arising within. It is due to frustrated desire. So how do we deal with frustrated desire? Many times in life things are not going to go the way we would like them to. This is part of the reason we are with other people; God has put us all together and then said; "now let's see how you get along"? Some people express their anger differently of course. As a matter of fact sometimes we find that people will take a very different course of action because of their anger . To satisfy themselves that they are not angry it is because of the person they feel who created difficulties that they have taken this covert action. This sureptitious action only complicates the relationship further. What webs we weave for our selves that entangle ourselves. So how do we confront our own anger? Perhaps one of the best ways is to be patient With ourselves and at the same time expressing ourselves because otherwiise we will be like a hot pan of water with a lid on it: Ready to bubble over at anytime. Like usual meditation is a good way to distance ourselves from anger because we observe our feelings rather than getting embroiled in them. Yet we still need to communicate with the other person we are angry with. We do not dissolve karma by treating others cold, leaving them or expressing overt anger towards them. Karma between two individuals exists because of a close relationship developed in the past. We may think we can dissolve our feelings by taking convoluted actions but eventually they will catch up to us. Jitendra Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned. Buddha Going back to these post is nice. I’ve been festering and having trouble letting go. At least now I can momentarily dissolve this ruminating and wicked impressions by understanding anger from a detached perspective. See I’ve been trying to rationalize things but I don’t think I was finding any solution because my ego gets in the picture, which is so easy to do when you are so closely involved with another. Then I go back to what the monk told me about meeting my soul mate and possibly losing the relationship if I don’t let go of my anger. I can’t say if I’ve met my soul mate yet or, if there even is such a thing but it makes me happy to read your advice with exercising patience. I don’t want to be resentful or feel lonely and I don’t want to care about a falling out. I know you suggested talking it out with the other party but there’s a time and a place for everything. Me personally I’m ready for the independence without the heartache lol. when the time comes I don’t want to run someone away because we had a bad falling out. And I mean that with most of my friends who have decided to leave or friends I may make down the road. Don’t mean to digress too much or sound ungrateful for my current situation... getting healthy again in the meantime and it’s wonderul- this post is just to say that I get bothered every now and then and haven’t been able to let go of anger or whatever other negative attributes I’ve concluded to be ego. I say some of it is healthy but then there’s holding on for to long ??? Shrug |