Message #41763

[guest587]

Thank you. I see how this relates personally too.

Last night I was praying to God, and feeling very off-centered. I was feeling heartache like I wasn't connected to God, the being I was praying too. It is a very disheartening sensation, to think you have lost Gods favor.

But the truth is God favors his creation, whose divine love is even greater than that of a parents for their child. I have faith in this belief. And even if others are to tell me, you are wrong- I refuse to listen. No one call tell me of my personal relationship with God.

But still... I was feeling disconnected. Like there was a wall between me and God.

After some silence and mental rearranging... I remembered that I am the only person to have created this wall.

Over the last few days I was feeling much shame and regret for past actions, outdated behaviors I just can't seem to completely get over. And at the same time I see there has indeed been great progress in areas of my life, which have required abandoning doubt and having the fighting spirit- if you fall, get back up and try again. Die trying, even if you don't make it.

Still, I realize there is much I have done to creating a barrier between me and the Divine Love I so desperately cling to. I realize there is much more work to do or rather, so much to undo... And many superfluous ideas to overcome.

I have literally felt this, "eerie out of balance" state you are describing on the personal level... And I think that's because we are a part of something larger than our 3D body...

And I think during these times, should we wish to sail the choppy waters... We have to practice kindness, patience... Gentleness.... Because the waters are stirring... And there are some creepy crawlers lurking.

The beast are in motion. And I believe God is allowing us the opportunity of exercising our free-will... helping us understand, in ways we can't.

Don't let go of the Beloved... The Beloved is all that matters.