Spiritual Portal

Recently, while writing to someone this title came up in the subject title area as I began to type... a synchronistic event.  It seemed pertinent  to myself as well as others who have come into my life. It seems that often because of practical concerns or geographical proximity we often choose friends and lovers that do not sufficiently reflect our spiritual goals in life. We may even let others drift away from us that may be better for our spiritual environment in a misguided attempt to deal with current situations or a karmic tie to past encounters that no longer reflect our current spiritual aspirations. I have found this to be a concern when I myself have choices to make in who I decide to let in my life.

Each soul is utterly unique, no?  I mention this because what might seem like misguided activity to one may not seem – or even be - misguided to another; it may actually be a necessary part of one’s spiritual evolution to experience what and who they do, and when – and within which circumstances.  It seems to me that friends are simply friends; you feel them, you celebrate them – you enjoy their company when they are there, and miss them when they are gone – but one does not weigh and measure the intent of a friend, or analyze their life – or have expectations, etc.  Sometimes old (soul) friends appear when we need a little support.  Sometimes they come when we need a push in the tush, and they look more like an enemy than a friend.  Sometimes no matter how great the desire, there is no friend to be felt.  All of this is as it is, and I trust there is a good reason behind it.  Time is also a very funny thing.  We use words like ‘current’ and ‘aspiring’ which both imply a sense of time and movement, but really…. we are who we are, and a friend is a friend is a friend.  Does this make any sense?  It isn’t what we do that connects us so much as who we are.

Example.  While in France I met a lady – a wonderful, wonderful lady – and we quite quickly became friends despite generational, linguistic, religious and cultural differences.  I use the word ‘became’ in the earthly sense, meaning we had no prior knowledge of each other, on the surface had little in common, and yet, there was a feeling of family between us instantly.  Why?  Because we did not ‘become’ friends.  We were friends already.  I did not ‘let’ her in my life – she was just suddenly in it!  Who knows why?  Maybe she felt my need for support.  Maybe God wanted us to have a little fun.  Maybe she needed something I was able to give.  I feel very blessed that I was allowed to recognize her and be flooded with all the warmth that comes with such.  But!  I will likely not see her again on earth.  We may write on occasion, but communication often wanes.  Do I love her less?  No way!  Do I rearrange my entire life to spend more time with her?  No!  Not practical!  But, a friend is a friend is a friend and I shall love her always – locked in to keep.  True friends are gifts.  You cannot go out and just choose yourself a gift – it has to be given – and also accepted.  We can present ourselves as gifts when the feeling moves us, but… there is no guarantee the other is in a place where they can or want to accept.  It does not make them less of a friend.  It makes them just like you – on a particular path.

Another example; my husband of these past 22 years is also a friend.  In the same manner, we had little on the surface in common when we met.  We embarked on a life adventure anyway – because there was that deep, unmistaken soul recognition.  We made mistakes!  We did some things well.  We laughed, we yelled, we cried and we were silent, too.  That marriage is over.  But!  A friend is a friend is a friend.  Perhaps I could have spent those decades in a cave, or in a convent – or some kind of spiritual retreat, or seeking a mate whose aspirations exactly met mine  - but that is not what I needed for growth.  Where would the challenge be in that?  I needed to experience tangible, messy, beautiful life.  I got what I needed in the material sense (lessons learned through being a wife, mother, partner, etc.) and thank God, I still got what I needed on the spiritual plane (to play out some earthly roles with a real friend.)

Now I am rambling, and I feel I’ve reached the limit on how many times a person can use the word ‘friend’ and still be credible.  Lol.  Just some thoughts your post brought to mind.  Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts, too.  S.

 :)

!!??

There are times in our life that we recognise the gravity... the depth of encounters and we r often lost in the impact of the moment. We feel the emotional release.... the catharsis... we feel in tune with the feelings and thoughts of others. It is a good feeling. Silence, at times is the best language if we can express it in a way that others do not feel offended. Shannon: Thanks so much for opening up and sharing!

