Message #35083

[guest88]

I'd like to ask him if it is common to have a type of richocet effect while pursuing meditation?

Aside from a growing impatience, my practices seem to pull me faster into a self sabatoging reality.

At first I thought maybe my karma is being sped up? Then I thought it meant I wasn't ready to renounce certain habits. Like drinking coffee every day?

Whatever the case, when I try to meditate and invoke a mind set I am met with later on a completely different attitude that would compromise the previous one. It could be days later. Or weeks. Or even immediately after meditation.

It would also appear that people and events are more present in my life as I attempt to pull out from certain relationships and social events. Almost like a test.

I have become more restless at times when practicing meditation.

I think this means there is something inside me that requires further understanding. If, for example, I am having too much Ego and another time too much Spirit by way of attitude, perhaps an understanding of how to navigate both mind sets needs to be applied, like a type of harmonizing. Not to deny one over the other.

I wonder if anyone else feels like Maya happens tenfold when pursuing meditation. Or is it we are becoming more aware of the illusions? But why would that also create irritability?