i think you shouldnt apologize if you dont mean it. i was taught and, am still learning, forgiveness is something you earn- not expect. why say your sorry if you dont even mean it, why give someone the benefit of the doubt for being wrong ? the other day i had a guest demand i apologize. i couldn't believe i had to apologize to someone for their own ignorance and impatience. instead i told that person to have a nice day and walked away. he chased me down and told my manager. can you believe how ridiculous he sounded when he told my manager and with such frustration, "he told me to have a nice day!" the man even tried making my manager force me to apologize. i wanted to say, "i'm so sorry your impatient and are having such a miserable time. i'm sorry everything came out the way you asked. and i'm sorry i forgot to wipe your ass on the way out." ok sorry. i didn't say these things, instead i walked away. i'm hoping he can see in some way how he might have been wrong. but if he can't then i dont care anymore, starting after this post. point being, you don't necessarily reward a child for being in the wrong. i'm not going to apologize to someone for hitting my car. what service to harmony are you doing by providing them with an insincere response. i'd either defend myself or immediately detach from the situation without a word. hopefully one of these two options gives the other something to think about- hopefully learn from. but apologizing to someone else for being wrong could mean your helping them repeat their mistake.
Some people have to go thru this phase of 'being rite'. When we recognize that they r going thru that phase we often let them feel the feeling of being what they consider to be rite. At some point they may recognize that those who do not have the need to be rite r recognizing that there is really no rite or wrong these r still opposites or dualities in the play of maya. The wise man rises above shame and pride, rite and wrong. We must take responsibility for our circumstances. We do not have to apologize. We can just can be friendly. In this case i only apologized because i was asked to. Sometimes i can be sincere and feel sorry that something happened for both of us. That does not mean i feel i was being abused or that i feel shamed. It just means that i am sorry that it happened so therefore i can apologize if someone else wants me to do so.They may be more responsible than me but that is their issue; Not mine. i have left it behind while they may be still carrying the baggage since they wanted to be rite.
So is my view about this subject rite? i do not think so.
So is my view wrong. i do not think so.
So is the subject dead? Perhaps. i am trying to understand myself. We just gain wisdom. There is no end ahead for this process. It is a process of understanding that we explore together.
Jitendrajust considering we should avoid "shame" -- as shame is ignorance (sin)... it is one of the trappings... we should learn and move on... not knot upon past outcomes...
apology should center upon sincere expression of truth, by removing the filter of egoity.
if the vision of truth is not clear, a sincere effort to express our dissappointment that things happenned that way -- and even stating our puzzlement about how the event came about... the key is sincerity ? !
