hi steve
i had a question for you or anyone reading really
i know sometimes you post helpful exercises for personal improvement
i was wonder
how do you deal with censoring yourself ? what mean is. when i look at someone, i might say something negative about them in my mind right away. or, with a group of friends, we might joke and say mean things about the person. i really don't like doing this. it bothers me. also when people get together and talk about the negative memories shared between old friends. i don't like doing that either, but i DO IT. always later, feel bad. i want to know how to stop
and maybe if you have any practice to help with this
U must have heard the saying; what u see in others is in yourself.
It always gives me pause to reflect before acting
Sometimes though we can go the other way.
When we love others we r blinded to their imperfections; in which
case it is helpful to have a good friend tell us what they see about
someone we love. This can spare us some misery and being hurt by others
Often we find friends are right and we put an imaginary glow around others.
It is good to see the best in others but it is better to know what people
are capable of. It is best to find what is good in others and ignore the rest.
Although the past gives us valuable lessons especially when those around us
show no willingness to reform. It is amazing that we do not always see our own character
flaws. A good friend will help us understand so we can improve
ourselves.
A Master is the best friend of all. He/She will work thru people
and circumstances to rid us of all our bad habits. Once we are
exposed to all of these we very quickly realize we have so much
work to do on ourselves that we have very little time to gossip or
think of the work of others.
You asked aboutt a technique: u become more and more
of an observer after years of meditation.
Meditation teaches u how to watch thoughts and actions
When we start to have negative thoughts about
others we observe them like we would our breath
in meditation. Our soul recognizes that it is witness to
so many things happening around us and inside us.
Yet it begins to see these experiences are happening independent
of the observer. It becomes somewhat like a movie we r
watching. All the characters in the movie r necessary for the
play to unfold. But for us to criticize the play or those in it
becomes rather rediculous since we did not write the play. It is only
because we have identified with the play that we feel the need to comment on it
it. In truth we are to enjoy it like a good movie.
This is our challenge: to enjoy the script
and not critcize it. For in truth we are criticizing the
author. Could we have written it better than God?
Jitendra
