Spiritual Portal

This can be taken as a boasting, "hot-air balloon" kind of way as well as a intentionally or unintentionally negative harmful kind of way.

I am speaking about the latter but leave this topic open for additional perspectives...

My Sister and my Father have both grown accustomed to using their words in a belittling way. I don't think they're always conscious of it either.

For example...

This morning I ask my Sister,
"Are you coming to yoga practice today?"

Her reply-
"Once you let me get off the phone."

Yoga class did not start until an hour after our call. You might assume I was the one chatting up a storm. But she actually called me and asked me for a favor, and I think I actually only spoke asking two different questions in our entire minute and a half phone call.

My Father replies usually like this...
"Hey Dad- did you say you were coming home after the pub?"

"Well I sleep here don't I?"

And many such instances, where the words and the energy comes off as unwelcoming and often at the cost of making the other feel like a dumbass.
I don't need to give all the examples to tell you my personal dilemma with this, and I have had to become conscious of the behavior my self so as to be careful with how I speak to my Mother or my Boss or others. It's a learned behavior.

I used to get angry and distance my self from what eventually felt a little abusive energetically speaking. I still keep my guard up around my Sister and my Dad and don't involve myself if I don't have to. But I try not to take offense either. What does it say about my own Ego and letting others take advantage of that? I learned in Yoga that sometimes Sis and Dad aren't aware they are doing this and the times they are aware, it's to satisfy their ego. But do I let myself take it so personal? Just another entrapment. I feel a sense of relief if I can detach from the directed energy attack and still share Love. Often my Sister regrets when she speaks certain ways, and though my Dad would not admit it- I think he may at times too. I know deep down he loves me so very much, and I know he's cried and prayed for me- as well as my Sister.

I've tried talking to them about this but the opportunity is never really conducive, and the behavior goes on. But what I can do is learn to respond in a creative manner, learn not to take things so offensively and learn to give my confidence to God who is the real healer and true master. I think perhaps we can help ourselves, and others, without a need to speak directly on the subject. I guess this is an, actions over words kind of moment.

Meditation has shown me a few things... And one is how little attention we actually give each other and how we let our irritabilities and impatience spread through our words and mannerisms.

My Sister and my Father like feeling as if their words are the most correct way of viewing life, it's become habitual to reply in derogatory manners when a yes or no would suffice- and the cost is hurting the ones they love most. But maybe I am born in this family unit to help alleviate these karmic forming patterns.

Gurunaths war cry for us all...
"Self Peace for Earth Peace"

Jai Gurudev