Ah Steve, I can't help but get tangled up in these relationships and the feelings. I suppose meditation may serve as a nice refresher and cleanse me from these ensnarement's!
Here's what I read kind of reminds me what you're saying
Rumi, the great Persian poet, speaking about this, says, 'Every soul is a captive on earth'. And this captivity is in the limited physical body, which man calls his individuality or personality; while the nature of the soul is peace and joy and freedom. In this captivity it lacks these things. That is why the soul begins to feel it wants this or that: paradise, duty, a beloved, or wealth. Reason may suggest, 'This is it,' and the soul goes after it, but having acquired it, it begins to feel, 'No, this is not the thing that I wanted.'
https://wahiduddin.net/mv2/VII/VII_30.htm