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Friction in Relationships

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Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?
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« on: May 02, 2022 06:14 pm »

Over the years I have become more aquatinted with friction in relationships. I have found that is not always as ‘bad’ as it may seem. In fact I am beginning to understand the spiritual reasons behind such occurrences regardless of how the experiences are affecting us when they happen.

For one, sometimes we just spend too much closeness to other people and we need occasional breaks. We also have constant lessons in how to handle unfolding ‘dramas’ around us. There is always that thought; I could have would’ve and should’ve acted another way.  I really think we need to distance ourselves from others to let other energies have a space to enter our lives.

And i also see that most people do not change without friction in their lives. It is because of difficulties and rubbing against others and their approaches and views that we change, revise and refine our own behaviors and attitudes.
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« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2022 07:54 pm »

This lovely insight was posted at the :14 time stamp. An important number, and a spiritual guide.  Smiley Cheers!
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« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2022 06:01 pm »

Need to make a comment here about friction. When we are truly happy and feel the exhilaration of spirit bubbling up inside, the negativity that we may feel around us seems quite insignificant and we are so caught up in the happiness of life that we tend to blow off most of the static that tries to spoil our relationships. Dark presences find that happiness and joy are intolerable and often either brighten up or leave because the vibration is annoying to them.
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« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2022 01:08 am »

I agree. I was also thinking about this today, after reading your post- by working with our "self" we have an opportunity to understand where irritability, impatience and frustration come from. If we've learned, and often lessons need repeated for many of us, we can navigate through "dark presences" with understanding. A devotee of God may even exude compassion when confronted by intolerance which has the ability to transcend energy. In either case, God is the best teacher and best suited to handle the individuals spiritual needs at any moment in time. 

So what are some things that cause these dark presences to find another's joy insufferable? It is unhappiness within. Contributing factors include... Excess media. Poor diet choices. Disconnect from nature. Excessive thoughts of self beyond basic needs. Stifling or suppression of ones personality. Lack of understanding.

We learn, as you've said in your initial post, that breaks or space allow new opportunities. Sometimes a simple change in routine allows opportunities otherwise unforeseeable. I've experienced this without having to walk away from challenging relationships. However, sometimes the best thing we can do is walk away which I've also experienced. We may eventually find peace and understanding towards those who've wished us harm or have disappeared. Without callous feeling, it may be that the "negativity" of another is actually meant to serve another person or that the landscape needed exploring. This could mean, from our overtly joyous state, we are incorrectly labeling another person as "negative" or even a "dark presence."

It is good to remember, there is no right or wrong in the grand scheme of things. In 3D in relation to the individuals journey- there is right and there is wrong. In God consciousness, in deep spiritual understanding ultimately- what one calls right is right and what one calls wrong is also right. Both people are right, even if they say the other is wrong. It was for them to do so in order to grow closer to God.

What I am trying to do, as a practice- is keep the beauty alive even for those who've created disturbances in my life. For the lovers who have left me without a sound- for the friends who've accosted me in their frustrations- for the coworkers and family whose actions I've found intolerable... I hold on to the memories where there was harmony- should these individuals ever resurface(in thought or in person) I wish to speak nicely about them and keep Love Alive. God will move me accordingly, based on my vibratory state. And I think- extracting the sweet from the sour may relieve the other person, even if we are not meant to be in each others lives. It does not mean I have forgotten the experience of "sour" or trying to force my way in that persons life-it only means that I recognize the lessons from our time together and keep my heart light when the energy creeps into my awareness.

Thank you for the introspection Brother.

Kind regards~
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« Reply #4 on: Jun 08, 2022 06:26 am »

The thought hit me today that it is more difficult to love those presently in your life than it is those who've left. Often we're longing or hold those who've abandoned a relationship in higher regard than the people sharing love with us presently. I think this has a lot to do with 3D and Ego. It's not even to judge another, separation is natural... And All is God. Just to note that it is quite noble to share love with those who wish to share it with us in our lives. Again, it's all God. And if we abandon challenges they have ways of resurfacing-
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« Reply #5 on: Oct 27, 2022 03:13 am »

(Eric) It has come to my awareness that I really enjoy 😉 interchanges with you on most all subjects accept one; politics. I have sneaky suspicion that topic may resurface again. But we may need quite a lot of time to distance ourselves from it if it isn’t the rest of this incarnation. The mind tends to polarize discussion if the heart 💜 is not given equal or more time. That sounds and expresses part of my present observation.

I think your fathers relationship is quite the same with regard to your aunt when it comes to religion. It is interesting that some people have the ability to know when they can broach topics  they are able to and when they have little to no affect on others. Or…like you mentioned your sister… bringing up topics that just have no constructive consequences. Although I wonder does your aunt need to be challenged? In our case, I find no real helpful way to discuss such issues, it is not a case of avoidance.

I keep thinking of Paramahansa Yogananda responding with ‘you may be right’ to people trying to tell him his religion was wrong. I just think he could display an incredible humility when needed. Much more than I ever have. I ‘think’ it is partially because it sounded like an insincere response. But then again what other response can you give someone that already ‘knows’ they are ‘right’ ?
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« Reply #6 on: Oct 27, 2022 08:39 pm »

In the example with my sister she was learning boundaries, both for herself and with others. My aunt was hosting us and made a clear boundary as far as not talking transgenderism at the dinner table. April crossed this boundary in favor of voicing her own ideas. She wasn't even aware of her self(unaware she was poking a bear) and couldn't understand why she was not allowed to express her views or why Aunt Robyn would react so negatively. Happy to report April is learning more about boundaries and growing a lot.

Often times we're faced with challenging lessons because we are more absorbed with our own ideas than correctly reading a room.

In the case of Yogananda, I think he recognized that all paths lead to one and that arguing whose path is better is not constructive but a mark of spiritual immaturity.
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« Reply #7 on: Oct 28, 2022 05:18 am »

Very interesting take, especially on Paramahansa Yogananda Eric. I guess it proves the point that sometimes you have to excuse yourself in any way possible to avoid the immaturity of others spiritually speaking. I remember Amma once answering to a political question someone asked her when I attended her satsang. She simply replied; “No Comment”.

I don’t think either Paramahansa Yogananda or Amma set up boundaries they simply were not going to be involved in such talk. Surprisingly Paramahansa Yogananda did just the opposite; instead of setting up a boundary he turned to his devotees who said they thought a Christian trying to convert him was extremely intolerant and a nuisance, he commended the Christian to his devotees by saying he should be an example to them of how enthusiastic they should be towards their spiritual life. Hmmmm…..so many of these stories and first hand experiences with such highly evolved souls I keep with me and remember them as they have affected and changed my life in many ways. There is nothing like being involved with such towering spiritual figures…. Even for a short time.
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