Signs you are in a stable relationship

[Jitendra Hydonus]

https://www.theknot.com/content/stable-relationship

Life's ups and downs are bound to impact even the happiest relationships ( no matter what type of relationships they may be ) —but how you handle the low points separates a stable relationship from a toxic one. Isn’t it important to recognize that duality is a factor affecting all areas of life and relationships of all types; friends, lovers and even acquaintances?

I see that such qualities as cognitive dissonance and fundamental attribution errors as well as other factors I brought up in the psychology section - under the heading ‘Dharma’ here at the portal - affect either positively or negatively relationships of all sorts in our lives.

It seems to me that if we have common values with others we can maintain a relationship with them. But some people, including leaders of nations, are of the opinion that ‘if you don’t have my values you are an enemy’ this shows a rather immature attitude towards other people, and lack of spiritual understanding, towards those we meet and see on the world stage today.

I am of the belief that we often have to decide whether that people we meet are willing and able to take sufficient risks and efforts to gain relationships and keep them going. Or, if we have met and are involved with some people that are simply unable presently to exhibit qualities that precipitate and maintain relationships to their benefit and to the benefit of those they meet.

[guest587]

Hey Steve, this is quite prophetic as it speaks to me with a recent separation.

Unfortunately, sometimes cutting ourselves off is the most peaceful solution for both parties.

I have come to realize I am not always as emotionally invested in a relationship as others, that exploring a connection means not knowing what's what but agreeing to see. In most cases, you should always try to communicate this intention(exploring a connection) before believing that's the reality. I have tried exploring a connection, uncertain as to whether it was romantic or friendship. In the end, there was something in me that could not bring myself to the romantic depth the other was ready to share with me. This was an on/off relationship because it seems the friendship was so natural, very minimal superficiality, I thought it meant there was something more. It was from here both people started putting their desires and expectations on the other.

Realizing I was not happy with the direction I was going or the way I was responding to this person I broke it off. I finally got the message. Sometimes, you just don't know unless you're willing to see. I tried to maintain a friendship, but that would prove too difficult. It seems if one person is more invested than the other, and you had at one point agreed to explore the connection- it can be difficult to go back to establishing respectable boundaries and communicating with kindness.

I find it sad when people start talking to you in a mean way and say all these negative things about you. It's like they've completely forgotten all the good that once existed. And sometimes you notice the way they recall their experience does not actually match yours.

There are moments where no matter what you say or do, you can't fix a problem. You will be vilified, you will be called such and such- you will be made low by someone that once said I love you. I don't believe people want to behave this way, I don't believe people message you out of the blue just to argue with you because that's how they want to be remembered. So what can you do?

Do you endure the degrading criticism? And if you've apologized, and even thought amends were made mutually, do you then go back to issues that were actually never resolved? What do you do if you're just trying to move on with Life?

At one point I can tell you we met the criteria defined in the link you've provided, a check mark could be made next to each sign indicating a stable relationship. That no longer applies.

Sometimes things just don't work out, and handling the low point means absolving your self from a harmful situation. Harmful in that, no one should be cussed out regularly and made to feel little by someone they once called a friend. I am realizing that sometimes you have to be the one to set the boundary in order to progress. I hope those I've cut off in my life are able to find peace and happiness, and not feel like a victim or focus so heavily on blame.

Have you watched Man of God yet? It's a great film, and you realize no matter what you do- human beings will vilify each other because we all have a skewed way of looking at life. It's not, "wrong" per se- it's what makes you unique, and what brings you closer to God. As a limited being my self, how can we possibly understand the depth of another's viewing lens- why they experience things the way they do, why they rationalize in the manner they do, or why they behave in ways that are different from us?

No, we aren't perfect... But we can pray for others and we can try to learn from our experiences. Imperfection is a part of perfection. The only perfect relationship I have Faith in is with God. I believe God is in everything and everyone. Still more, I believe God has created all of this- and we are His. He uses us as he sees fit. He knows we are perfectly flawed. He knows our struggles, our hopes and our dreams. We aren't always going to do a good job at something.

I have seen stable relationships become completely illogical or manic. I have been on both ends of the spectrum, and I have been both too emotionally involved where I have lashed out as a consequence and I have been on the other end where I am not as emotionally involved which has helped me understand what's happening.
 
Thanks Bro. Wishing you and everyone reading a peace filled evening.