I have a love for life that finds even the binding contract of family enjoyable when, at times, the worse of our behaviour might be brought to the light. Sporadic, nonsensical and irritable in my view are spiritual events that can be appreciated. Some don't realize this until they've dissimilated their material identity.
Even aimless living might serve a greater purpose. By no means is this post meant to refute the wisdom from Paramahansa Yogananda, I find your actions and his a noble effort.
I am simply sharing, that spirituality is not always a pretty thing- sometimes the forces that challenge us or pull us away from satisfying this idea of a spiritual led life in fact lead us to the same realization.
Sometimes you have an opportunity to satisfy a desire, sometimes not- all the meanwhile the opportunity for realization is ever present. What is unfortunate in my mind, is one who cuts ties to their family and feels a regret at the end of their life.
Regret and opportunity, both forces, always available.
I cut many of my ties with my physical family as my spiritual family grew. There is just so much time in a day. But I have never regretted it at all. In fact I am grateful for that choice and now can appreciate the ties to my spiritual family and friends I made as time nears the end of this physical incarnation.
