Message #27547

[guest88]

I have recognized some of my personality quirks that cause me to become trapped in the Ego.
One is my aggression towards my shortcomings.... I should not feel so aggressive, and in a sense this is all Ego derived from the idea of who or what I want to be misguided into who or what I should be. While it's mostly directed towards myself- because I so easily apply it in thoughts, aggression intentionally or unintentionally is displayed to others(gods creations) and creates further suffering. It needs to be removed/cleansed/understood in order to free myself from this entrapment.

The other, fear of death. I have been told to place this on the back-burner while another aspect of me feels I must keep it on the front of mind- I have been consoled from a friend that this fear of death is akin to fear of a new job and once it's time to go through the motions, it won't be all that bad. At the core of it, it is the idea of losing this identity- this is becoming quite possibly a laughing matter since I so desperately wish to dissolve the identity to become immersed in Gods Love at all times.

The other is agitation, developed from an intolerance because of my own idea's of how Life should be. What's worse is the impatience for Loved ones when one comes close to the intolerant mind, which is developed from the Egoic personality. While I constantly try to battle these feelings-there are even more of these ensnaring realities being highlighted. I should be grateful and yet I realize just how small I really am, it is my hopes to completely rid myself of these things and be with God at all times.

It is very hard to carry the realization that God exist in all of us on a day to day basis. Not only this but idea's of the past or future disturb the present- the interacting of and with the gifts from God. Longings for past, desires of future- all a distraction it would seem.

Any thoughts?