Message #39635

[guest587]

Where I'm at in life,

I have desires and expectations and I continue to strive towards them, exploring my confidence so to speak. Some expectations are unrealistic but I continue to pursue my desires. I try to do so in a way that I have an awareness and respect for boundaries. I also do so in a way to speak my own boundaries rather than shy away and leave someone with a cold shoulder. Having been on the receiving end of being ignored- I have the desire to practice verbalizing whether I am or am not continuing a relationship.


A good example is pursuing a potential love interest- physical or emotional. Or making amends with toxic friendships. My ego might think I am owed something, but being rejected in my pursuits makes it clear how I feel about someone is not necessarily reality. Not that my desires are wrong, but that my expectations are unrealistic. In this pursuit I try to be confident but not aggressive, and give the desired party a chance to speak their truth. It's one thing to say you are not interested- another thing to ignore a person and leave them to figure it out the hard way. There's no fault here. Just that I've been on the receiving end of a cold shoulder with friends and lovers and realize I would at least want the other to know whether I want to continue a relationship or not.

I tried giving two examples in there so I hope it makes sense. Being kind is a solution yes and I am thinking it's fair to add to the equation- to practice courage or boldness with both pursuing and establishing boundaries. It can really take the edge off- even if you have to wrestle through a little anxiety and awkward tension with the other. I find relinquishing expectations after voicing your desire tends to offset any awkwardness.