Om Tat Sat

Hi McCoy – sadly, yes.  I may seem cavalier now, but there have been months of soul shaking pain. It’s a process – and in going through it, I realize not all of that pain came from just my marriage.  It’s older than that.  So, in this way, it is good that I go through the inner work.  Perhaps I can finally be free of certain demons.  My challenge is to embrace the change without letting bitterness set in.  I aim for compassion.  Most days I succeed.  Some nights I do not – not fully yet, anyway.  My husband experienced a midlife crisis.  Some call it crisis.  Maybe a more positive term is ‘epiphany’.  This is not something I can fix.  It has been humbling, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. 

Steve, it’s amazing how many people I have heard from recently out of the blue – friends and family from far away who sensed my pain though they could not have possibly ‘known’ it was there. Such serendipities reinforce my faith in the Mysterious.

 :)

Your presence is greatly appreciated here! Thanks for opening up to us and revealing yourself a bit!

Many of us have gone thru these irrevocable changes (myself included). It is amazing to find such coldness in others when such warmth was once present. Thru time we often recognize that their presence served to stimulate illusions rather then to highlight hope and uplifting transformation. Proclaimed Love should at least b able to give kindness at its loss... but apparently some people can not even do that.

Fortunately for us the great ones do have a plan for us that does include happiness in our lives. Slow by slow we recognize the kindness God provides. We might not have even expected from what corner assauging comfort and reassurance unexpectedly emerge.

Heck, Shannon, sorry to hear that, I hope the kids are not overly affected. From what my slow brain can grasp they should be with you now.

Shannon 

u often get me thinkin' and reviewing my own outlooks. This time is no different.

There is much to sift thru here and I may add or perhaps even subtract to this post. Perhaps  u did not need a response but it seems to me that when someone writes such a personal testimony and with their views included that it warrants a response.

I do believe your view of friends is somewhat different then my own.... not better or worst... but different. No doubt many of our views r the same...we may have just not have thought of one another's as much as our own.

I have quite a few people come in and out of my life as perhaps u do also. Many of them want something from me. I suppose we all want something from someone else. Yet there is only so much we can give. It is nice feeling to have soneone else give to us also. It seems like part of the equation... otherwise it might not add up. This often brings awareness of who we have time for and who has time or will make time for us.

I remember hearing a lecture once by Brother Anandamoy in which he said; 'when u see people together for long periods of time it is not a coincidence. These people have done a lot of work at their relationships, lifetimes  of work.'

The very fortunate form of communication  we have today is the internet. So we actually can go on being friends with others at quite a distance  without, perhaps even having had met them.

We do meet people on the way that I call circumstantial contacts. They r more like associates that we by hap stance r drawn in their presence for a time... then we may never see them or hear from them again this lifetime.

Then there r twinsouls, soulmates and divine friends. These r contacts from life to life and we maintain our relationships with them because we know we r here to help them in the long haul and they r here to help us. They
r of a similar frequency to our own and  we r helping one another towards liberation. The Master tells us to especially b helpful to such a spiritual family.

"Sometimes old (soul) friends appear when we need a little support.  Sometimes they come when we need a push in the tush, and they look more like an enemy than a friend."

I really liked what u wrote above. It made me smile!!

U r quite a creativery-cherry person shannon. U have shared some of your creativity with us at yogachacha.org. I hope u do with others here as well. I especially would like to read your poetry again and hope u leave us a link for it here in our creating a mid-section(lost it there): 'Art and Creative Expressions'.

All of us r different Shannon....but speaking for myself... i just can't imagine being/living with someone who does not have similar spiritual aspirations and meditates. It is not just for me but for the other person as well. They would quickly find my routine of energization, meditation and reading spiritual material boring to them. If not it would eventually arise when someone else wants to do something else for 'entertainment' and your interests just do not coincide. One person wants to see a saint or be in a spiritually uplifting place while the other wants to go to a sports occasion or golfing etc.  i believe that if we have genuine spiritual aspirations we eventually find others around us who do not have such interests; fall out of our lives. Then there are those who take their place who reinforce our highest aspirations and interests. i have seen this in my own life.

