How is it that people looking for a helping hand tend to overlook the one at the end of their own arm?
Something about ambivalence. It is much like mixed nuts at the bottom of a can and mixed feelings underneath and at the bottom of someone's feelings-- they are both to be avoided because they leave an awful salty aftertaste.
Maybe in many instances it is good to have friends at a distance to avoid such feelings and to accentuate positive feelings.
I want to say this. I think that enlightenment is the end of all mixed feelings. Until then, we will be stuck in mixed feelings over something or other because that is the nature of mind - it is fragmentation, broken up, muddy.
There is no clarity. There is the internal friction of thoughts battling each other. The waves on the water are constantly shaking.
An enlightened person, on the other hand, does not have these internal divisions. In a sense, she is whole-ly.
Does any of that resonate with you?
We can talk about what it is like to be enlightened but we often find ourselves dealing with real to life situations in which we have yet to rise above. In many circumstances it is difficult to expose ourselves to the constant presence of others who trigger and instigate drama in and around us. In many instances it may be wise to maintain a comfortable distance.