Message #23116

[guest88]

hi steve,

my way is to confront the conflict when the opportunity presents itself. doing this has been a work in progress. all i mean is voicing your concern.... for example......

(in its simplicity) i have friends that want to hang out or do things when i don't necessarily want to do anything. telling them no isn't always as easy as it sounds. sometimes we're made to feel guilty and have an obligation to our friends. once this happens its easy to let a dominant personality dictate the flow of the relationship. you can get so caught up you even feel as if you're being tortured. the reality is all you need to do is tell the truth... if it ever gets the point where you need to have a serious talk.... if the person is open and willing to listen... or later wants to try and work, wants to be respectful of your wants/needs then this may be a person worth keeping in your life.

i have a wonderful friend i experience this with. we're being distanced by work and other circumstance. i also realize i have a couple friends that i may be pushing away because of my desire to continually hang out and be in their company.

a seer may understand when to let someone be but a child on the playground doesn't always know when to stop. communicating is the best medicine before cutting people out completely.

i've also come to realize people with caustic personalities typically have had a rough upbringing in some fashion or another. we may not be able to determine that by hanging out with strangers but if this person is worth keeping in your life, if both decide to try then love seems to find a way to heal and provide benefits and insights to both parties.