You have a lot of spiritual affinities and were born into this life with an interest in beauty, poetry and with spiritual good karma. It may b more accurate to say that one such as yourself has already withdrew into a world of one's own beauty and was dedicated to an art and/or a spiritual life. Even in this lifetime the desire is strong. As like any ascetic it is necessary to develop these talents and the ability to gain the trust of others (which you have done) in an atmosphere of solitude...which you have done somewhere in the distant past.  This shows thru in your spiritual evolution and is not just my observation but those of spiritual seekers who i have learned from their wisdom and insight. Your spiritual journey this life is tied in strongly with others and your service with them.

It is difficult to part from what we really are. We eventually come to a recognition of our true nature and become aware of the fact that there are others around us who leave our lives or we leave them because they just cannot really understand what we have learned and what we practice as 'old souls' Of course because of karmic reasons we may continue to communicate at a superficial level but we realize that a chapter of our lives has come to a close.

Be True to Yourself

This is the time to fight if you are ready
or this is the time to change your beliefs
This is the time to live all your passions
This is the time to show how you feel

If its not real
You don't want to hold it
If its not real how can you go with it?
If it not you
It will show thru
If nothing else
Be true to yourself

Sometimes your life has no meaning
That's when your faith must show thru
Somehow, somewhere there will be an answer
and all your efforts will bear fruit

This is the time to look in the mirror
This is the time to ask to see clearer

If its not real
You don't want to hold it
If its not real how can you go with it?
If it not you
It will show thru
If nothing else
Be true to yourself

J.

It's always been interesting to me how details of this nature can transform the attitudes and thoughts of others.

I appreciate Steve's optimistic outlook on such events, and that is probably the right way we shoul regard them.

Human emotions are often quite complicated. I can understand the feelings that shannon speaks of but when we say God we may be talking about two different things from two different people. In the same way when we talk about relationships we are talking about the views of two different people. Many things happen to these people and there views change. Relationships  are fluid not static. What we had once is often very different now. But we must remember it is all good. We get this view in retrospect. When we are in the process it is often difficult for our feelings which may be out of place with current circumstances. It's just quite a lesson... these experiences we have with others.

Aint that the truth.

Thank you Steve - I appreciate your reaching out and taking the time to respond - putting your thoughts on 'paper'.  Much food for thought there.  This is a very difficult time for me, and so it is not easy or even possible at times to form ideas into coherent words. I have attempted to reply a few times but everything that comes out feels forced and contrite.  That said, I didn't want another day to go by without at least a 'thank you'.  So, thank you!  I am spending a lot of time these days just being - doing simple things that make me happy, and trying to get a handle on my emotions. I read a lot, and paint - meditate - take care of the children.  Bought myself a bodhran a couple of weeks ago; something I've wanted for many years, and so when I feel I am about to burst I practice rhythms.  Ha ha.  life's a trip.  :-)

McCoy, yes the children are with me.  They are certainly impacted, but we will do our best.  Our home is peaceful.  I am considering adding a dog to our little family in the summertime. The holidays are trying with all the nostalgia, but I will go to my family on the West coast soon for a love filled visit. My husband is still in the picture and is very sorrowful about how he chose to make his exit, etc and we will always be friends - I know this in my core - but at the moment, I prefer to avoid his presence because my main emotion despite all is that of profound betrayal.  Listening to his apologies and professions of how this is the best for all of us (so that we can grow) should be some consolation, but if I am homest, deep down, I am still raging - and it impacts my health.  c'est la vie!  <3

c'est la vie! comme ci comme ça! Dance with me, say ooo yah yah! U have very fortunate children!

Interesting. i had a dream which you were a part of last nite about the time you wrote this entry. Telepathy?

Around here i drive a semi truck during the week and perform music on weekends. It's been a trail of artists, photographers, musicians and meditators coming over to visit or occasionally i visit them on the weekends. Two of them dropped by from the Oregan and out west area this week end. Outwardly, life seems much different then in California. But really it is still about serving God, meditation and learning in this big school we r in.

