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Title: Personal Lives Post by: Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us? on Mar 06, 2010 02:46 pm Many of us have chosen personal lives that exclude others in one way or another. It should not surprise anyone that because of this it is difficult or even impossible to have 'secret' relationships or activities. How can one be able to be involved beyond a certain level of personal commitment that has already been established with a partner? This is one reason i have not chosen the route of a family or marriage in my life. There are very few people who have a solid enough marriage that they can trust the friendship of people outside of marriage. Or let us say there are certain barriers or walls that are understood limitations of relationships with other human beings. All you have to do is ask someone how much they want to have you get to know their spouse to recognize this. For this reason i have learned through out the years that it is better not to get too close to others who are married. i have learned that very difficult and unfortunate things can happen because of this. i wanted to bring this up because i have seen many people ignore the feelings of their spouses about such behavoir or rather try to keep it 'secret' not realizing that these behavioral patterns eventually come out in the open sometimes with very unfortunate consequences. It is not just a problem that can damage a marriage but it usually leaves the outsider with nothing but the absence of a fine friendship.
Sometimes we do not care enough about the feelings and lives of others outside of our marriage and seek to be very personal with others when we know it will upset our partners. Here i am speaking about any relationships (friends of opposite sexes or friends of same sexes) outside of marriage not just amorous ones. It eventually also beomes a very hurtful thing to those outside of their marriage. This is not a topic i choose to bring up but rather felt somewhat forced to because other people at times see me as 'cold' because i have a respect for the relationships that they have already commited themselves too. This topic is also part of spiritual life. If we find it difficult to meditate we must also look at our moral standards and our regards for the feelings of others. Disregard of the feelings of others is not compatible with a spiritual life nor to calmness in meditation. Sincerely Steve Title: Re: Personal Lives Post by: blue nova on Apr 19, 2010 11:37 pm Quote to learn to love another more than one's self?. ok...and when one soul learns this and then realizes that the other will not,,,at least in this lifetime,,,,then what ? and what if...the 'other' half is abusive....? steve wrote: Quote It is not just a problem that can damage a marriage but it usually leaves the outsider with nothing but the absence of a fine friendship. sometimes yes...sometimes not. it all depends..on the Divinity of Bonds....and the karma of the souls iinvolved. i believe...?? (((Hugs))) Title: Re: Personal Lives Post by: Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us? on Apr 21, 2010 08:29 am Blue Nova Namaste2All and others Pranams to my brothers and sisters which to me is the most important family to have: A spiritual family.
All others are some form of bondage in the sense that no one can understand the most important part of our lives: The spiritual side of life and how can others we associate with help us if they refuse to acknowledge a spiritual life? How can we help them? If others refuse to than we must eventually gravitate to those who are our true brothers and sisters not to just blood lines and associates. Why did Jesus say that his human family was not his true family? I do not regret for one minute limiting my time with family members and friends who had no connection with a true spiritual life. Now if we feel great love towards others that is spiritual in a sense also and there are times in our lives that we meet people and are with people who do not profess to any spiritual life yet exemplify spiritual qualities. Yet our company, to much extent determines our behavior. We do not always change circumstances immediately and we do much to change circumstances by changing ourselves. Steve Hydonus Title: Re: Personal Lives Post by: flying squirrel on Apr 21, 2010 12:58 pm a spiritual family is a blessing to have 8)
with each small step we take, it is one step towards changing the world, let us walk together in peace ! Title: Re: Personal Lives Post by: blue nova on Apr 21, 2010 01:30 pm sometimes letting go of those whom keep us anchored in maya...is what a soul on Path must do. no one....will take me or try to stop me from God....soul, must put foot down..... sooo....some of those steps are now being taken. (((Hugs))) |