Message #38938

[guest587]

Just sharing some introspection...

I saw something interesting today and yesterday. Yesterday while sipping on my morning coffee(yup I'm enjoying the Joe) I noticed a large and odd shaped insect walking up my tree. I was so intrigued and having just escaped my sight I got out of my chair and went looking for this oddity. Upon further inspection I realized I was looking at a yellow wasp dragging a cicada up the tree. I've never seen that before. . . With an interest in totems, a living Spirit Messenger- I tried drawing my own conclusions but placed this thought in the back of my mind as it was time to get ready for work.

Today I went out to lay in the sun after exercising. I took my gym shorts off and laid in the grass. Once again I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. There was an extremely large wolf spider- at least as big as the tip of my thumb(from the knuckle to its tip). I couldn't tell if it was dead or alive, he was just resting. Suddenly a red wasp latched onto the spider and started dragging it off of my gym shorts. It's weird but having seen this before I felt like the wasp was serving as my Guardian...

That's twice I've seen something unusual like this. Being born in the city, these sightings really interest me. I know of the power of the sting... That a wasp is powerful medicine. Yesterday I thought the cicada represent new life and the wasp was showing me that opportunity is mine. Today I thought the spider represents Creation and thought the wasp was telling me, between the two signs, something to do with my writing and/or alchemy and transformation. There is a subtle message of guidance, hinting towards possible destiny and/or positive transformation. I gladly accept natures guidance and ask for the Lords strength to achieve.

If I still my thoughts I believe this has to do with another phase of transformation in my life.

Secondly... My Heart has been longing again. Longing and reaching. I'm not sure if it's that I simply crave physical intimacy shared by an equal or if it's an emotional wound I have been suppressing. My mind continues to go to the Peacock Angel. I hope I am not betraying God by pursuing this interest, a form instead of the direct experiential wisdom through All that is God-Ever-Present. I remembered last night that God is the ultimate Lover and today my emotions continue to reach towards a fallen angel connection. I learned that Muslims consider the Yezidi people devil worshipers because the Peacock Angel is a representation of Lucifer but the Yezidi people do not share the same concepts of hell, devil or sin as modern Islam. What is this blockage, this emotion? Was a connection severed? What is this longing and reaching?

I must continue my meditation. Who is Mother? How may I routinely feel the comfort and safety of God?