Oh; that Bodhran is claimed to have celtic roots.... a culture i have seemed to attract close relations with. It seems that when i pick up the mandolin that connection arises rather spontaneously to the  British Isles. Someday i hope to hear you play the Bodhran with some of the mandolin songs that showed me such things from a distant past.

i do not expect anyone to make sense. No sense makes sense. Rite? That's nonsense. Actually; at a deeper level it is beyond sense. Quite often when i find coherent words it bores people or scares them off. Life IS a trip! A double ha ha back!

sentiments chaleureux

It is challenging----Making peace with our past. The impact of relationships is so intense that it makes profound changes and awareness realizations for years to come and perhaps even a lifetime. To me the only long time cure and relief is time itself and new people who come in our life that we find affinity with in our life long search for meaning, purpose and learning. As long as we r caught up in the things that others have done to us---we still r in karmic residue. When we finally start to let go of our astonishment of what happened and how others acted we begin to let go of the karma we share with those people. Otherwise the emotional bond of turmoil continues.

We basically have to love ourselves. That means loving the past as well and realizing it was never quite like it seemed.. nor were the people in it quite like they seemed. But this is true of life itself. We live so much in our own minds and our own projections. We make people into what we think but not what they are. Of course it does not help to have others play up to such projections.

Reality is always much different then what we have thought. But this works both ways. People can turn out much more valuable to us also and others just do not stand the test of time.

A little OT but, Steve, sooner or later you'll have to post a pic of the semitruck you drive, they are fascinating vehicles indeed, especially the American models.
In the cockpit there must be vast room to meditate.

Something like this?

(http://recallattorneygroup.com/semitruck/wp-content/uploads/sites/7/2014/04/Semi-Truck-Safety.jpg)

Shannon

I have started a welcome for u, a prayer thread and a astrology area. U  seem to gravitate to this section....so i will write accordingly. i believe we have more choices then we allow ourselves. Habit is such a strong conditioned reflex that we often close ourselves off to  the possibilities. That has been my personal experience. What once seemed natural and  part of my life now seems so distant and not applicable to my current life. At one level i would like to drag those people back into my life but they just don't fit my growing awareness. Perhaps this rings true with u as well. Sometimes the big actresses/actors in our life just seem to fade away.... the karma lingering on as we try to make sense of it all. Desire and karma are rather interesting in retrospect but going thru it is a whole different matter. Some of the 'lites' in our life have always been there. We may have not noticed their significance as more dazzling spectacles crowded the front stage.

I believe I am a long ways from the script of life being written out like I would like to have seen it. But day by day i also realize how ridiculous my desires have been to rule the world instead of experience the unfolding show. Our ego is caught up with being something while our spirit recognizes the moments of just being.



Steve

We live thru different incarnations in this body as well. They r defined by the relationships or the aloneness we have experienced at different times of our lives. Like past lives some of these people have faded from our present life as well.

I believe  what is most important  to us and to me in particular is that we are able to get to know you. This has been difficult in the past because you focused your life so singularly on your family. Don't you feel as though you are letting more people into your life now? We have been communicating on and off again for years and as u know we share many memories from our days at yoganandaji which i do not intend to stop unless for some reason it becomes necessary to take a break. By the way we appreciate your picture... so much Scorpio there. But that is another topic I intend to continue in another area.

Everybody's different, take me for example.

Shannon May i add this;

We are who we are. Yet what we were is not what we are. Our discovery on the path from life to life and even in this life makes us quite different in our approach to ourselves and others. Time acts like an act of attrition wearing away the sharp edges and creating a diamond over many lives. We are who we are but how many have really recognized who we really are? How many play out roles that are worn out and no longer serve any useful function? The role we are playing out today is quite different then the one we played out as teenagers and the costume and script we are rehearsing this life time is quite different then other lives we have lived.

Our motivations change. Our ideas change. Our friends change. Our partners change. All the result of an unfolding and awakening consciousness.

J.

I like that other theory too, we are what we are from a sum of past actions.

Our consciousness and awareness evolve. Spirit is constant.  The roles we play change.  The perfection that is our soul is steadfast.  The rest is peeling onion skin.  When I use the word 'friend', I am referring to the Spirit in me seeing Spirit in others.  We are who We are.  One day, as the layers fold back, we shall be able to see all people as friends, and recognize that one thing which never changes.

