Message #31082

[guest88]

thanks steve, amma is wonderful. her volunteers are annoying. I'm no saint and with my first visit to see Amma I did not appreciate being harassed multiple times by volunteers simply because I went alone. Somehow convinced and strung along to a working station in the back away from amma and away from the beautiful family I had the privilege of getting to know. All because I had to use the restroom and was manipulated by the workers that I need to perform "seva."

my advice for anyone, don't volunteer if it's your first time and enjoy being in amma's presence... or, go knowing full well that if you go alone there are volunteers hounding for you.

now that my ego has had space to air its grief, I am aware that being able to go was a blessing. there were beautiful and surreal moments and I do think I will go again. I also know this is a selfishly narrow minded perspective which closes the walls to god, but let me ask you... if you can not perform seva lovingly should you perform it at all? is it seva if you are thinking about yourself anyways? no, I don't think so.

lately I am understanding why the masters advise us to lose ourselves in order to free ourselves... from ourselves...