There was a HUGE roach above my head the other day. I let him be. Tonight as I came here to post, I heard a buzzing overhead. It was my friend flying in the living room. Steve, I've named this roach after you. Honestly I thought it was you in Spirit.
I hope you don't take offense, this guy had HUGE antennae which he was using quite ingenuously(it reminded me of your meditative practices). I finally mustered the gusto to lure Steve outside. I thought at first I could simply talk to him and show him the way out. It seemed to be working for a minute! I've never seen a roach respond to my voice like that before. Between talking and humming, we got so close to the door leading to our backyard. Well we'd both given up at a certain point, sinking back into the comfort of our own perceptions- two separate realities. Two totally different ways to experience Life. My Mom and her friend came in around the time I decided to strike and capture Steve. Now, with Mom and Cindy's concern over our giant flying friend, there was no hesitancy. I took what I had available- a really large and awkward shaped tupperware container. I was eating homemade icecream out of it for dessert and there was still a little melted cream leftover. A hustle and bustle later, I gently scooped towards Steve accidentally flipping him on his back. I rolled him in the sugary liquid and closed the lid. I took Steve outside and placed him near the bushes. After going inside to clean the tupperware and the few drops of icecream that managed to land on the wooden floor- I went back out to check on my scary friend, concerned after having had covered him in sugary liquid. Steve had miraculously cleaned himself off and was perched against the brick wall that is my house. Ahh, the great outdoors. A night of freedom for the both of us.
I see this totem has a message for me. It's interesting, when something like a roach bigger than our thumb is spotted above us- the kind of fear it spurs. And yet, when I tried to get acquainted and capture gods creature- I noticed a gentle demeanor. The roach was equally scared- considering we are what.... 30x larger than it?
They are master survivors, sensitive and know how to navigate between light and dark. They have a keen sense and will most likely be here after us.