Yes and old souls gather around one another. they get closer and closer to the center of the tornato. there is calm. everything else is thrown off in a centrifugul force. As we get closer to that calm in the center we are the force that holds others in our orbit so everything that is out there is part of the force we ourselves r part of. Nothing is more reliable then the friends close to the center because everything else can be thrown out from the center of orbit. It is our struggle to work against opposing forces that are taking us outward from the center of spiritual gravity.

How do you guys come up with that stuff?

i believe she will laugh, smile and love again. Isn't that what it's all about ?

If that's how it's accomplished, then of course. I'm out of the loop nevermind me.

i have never interpreted her responses  to me as anything more then friendly correspondence. If they r i am unaware of it. I would never consider u  'out of the loop' Your friendship and communications r valued by me.

Wow you went in an even further direction, it's amazing how we think others know what we're talking about. I wonder how often every day I get misinterpreted just with routine interactions. Is the computer-cell phone-convenience age to blame?

Hi SpiritImage - I was wondering what you meant by how do we come up with that stuff - lol.  Do you mean literally, or was it a joke, or???  Not sure!  Let me know.  :-)

Steve, I hear you - I think. Good points.  As you probably intuited, I am entering a new phase of life.  The past couple of months have been a self-imposed hermit-stage for me; I am taking stock, reflecting, analyizing a bit - and meditating more than before.  It is a time for lessons learned, new beginnings, endings, etc.  In short, I am trying to find 'me' again - which means a lot of alone time.  After much soul searching, I have to say - we are who we are.  Part of who I am is... an extremely loyal person.  C'est vrais!  Once I love someone, it is a life long love.  Just is.  Doesn't mean I will spend my days with the various people I have loved, especially if their path is not perfectly aligned with mine or they no longer serve my growth.   Doesn't mean I will wait for them to want to spend their days with me, either.  But... I recognize a certain bond no matter the details of life, and that bond is pure.  In this way, I always leave doors open.  Never burn bridges.  Whenever I feel inclined to do so, I step back and reflect.  My marriage ending after so many years has not been pleasant, but not all is lost.  There is still love and mutual respect between my husband and I, and the children too.  We have shared so much.  That doesn't happen by accident. We will continue to share, I am certain - although to a lessor degree, and perhaps someday not at all in a tangible sense.  Still, I feel blessed to have had the experiences I have had.  I expect future blessings, too!  The calmest place is not within a tight circle of friends whose aspirations match our own. The calmest place is in our own hearts, which weathers storms come what way.  Only God and we know what is in our own hearts.  The rest is window dressing, no matter how 'spiritual' or 'advanced' the players in our lives may seem.  It is good to seek like company, but sometimes the greatest lessons come from adversity - and I am far from longing for a life of God-communion in a cave.  I am alive, on Earth - in a body - why should I want to pretend I am not?  We shall all be dead soon enough (again).  Food for thought.

Shannon and others interested.

Because of our background thru many lives we all see things from our own life lessons and experiences. Yet when we brush with someone else i have found that at such times we r called to respect and understand their views and experiences. This is what i make an attempt at doing.

We could have made these forums into a music forum or a sports forum. But u and I did not do that shannon. That is for me the reason I have attracted such wonderful people here and now they r part of what we r creating and will create. i think that we can recreate ourselves. Who will  join me in that purpose?

The world will spend it's time on so many engagements that will take us away from the true purpose of life and there r many people who will want us to spend endless time on useless activities. We have a purpose. U know that purpose. When we r sincere in our purpose we r eventually led to those with the same sincerity and we will find our lives so filled with responsibilities and people that we have to make certain choices what those circumstances and who those people will b.

That's my silliloque  for the day. Ha Ha (I like that). Thank your lucky stars it's not too long!

Hope all is finding u happy my friend. It has been quite a journey with many crazy people and circumstances. We have shared many laughs and joys Ha Ha! There may b many years ahead and then the great beyond! It seems exciting to me I hope u r there to share it.

Well, both, sort of. Just the way words are brought into what's trying to be conveyed, like, "whirlwinds of diamonds washing ashore awakening the very soul to the floodgate called heaven that is the calm in the eye of the mind tornado", stuff like that. I don't ever think like that or write like that but I do read a lot of written text like it.



