By objective examination can we say we had no part at all in raising the anger of others? Can we say we have been so psycologically keen to foresee and avoid any negative development with the others we've been dealing with?
Was it avoidable? Was it not? Have we written something which should have not been written? Or we didn't do anything we can reasonably think of as negative? Or we underestimated something we wrote that might have hurt the other person's susceptibility?
The analysis must be ruthlessly objective.
If not, we must try and do better next time around.
When I carry out such self-analyses most times I find a flaw in my own behaviour, my own discrimination . Not always, but almost all the times.
This is a good post for reflection. i believe that the important thing is this; Do we feel good about ourselves and the way we have handled our relations with others? Have we done everything we could to 'mend our ways'. If that is the case then all we can do is feel good about others because we can only be responsible for our behavior not theirs. Very few people are perfect. If we accept the imperfections in others and can think of them kindly then we have found kindness and love for their memories and still can express it should the occasion arise.
In reality there are those who do not want to communicate with us and we have to come to terms with it. There is really no way of second guessing them when we have no way of knowing. If they are truly kind people they would not want us to obsessively ruminate about such matters and if they are unkind and would like to have us do this--it is not worth draining our energies on them anyhow. They are responsible for their own behavior or cutting us/you off. Why add to any karma they may accrue by having morose and angry feelings about them?
Fortunately there are also many people who enjoy communicating with most of us. You really cannot please every one as the old saying goes. I am not going a step further by saying 'so you have to please yourself' but rather it seems to me the most important thing is to please God and let the rest take care of itself.
