So today I went to an SRF center in Portland, never have been there before, there was a monastic up from California doing the talking (that's why I went really). I liked him.
But you know, the rest of it I felt like a square peg in a round hole again. I felt I didn't belong there. I don't know why really, I'm sure everyone there is nice and all.
It feels uncomfortable. When I was a kid I used to go to church every sunday, one of these places was an old monastery. Freaky to a kid, black gates out front, very adams family-ish. Sometimes I was the only one there at the mass, really. There were nuns up top mostly out of sight in a balcony-like area, probably required to be there. Another church I frequented had communion, and confession. Confession was awkward.
I dont think any of that has to do with how I felt today, but it does have some subconscious links for me it seems.
i understand. However everybody there may not be as nice as you think. There may be people who are also more nicer then you think. The point is Paramahansa Yogananda recommended going to group meditations. So i would go when ever i could.
