Swami Peevananda

[Jitendra Hydonus]

This is a special announcement to my devotees for Valentine's day. I'll be soon importing, for sale, Royal Tantric Jelly. It is a Vegan Personal Lubricant. Which I use for yogic purposes. Available in one once, two once and larger sizes on special orders. Also scented or odorless.

Swami Peevananda

Is that jelly for a sandwich? Peevananda and jelly sandwiches?

[Swami Peevananda]

Repeating yourself is just like saying what you already know over and over again, ad infinitum-except that's exactly what it is.
How many times must I repeat myself?

Swami Peevananda

[Swami Peevananda]

We regret to inform you that Sunday's sermon will be canceled. Swami Peevananda has the shakes and is in dire need of a drink.

Dr. Benway

[Lucky Denver]

Is your jelly for sandwiches?

[Swami Peevananda]

Is your jelly for sandwiches?

This is where your religious nonsense really begins to sound like nonsense!
I just spend 400 dollars on reiki mushrooms and I can not be wasting my time on this nonsense.
What are you doing in my ashram anyhow? I just ate a hot dog and no body is supposed to know.

                     Swami Peevananda

[Jitendra Hydonus]

Is your jelly for sandwiches?

This is where your religious nonsense really begins to sound like nonsense!
I just spend 400 dollars on reiki mushrooms and I can not be wasting my time on this nonsense.
What are you doing in my ashram anyhow? I just ate a hot dog and no body is supposed to know.

                     Swami Peevananda

May i suggest vegetarian hot dogs? They really quite tasty when you get the mustard on. Then u could actually be an example to your devotees. That would b quite a change.

Jitendra

[Swami Peevananda]

Karma is fluffy, loves you unconditionally, and must be walked regularly.

meet my dog...

[Swami Peevananda]

I want you to know, all of you, that the beer mug in the right hand corner of my picture is what you have driven me too. Must I look at the same cows grazing on the same fields every day just going from one pasture to another to chew more grass. Give me another swig!

[elfunrocker]

~ Swami Ribber ~
1st verse
Way down upon de Swami Ribber,
Far, far away,
Dere's wha my heart is turning ebber,
Dere's wha de old folks stay.

All up and down de whole creation
Sadly I roam,
Still longing for de old masterbation
And for de old folks at home.

Chorus
All de world am sad and dreary,
Ebry where I roam,
Oh! darling how my heart grows weary,
Far from de old folks at home.

2nd verse
All round de little farm I wandered
When I was young,
Den many happy days I squandered,
Many de songs I sung.

When I was playing wid my brudder
Happy was I
Oh! take me to my kind old mudder,
Dere let me live and die.

Chorus

3rd verse
One little hut amond de bushes,
One dat I love,
Still sadly to my mem'ry rushes,
No matter where I rove

When will I see de bees a humming
All round de comb?
When will I hear de banjo tumming
Down in my good old home?

Chorus

[Zeek Zack Ziner]

~ Swami Ribber ~
1st verse
Way down upon de Swami Ribber,
Far, far away,
Dere's wha my heart is turning ebber,
Dere's wha de old folks stay.

All up and down de whole creation
Sadly I roam,
Still longing for de old masterbation
And for de old folks at home.

Chorus
All de world am sad and dreary,
Ebry where I roam,
Oh! darling how my heart grows weary,
Far from de old folks at home.

2nd verse
All round de little farm I wandered
When I was young,
Den many happy days I squandered,
Many de songs I sung.

When I was playing wid my brudder
Happy was I
Oh! take me to my kind old mudder,
Dere let me live and die.

Chorus

3rd verse
One little hut amond de bushes,
One dat I love,
Still sadly to my mem'ry rushes,
No matter where I rove

When will I see de bees a humming
All round de comb?
When will I hear de banjo tumming
Down in my good old home?

Chorus

Don't stink I don't snow you Elfun
Where de tummy ends tha humming begins.
I am d brudder that you de smother.
you master de masturbation alone
I come visit  when you go down riibber
There I rove chuckle and play de comb
all de world be sad and dreary
till we meet on de swami ribber

Zeek Zack Ziner

[Swami Peevananda]

~ Swami Ribber ~
1st verse
Way down upon de Swami Ribber,
Far, far away,
Dere's wha my heart is turning ebber,
Dere's wha de old folks stay.

All up and down de whole creation
Sadly I roam,
Still longing for de old masterbation
And for de old folks at home.

Chorus
All de world am sad and dreary,
Ebry where I roam,
Oh! darling how my heart grows weary,
Far from de old folks at home.

2nd verse
All round de little farm I wandered
When I was young,
Den many happy days I squandered,
Many de songs I sung.

When I was playing wid my brudder
Happy was I
Oh! take me to my kind old mudder,
Dere let me live and die.

Chorus

3rd verse
One little hut amond de bushes,
One dat I love,
Still sadly to my mem'ry rushes,
No matter where I rove

When will I see de bees a humming
All round de comb?
When will I hear de banjo tumming
Down in my good old home?

Chorus

Don't stink I don't snow you Elfun
Where de tummy ends tha humming begins.
I am d brudder that you de smother.
you master de masturbation alone
I come visit  when you go down riibber
There I rove chuckle and play de comb
all de world be sad and dreary
till we meet on de swami riibber

Zeek Zack Ziner

This is nothing less than a disgrace to my good name and fame. What kind of evil lurks in these my sermons yet meant for
those who have no common dignity? Hark listen my voice must be heard. Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow it may show.
One more slurp from the mug and I will deliver judgement on these faithless creatures.

                                              Swami Peevananda