Why do people argue or endlessly debate?

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Arguing is a result of ego it can stir up the mind and make it difficult to meditate. We should recognize that a kind person can find ways to overcome arguments and constant challenges in relationships because of disagreements. We may look at relationships, as many of us have, and recognize that we really like or love someone but we need to find ways to keep our relationship harmonious. I believe that for instance Eric and I really enjoy each other’s company. Yet when we talk about certain subjects we no longer have a harmonious relationship. It can become full of strife. Maybe 🤔 we can talk about the subjects at a later time and find we may have more in common then we thought. However, maybe we will find that we still are in disagreement. My contention - for right or wrong - is that people who recognize common interests and their attraction between one another would be better off to continue enjoying those things that they do enjoy together and avoid subjects that seem to separate them and cause strife if possible.

This thread was included under ‘Acts of Kindness’ because we may find some people are difficult to like because we find they are not kind and it is best for them to recognize their unkindness. Yet there are also people in our lives who we may find are kind in their actions towards us but we still find there are areas that we find we are incompatible.

[guest587]

I think it comes down to remembering: All God. All paths valid belonging to One. Just because someone does not agree with me, does not mean they are less or deserve to be treated in a rude manner. There are too many reasons to know why someone is thinking the way they are. If I detect a kind or sincere attitude, it is best to let those with a different lease on life go on living it than to try and sway their beliefs. None of us have it figured out, but if we think we do, Life has a way of Humbling. We're just doing the best we can with what works for us.

I think those who argue endlessly feel it necessary to prove their views superior- which can become quite obnoxious. Or maybe they believe they are really helping others, which can be equally obnoxious. Eventually, it must be understood that there is no helping a situation(even if that is all you really wanted to do) and to focus on the uniting factors in a relationship. Intolerance towards another way of life is a trick of Ego.

"I can't stand them for this, They are so wrong- I will not tolerate that, This is terrible for me"
me, me, me- i, i, i...

I find that taking the focus off thoughts preoccupied with the self(little s) allows for a more receptive conversation and provides further insight.

If we find we are so disturbed we must remind ourselves of our own convictions, or make a serious inquiry within as to why we have become so jarred.

 

[Jitendra Hydonus]

I think it comes down to remembering: All God. All paths valid belonging to One. Just because someone does not agree with me, does not mean they are less or deserve to be treated in a rude manner. There are too many reasons to know why someone is thinking the way they are. If I detect a kind or sincere attitude, it is best to let those with a different lease on life go on living it than to try and sway their beliefs. None of us have it figured out, but if we think we do, Life has a way of Humbling. We're just doing the best we can with what works for us.

I think those who argue endlessly feel it necessary to prove their views superior- which can become quite obnoxious. Or maybe they believe they are really helping others, which can be equally obnoxious. Eventually, it must be understood that there is no helping a situation(even if that is all you really wanted to do) and to focus on the uniting factors in a relationship. Intolerance towards another way of life is a trick of Ego.

"I can't stand them for this, They are so wrong- I will not tolerate that, This is terrible for me"
me, me, me- i, i, i...

I find that taking the focus off thoughts preoccupied with the self(little s) allows for a more receptive conversation and provides further insight.

If we find we are so disturbed we must remind ourselves of our own convictions, or make a serious inquiry within as to why we have become so jarred.

I agree with you in principle,  Eric, but how does this work out in our personal relationships? It is often more challenging when we are born into a certain family or we have had friends for years we care about. We may be thinking about the larger Self in our differences yet there may be the view that we have difficulties in having someone continually stating their given views or views that support their views when ours are so different. We can back away from the issues or gloss them over with diversionary tactics but that would be a technique and does nevertheless represent an attitude.

[patrick]

That's silly, people don't argue or debate.

[Jitendra Hydonus]

That's silly, people don't argue or debate.

Good to hear and may you continue to find peace in your relationships!