Hey Steve!
I believe you said it best, once or twice
"A hall of mirrors" !
I have childhood friends with whom I have no thing unresolved or needing, when we meet it is quite harmonious and only good intentions are exchanged- even if it is once a year!
I have friends with whom we've reached an impasse, and although there may be unresolved affairs, there are no hard feelings. We go our separate ways and often times repeat the lessons with new faces until whatever is needing is acknowledged. What happens is ideas of who, or expectations of, are not met. Quite recently I have had a highschool friend decide to sever the cord because of his refusal to accept me in the moment for who I am. I realized much of our relationship, long ago, was greater in idea and fantasy than in reality. When I prayed to God I learned of a phrase in which validated the way I have felt about him- borderline personality disorder. Yet it is not for me to tell him what he has- but for me to understand why he behaves and judges others in the manner he does. It has a lot to do with unresolved trauma in his youth, abusive parental figures and being raised in a culture where success is measured by financial and social status.
And I have yet another relationship, a girlfriend who is most open about our "shadow" selves. In me she experiences a great love and a great fear, it is beautiful. She is comfortable experiencing this. She says we mirror each others fears in unique ways. I am in love with her.
I have friends with whom I keep a distance because I do not care to engage and risk jeopardizing my well being. It comes from knowing my self more than I know the other person. When I have no equilibrium I am suffering- but as a creature endowed with free will reviewing the timeline of its life I find appreciation for all the interactions, understanding every one person has something unique to offer- relevant to the moment. Many of us don't give any thought to it, or only when we ourselves are needing or lost or upset by a great disturbance. This might pertain to karmic reality.
Hmm.. I have more to say but that's it for now. It isn't a direct response- but I hope you find something relevant!