something i am still puzzled by. last night i was meditating and my mind came back to this and these thoughts i could not seem to let go of so i stopped meditating... my mind went off to think of death and i felt an immense sorrow or pain. perhaps i just need to adjust my perception. i think i've been through this before, i think i've experienced death before. i thought, if i live in love, for the moment... build family and friends see a connectedness here in this world i am still fearful. most will say this is my ego, so be it. but i think of the mind. if you ever chat with yourself, that voice inside, disappears. not just "the voice" but everything you've observed, shared and witnessed turns into nothing. mainly i hurt because of the love shared between people, the memories stored in the mind... this will all turn off. maybe i love myself, my personality and to think that my personality will cease, a scary thought. of course, the older eric who used to meditate daily and be vegetarian and practice his belief more would probably have this different perception the current eric seeks lol. my beliefs then were more of a knowing and didn't need all this questioning. yet i still feel this pain... funny things is i used to never get sad as a child when family members would pass. even my grandma told me she knew when she was going to die and had no fear. what a brave woman ....
hmm
i just had a wondeful meditation Eric and you were very much a part of it. i tried to break thru and find its meaning as i brought u so close to my consciousness but i was stopped at feeling close and any more answers were undisclosed. At times it is not for us to know why...
only to know and acknowledge acting on our inner stirrings. It can be almost as though there are gaurdian angels preparing us for the changes ahead. As you know there are such intuitions and it is for us to cooperate in their assistance or to make matters worst by taking them in our own hands and go on in our routines until we run recklessly up against a wall. There are things and people that hold us in karmic bondage. Somethings must go...only to make way for a better you!
