Message #10871

[Jitendra Hydonus]

I agree. To apologize to someone is being humble and shows character. It sounds like you may have had the option to allow this person to merge into your lane. If you had not seen the other vehicle it would be understandable that there may be a collision. But it seems like you originally observed the other vehicle and anticipated her moving into your lane and at that moment is when you had the option to slow down and allow her into your lane or not. This woman should have not merged into your lane by basically forcing her way into your lane that i agree, was wrong on her part. I believe state laws read that the person merging into traffic lanes is the person that is the responsible party for merging into the traffic lanes incl. on/off ramps etc. If that state law reads as so then she was at fault. Your apology to her was an honorable and humbling gesture on your part. The fact that she attempted to merge into your lane anticipating your generosity of allowing her to do so was totally in your control. I feel she should have apologized for hitting your vehicle because she also was in control of her own vehicle and she made the decision to merge expecting you to allow her to merge into your lane. If the state law is written as so then it appears that legally she was in the wrong in this case. Your apology i feel may be coming from a two sided coin. On one side of the coin the apology is warranted because if one were legally at fault one should acknowledge that fact and apologize and on the other side an apology may also be warranted because your decision to not allow her to merge voluntarily when you seem to knowingly have anticipated her move was also an error on your part. The option to allow her to merge was possibly in your control at that point? Your decision it would seem would be the deciding factor in this case. Maybe your apology came from the fact that you knew you had the option to allow her to merge but you made the decision to maintain your position and was not going to allow her to merge into your lane. So maybe you felt somewhat in the wrong but your decision would be based on your characteristic personality and that would i feel may determine who had the option in the beginning to have maybe helped avoid the collision between the two vehicles. Your apology i feel would have to based on what your conscience tells you. Only you would know that answer. The option to how the accident could possibly have been avoided would be based on your final decision and that would be between you and God. No one should make a judgment in what you were thinking or not thinking but your post indicates you did seemed to be in control and you could have made the decision to just allow her to merge into your lane before the accident actually happened? Your apology may have been based on that fact or not. Just a personal opinion based on your written account of how the accident happened and no judgement is being made here. As stated it is between you and your God. It is just a good thing no matter what to see that no one seemed to be injured in the accident.     

This may help; the marks from her car are on the back panel of mine and u know that i do not usually rush along. Most accidents r a result of two peoples awareness or lack of it. Sometimes i just do not know how to respond or not respond to the rudeness of other drivers. Many times i have driven in Los Angeles and people honk at me when a pedestrian is crossing the road in front of me.
It is courteous to let pedestrians cross the road but in California it is the law to yield to pedestrians and stop when they cross streets at intersections. Furthermore many drivers wedge in anywhere they r able. So i wonder how much should one 'bend' when they r actually rude in their driving maneuvers? Yes sometimes u r aware of the rude ones and have hunch of what they r going to do.

i thought about it and at first thought that it might b given to much thought. But than realized how serious a task driving can be. It is good to b conscientious of our driving so i appreciate your thoughts 'no to know it all'. i think Nitewish and i have talked about this. It is best to put lite and the angels around u every time u and those u come in contact with every time u drive. Things could b much worst . i am very fortunate about driving in my life though i have had some mishaps in the past.

Jitendra