Hello there are a couple of responses I would like to give to this beautiful post (part of it I have included below) that does find some reflection in our own life encounters. I find it interesting that there are those who come into our life that we have shared previous unresolved karmic conditions with. It may take sometime but eventually we find that their definition of love is much different then our own. They may eventually lay down their cards in our encounters with them and we have no choice but to play them.
In this venture we find that they have not spiritually evolved enough to embrace our understanding of love. They may even do hurtful things and may not care to rectify mistakes made. They may not want to speak about it or resolve the issues. It becomes difficult to realize that we may be involved with those who are not able to have completely healthy and spiritual relationships. Relationships that limit their expression and confine love to a very narrow definition. I find much reassurance in the fact that our attempts to love and be loving still have their repercussions in sympathetic souls who continue to affirm a higher, more inclusive and expanding understanding of love.
The loss of love has been something which has challenged and guided me my whole life. Every person I've ever been close to, other than family, has stayed a time, exchanged beautiful, deep energies and ideas with me, and then left (usually the deeper and stronger the exchange the shorter the visit...
I think this is a wavelength (needing to fix/help someone) I am growing out of. I still love everyone I've loved with all my heart and want to remain open to their spiritual unfoldment, awakening, but to remain heartbroken by betrayal of friendship or hurt by any other mean action by another is not a very useful emotion to remain focused on. I'm focusing on my own future, my own endeavors, my own spiritual unfoldment. I know, the best way to truly help others is to just be oneself. And, I know the "brief" intersection between myself and anyone else, where a deep friendship was formed and great heights were experienced together has a value which must continue to ripple, regardless of what comes after.
I've heard and/or seen from many of those I've been closest to that they "hurt those closest to them." Whenever I feel I may have hurt or ignored someone close to me, I seek resolution and healing very quickly and have found great frustration and suffering when the other party does not want to speak or resolve a problem.
I don't feel much emotional suffering now. I'm focused on positive creation and personal growth, and always Love in the ways it currently manifests in my life. You are right, friendship is a blessing.
I don't want to identify myself in my mind as a "victim" of someone saying mean things to me or letting me down in a big way or not being there for me. I want to let go of all negative feelings like that and focus on love, forgiveness and gratitude for everything I have to be grateful for!
Perhaps this thread is about other things now. To bring it back to topic...
I think Love IS forgiveness and gratitude, and without these two things deeper Love cannot be known.
I find the teachings of Neem Karoli Baba on Love and the Heart to be very insightful and to resonate as True with me. He says it is best to not "close your heart" to anyone, including those who have caused me or others suffering, but I think it is a good idea to let go and stay away from such people, unless they sincerely want to reconnect, speak.
My injury is a beautiful experience. At one point, one night months ago, I thought I might not survive or have done irreparable damage to myself from the "medicine" the doctor prescribed me. In these moments of the greatest pain my body had ever felt, when I thought I might be leaving my body and my friends came to help me, I thought of the one who I considered my "best friend" who told me I was her best friend and that we would always be friends, I realized if she would not talk to me when I thought I might be dying, there is no good reason for that, so heartbreaking. Though I survived and am now on the way to full recovery, it almost feels as though the one I had been closest to in this incarnation has died, and I've been grieving for a long time.
I now realize this is only one way to view things. My injury is a beautiful experience and my suffering the greatest lesson, to help me know what I must let go of the most to help myself and others in this Life, which is my true goal. I want to help this world, and I know it is an illusion to think I must have any certain individual or group of people remain close or at all in my life to do my work, to help others and to continue my own spiritual unfoldment.
I hope others can see some reflection of themselves through my words, they are honest and sincere from my own own perspective, though I know much of what they describe could also be called "illusions" or "false love." This is what I am trying to let go of, false love and illusions, which I think my injury has given me much encouragement to do so. Coming "close to death" has led to me re-evaluating my life deeper than ever before, and want to be fearless with my honesty about myself and towards others in any way which I think may help them.
I think Love is letting go of all ideas of Love, and false love and illusions along with it, and opening up to the greater, infinite reality of what Love is.
I think we are Love, in our truest definition of who we are and what binds us. God is Love. All is Love. We are a reflection of God. We are Love.
Much Love
Namaste
