Message #40074

[guest587]

again isolated recall, fragmented memory- almost forgot then suddenly remembered bits and pieces... and a very interesting/odd conversation with my self during dream state:


I remember being chosen to represent a people as their champion. There was a project of enhancing abilities and cloaking and it literally involved wearing anothers skin. The skin comes from people that are already dead, previous champions who have gone through an embalming process. It's some kind of secret project. I have a weapon, I once again am remembering a rope dart as my weapon.

Also as a separate memory randomly within the recall is a proposed free savings account of $50,000. But after reading the fine print you have to maintain a certain amount in the account every year and a certain % is used against you and you end up with something like +$25. That or +$2,500. It's a big difference but it is still being mulled over in the dream because it is free money and it is an account I would never use.

Also very strange and hard to recall is that I am actually in conversation with some unknown entity- presumably my self. I am telling my self that I chose to learn alongside Ego and Spirit- that this means going through motions with Ego that may be more or less considered embarrassing. I am told I am doing fine, but the reason for some of my depression might have to do with this inability to recognize that I am again, going through the motions, with ego-based desires. It isn't necessarily about achieving the lesser desires, which were mistaken at one point as the only desires, but it is more about remembering this entire ordeal is a project for growth and learning alongside material/nature/ and even shallow desires.

It's as if there is something... Someone, on the other side. An aspect of my self, watching, and there may even be a spiritual family here on this journey with me- experiencing with me through my lone incarnation, not always aware that there is more than the mundane existence and more than the idea of an isolated personality. Not sure how much sense that makes, it's fuzzy- just a feeling that I have a "group" and though you can't see them... and though I hardly recognize them... they are here with me. It was like a pep talk with my self which I wasn't in full control of- I was more asking the questions and the answers seemed to me without my conscious awareness.