Message #15893

[brock]

So, I gave in last night and broke the chain. I don't know why but it seems like it was out of boredom (which concerns me). So I guess all my tough talk comes to naught. But it was definitely a good exercise. I  I am going to start the counter over again. I made it to day 7. So I didn't even get off the ground.

Some things I noticed. Meditation was easier, my mind could think more clearly. Lust did not trouble me for these 7 days as much as usual because I was not taking the bait of those thoughts. It is when you take the initial bait that it gets harder to control. It is like a fire that is small at first, but if you entertain it in thought it can grow out of proportion. When you dwell on these things that is when the issue arises. If you have the initial will to not entertain the thoughts, they fall away naturally.

I would like to make it the full 90 days. I am going to keep trying. I think it would be easier if I wasn't doing it alone.