I think everyone needs to be alone, which is different than loneliness. I used to live alone for many past years. I meditate alone, and think alone. It's funny that it contradicts the spirit body as whole.

Lol SpiritImage!  I had to go back and re-read to see how over the top either of us may have gotten.  Wasn't too bad, I don't think!  Ha ha. :)  Cannot speak for Steve, but when trying to write about spiritual concepts, I probably tend toward metaphors - because it's difficult to describe them otherwise. :)

Thanks for the thoughtful reply, Steve.  Somewhere near the middle I mentally heard Dorris Day singing "Que serra, serra!" Lol!  I respect you as a person and try to grasp your meaning though I may not always catch your drift - and appreciate your attempting to understand mine.  I am not trying to convince anyone of anything.  Just sharing personal thoughts and observations.  :)

There once was a way homeward. But One really never reaches home. But where paths that have an affinity for each other intersect, the whole world looks like home, for a time.The things we see are the same things that are within us.

There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will e
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.


My drift is a snow drift right now. I'm snowed in. Which means i too may just b mirroring u. So yes i am trying to understand. It is nice sharing the time getting to know u and others here..some r Standard...some Mobile.  Do u realize that this is the first time u have come out of your sea shell? U lived a sheltered existance all these years I have been acquainted  to one such as yourself. A Shell! If u get 'snowed in' by my drift please just ask. I will make an effort at a clear honest answer. The meaning is a sincere effort at getting to know u.... that is my drift.

I have found that friendship and love is based on understanding. When an effort at understanding ceases so does friendship and love. This is because of two reasons. 1. people come to a recognition of current insurmountable differences and an impasse is often the result.  2. People like what they see and friendship and/or love increases.

Wow.  Really??? Mercury is surely in retrograde, for I feel rather offended by your seashell comment, Steve. Was that your intention? Lol! To tell someone you barely know something like that seems... frankly, a little bananas to me.

U don't like sea shells? Apologies never meant it to hurt u....just that I think it took quite a bit to get u to come 'out of your shell.' That is a common expression. The sea shell just adds the sound of the ocean! The sound of om. That's the sound I often hear when I practice the om technique.... like when u listen in a big shell. The bananas left the classroom. They'll b back though. I'm sure there are others that think I'm a little bananas. I'm not offended. It's a craziness  I was born with....after a while I have learned to live with it. U will too if u ever decide to go a little bananas with one such as myself. Being a little Sunoco....makes me feel rite at home and not so Standard.

U used to tell me 'don't take things so personally' well maybe it's advice for both of us.

.........and added to all this.....u r rite mercury is retrograde.

It's alright. Thank u.  :)  I love seashells. Have tons of them!  Love to beachcomb with the children, which we do fairly often.  We bring them home by the bagful, hotglue them to glass jars - but they rarely stick to glass for very long.  I find them in the strangest places once they've popped off.  Love bananas, too.  Even overripe ones, perfect for banana bread, which I made this morning. I've heard that brown bananas are actually quite good for our bodies; a kind of superfood.   I hear what you are saying about coming out, but what a person shares online or with whom, when or why is really a tiny sliver of what is.  I've been around, my friend!  What seems a seashell to you might be one of its chambers to me - so please don't box me in pointed assumptions. It's not right.  Not right, but no biggie, becuase that OM sound travels if one is listening, and well, even if one isn't. Lol. Something like five more days to go before communication is semi-normal, and my house is chaos.  Anything that can go wrong has - even burned the banana bread a little!

Wow hee hee we may go bananas together yet! I love banana nut bread and not too much a fan of fruit cakes myself.

(http://i1281.photobucket.com/albums/a519/jfine7/nopics.gif)

Like banana bread too, but processed flour and sugar ruins it for me.

LOL where did u come up with those cheezy smiles. The weather is better. The Sun is out today! Those kind of days r always welcome! i can go out jogging and meditating/energizing in the park!

'SRFers should marry SRFers. It’s different life styles. Others don’t understand our way of life – as we understand theirs.' ~Brother Bhaktananda

Sorry no pictures. But do u know the difference between a snowman and snow woman?
Snow balls.