Message #36403

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Everyone has there own specific difficulties Eric. When we meet others with similar challenges we often run into similar situations that challenge a relationship. What I do see happening in many cases is not that people are not kind. But rather they can expect others to understand them because they have been kind. In more specific terms; the underlying assumption is that because I have been kind I should be treated some special way, even in the event that the person displays inconsistencies in their behavior. This is a manifestation of ego for deeds done. There is the notion of; ‘After all I’ve done for you, I get this kind of treatment?’ We can be appreciative of what others do without reinforcing their challenging behaviors.

‘Desires and expectations nourish the ego.’  At times we have to let desires go so no expectations will ruin relationships. I think what happens between people is often like a rumor of sorts. Because what we originally said isn’t what comes back to us. When it is filtered through another persons head it is quite different than what we said or intended. Then we kinda think; Really is that what you heard or thought? But then we are called on what someone thought we had said. If we respond we may be told we are judging another person. So sometimes it is better just to let it go. But others may not let it go and say we are running from the issue. Actually we may just need time to stand back, look at ourselves and others and get a perspective on the situation before responding appropriately.

We may find that although people can be very kind in their actions, they also may also have quite an identification with their deeds and not be able to see that the deeds would be better off  as offerings to God and not people. If we have expectations of people or God we may find our desires are not fulfilled. As Amma has said in the video presentation here; the Gurus work is to eliminate our ego, and not to satisfy our desires and expectations.