Abusive relationships

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Got a question why is it that people who have had abusive childhoods are also abusive but do not recognize they are?

[guest88]

I believe it has something to do with Projection. A level of intolerance within the self, or an inability or lack of willingness to asses a particular aspect of ones self. It could also be one is more comfortable avoiding. Imagine understanding a particular aspect of control, externally- and simultaneously having no control over a particular unresolved issue, internally. I think I've walked this path before. The chaos comes from lack of understanding.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

I believe it has something to do with Projection. A level of intolerance within the self, or an inability or lack of willingness to asses a particular aspect of ones self. It could also be one is more comfortable avoiding. Imagine understanding a particular aspect of control, externally- and simultaneously having no control over a particular unresolved issue, internally. I think I've walked this path before. The chaos comes from lack of understanding.

Thanks for your take on it. As a spiritual aspirant I suppose the next question would be why do I attract such people? Am I abusive at times? Or should i learn to let go of such sickness in my life? I think it rather ridiculous to ignore who comes into our lives as though it was all by happenstance. Don’t mind your observations. Everyone has blind spots unless they are Enlightened.

[guest88]

It may come to a point where you realize there's nothing you can do, that said person will have to want to help themselves before anything can be done. And it dawns upon us that there isn't much we control outside ourselves. In your separation, much healing can transpire. Relationships, like Nature, have a beginning and an end- it's the experience... That's the eternal part. "Forgiving." Thank you "for giving" me this experience. I recently witnessed a dear friend meet a minor resistance in me, and he projected his thoughts by reacting very negatively to my response. My friend is still my friend. And in our separation I am comforted that he is on the right path. Similarly, I have another friend who is in the phase, "dark night" of the soul. His family cut him off. I am worried his abuse with him self might mean losing his life. There isn't anything I can do. It's at the point where he has to help himself, and all I can do is keep him in Loving energy.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Eric you have been a wonderful friend. With you I have never felt the need to forgive but rather the need to understand as you appear to be doing the same. It is not so difficult to want to forgive. It is more difficult to forget. Lingering doubts about myself often follow the way people have reacted to me. It is often frustrating not knowing how God would respond or not respond. I’m not so definitive about life’s realities. I suppose that could be seen as a weakness since I may have enabled some people to continue their abusive behavior. Also, I may have let in energy fields that have disrupted a an increasing meditative aura. There comes a point though when one starts seeing very clearly what a person is doing and how it is also affecting my spiritual growth. Unfortunately it often takes a lot of time to make a significant decision about such matters.