Anger in Relationships

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

“Wrath springs only from thwarted desires. I do not expect anything from others, so their actions cannot be in opposition to wishes of mine. I would not use you for my own ends; I am happy only in your own true happiness.” ~ Sri Yukteswar

[guest88]

that makes me ANGRY 

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

that makes me ANGRY 

Can you explain why? 

[guest88]

twas a joke dear bro.

im to tired to try and save it.  gnight! 

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

twas a joke dear bro.

im to tired to try and save it.  gnight! 

Sometimes jokes are used to jump tracks and they resolve tensions.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

“Wrath springs only from thwarted desires. I do not expect anything from others, so their actions cannot be in opposition to wishes of mine. I would not use you for my own ends; I am happy only in your own true happiness.” ~ Sri Yukteswar

I think the biggest eye opener for me when I’ve been faced by anger is the recognition that anger springs from not having things go the way you would like them. Or to state it more elegantly; Wrath springs from thwarted desire.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

i am not sure I am right about my responses or lack of responses. I am learning and adjusting my responses to people as life unfolds. My response to anger has always been to be detached. And observe the reactions of others around me. When other people feel anger and frustration with me I see it as a way they vent when they feel frustrated and feel they are unable to get understanding from me. It is difficult for me to feel responsible for someone else’s anger because I sincerely feel anger is the result of frustrated desire. And I do know that feeling because I myself have had frustrated desire that led to anger in my life. However, now I have not felt anger-that I’m aware of- in so long that it does not seem to be something I’m currently working on in my list of personality and behavioral adjustments. What I do find I’m working on is finding ways to help others find peace and face their own anger issues. What I have found is that being in the presence of a Master like for instance Amma, there have been many times I have seen and taken people to see her that got angry. I sincerely believe that this is because a Master often makes people confront themselves and their own character flaws. That is also why we see various flaws in ourselves as I have myself when I have been in the presence of spiritual seekers and Masters.

It is inspiring to see other people making progress in their own character flaws as I am attempting to do with mine as well. I think one of the most helpful things to do is pray for understanding between the people we have differences with, for understanding as we recognize that our differences are being brought out by our mutual spiritual aspirations which require us to look closely at our character flaws and change them.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

“Wrath springs only from thwarted desires. I do not expect anything from others, so their actions cannot be in opposition to wishes of mine. I would not use you for my own ends; I am happy only in your own true happiness.” ~ Sri Yukteswar

This seems like the best definition of anger and frustration and where it springs from that I’ve ever seen; time and time again I’ve seen people who are angry and their anger is covering up thwarted desires and unrealistic and unexpressed or unfulfilled desires. You can’t always get what you want or desire in this existence and it is most likely never something that would benefit you or you would be happy with even if you or someone had it.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

It takes an exceptionally spiritually developed and good  person to act kindly when they do not receive or get the response their ego requires when they are put to the spiritual test. Their response usually takes the form of anger in some form or another. Retaliation is a form of anger. The silent treatment is a form of anger. Destroying other peoples property or taking it, is a form of anger. Blaming others for their own deficiencies is a form of anger. Anger can rise its ugly head in many circumstances. We are a witness of anger all around us and also in world affairs. There is a great spiritual lesson in self restraint and being a Master of ourselves. Yet this is the goal and purpose of our lives.