I believe it has something to do with Projection. A level of intolerance within the self, or an inability or lack of willingness to asses a particular aspect of ones self. It could also be one is more comfortable avoiding. Imagine understanding a particular aspect of control, externally- and simultaneously having no control over a particular unresolved issue, internally. I think I've walked this path before. The chaos comes from lack of understanding.
Thanks for your take on it. As a spiritual aspirant I suppose the next question would be why do I attract such people? Am I abusive at times? Or should i learn to let go of such sickness in my life? I think it rather ridiculous to ignore who comes into our lives as though it was all by happenstance. Don’t mind your observations. Everyone has blind spots unless they are Enlightened.