Spiritual Portal

There are people with many demands we meet in our lives. They can become possessed by their desires and egotistical obsessions. There is really very little we can do for them that will satisfy their insatiable requests. Being kind is the best solution. While distancing ourselves from such demands.

Where I'm at in life,

I have desires and expectations and I continue to strive towards them, exploring my confidence so to speak. Some expectations are unrealistic but I continue to pursue my desires. I try to do so in a way that I have an awareness and respect for boundaries. I also do so in a way to speak my own boundaries rather than shy away and leave someone with a cold shoulder. Having been on the receiving end of being ignored- I have the desire to practice verbalizing whether I am or am not continuing a relationship.


A good example is pursuing a potential love interest- physical or emotional. Or making amends with toxic friendships. My ego might think I am owed something, but being rejected in my pursuits makes it clear how I feel about someone is not necessarily reality. Not that my desires are wrong, but that my expectations are unrealistic. In this pursuit I try to be confident but not aggressive, and give the desired party a chance to speak their truth. It's one thing to say you are not interested- another thing to ignore a person and leave them to figure it out the hard way. There's no fault here. Just that I've been on the receiving end of a cold shoulder with friends and lovers and realize I would at least want the other to know whether I want to continue a relationship or not.

I tried giving two examples in there so I hope it makes sense. Being kind is a solution yes and I am thinking it's fair to add to the equation- to practice courage or boldness with both pursuing and establishing boundaries. It can really take the edge off- even if you have to wrestle through a little anxiety and awkward tension with the other. I find relinquishing expectations after voicing your desire tends to offset any awkwardness.

Often people verbalize their ‘boundaries’ and those ‘boundaries’ are a projection of their own ego. To the extent that they make boundaries that express demands and unrealistic expectations.

I will give example here; to invade another country and expect people their to accept someone’s imprisonment of dessert  or to expect others to change their religious views to more closely resemble their views is expecting too much. That is my personal view.  People change in their own time and not under force, nor do they need to tolerate an oppressive force upon them by outside sources. That is also my view.

Thanks for the long thought out response Eric….

How do you determine if your needs/desires and standards are not too demanding and your expectations not to high?

My personal experience, as an individual living his life in his immediate reality- a humble job and living with family. No political or high powered authority.

I learn life has a way!  :D It's all, learning.  :) Grateful God allows me to dance with Him!

An example I'm capable of giving is, pursuing a woman who tells her friend she finds me attractive. My ego in all of its grand assumptions is lead to believe, because she finds me attractive she is my girl. So I fantasize about this girl and go for her number. She gives it. Only to tell me she doesn't like me.  :D No harm no foul. On to the next grand adventure. Boundaries are respected, and I continue to explore intimate interest in this manner.

The other example is a friend who expected by apologizing to me that we would start hanging out again. I accepted the apology, I voiced that I did not want to hang out again. I told him I harbor no ill-will and wished him well in his journey.

Seems he got the message and is respecting that decision.

I am fortunate as well to have gone through plenty of awkward relationships to feel a sense of confidence with voicing boundaries and learning ultimately how to respect the wishes of others.

Not sure if this helps answer your question... But those were the two examples I was trying to reference in the first post.

I'm also starting to wonder if too much of something means unreciprocated or repressed emotions?

For me, getting out my repressed emotions was in pursuing and communicating my interest- even being rejected is rewarding because it allows me to explore a part of my self and come to terms with the reality of a situation in a less and less destructive manner.

Love and respect are noble qualities. We may not always exemplify it- but every moment is a new opportunity.