Spiritual Portal

while seeing amma she made the comment that those who give others the silent treatment and stick their nose up in the air actually have a form of mental illness. sometimes we wonder about ourselves when this treatment is given to us however we should realize that people do practice meanness and this kind of behavior is a result of being so wrapped up in ourselves and our ego that there is only one view; our own.

Jitendra

hey Jitendra !  8)

ever think of the possibility that life could be presenting people with a detour ?

and what is thought " silent treatment " isn't really so ?

I travel from branch to branch, exploring the forest  ;D

not always available for communication

maybe take amma saying with grain of salt ? or pepper ? 
adds to flavor of a meal  ;D 8)

Confucious say " man who walks with nose in air, trips over own feet "  :o

Definatlely; for the person that the silemt treatment is given to there is a detour..
understanding where the problem lies gives the determination to move on.
When we see and understand such detours we know there is nothing  we can do
to help. All we can do is wait till the path becomes clear again. It is important to read
the signs that others put up. Jumping from tree to tree is one thing. However; if a friend
is consistantly unavailable we understand that we can only wait for them to realize
where the problem lies or we can decide to never return to that road again. It is best to recognise
the symptoms of illness. It can save you from undeserved grief. Some people leave a trail
littered with pain and sorrow. Until they recognize this there is nothing you can do to help.
It is wise to get a grasp of that fact.

 In the long or short of it some of us come around to mirror us back simplified. Some people
become so complicated in the conundrums of their thoughts and feelings that its good to look
in the clear mirror of simplification to save us from exhaustion.

"if a friend is consistently unavailable "....
no detour there, fact of life
times change, people change
life goes on

if looking to simplify, let go
give it up dude !  ;D 8)

hey amma ! bit of a stretch calling silent treatment mental illness

some people are forever some people get well thank God for that.
her understanding is beyond a stretch. It is limitless. There is more
than one story that proves that. I am fortunate that I have not
given up.

good for you  8)

I do not know if this makes sense to you
but your presence has always given me
clarity. One does not have to agree to help
someone else this is an important lesson
I have learned about life. When we think
outside our rigid attitudes it is amazing what
can happen to our consciousness. Having
the training of higher guides makes us realize
that our wisom is foolishness compared to
the unfolding awareness they are bringing us.

Thanks for your squizdom my friend. God works
thru everything, every situation if we could but
see with an open heart.

Muteness

it is in sharing that we learn from one another

thanx for the opportunity  8)

Hi squirrel. Mental illness is not an uncommon feature in spiritual
seekers. People who travel the edges of reality easily slip
into the abyss. Yet to me it is worth the risk rather than
traveling the safe and sure path that leads to spiritual amnesia and
death in normalicy. We must recognize that we-like the
earth itself-go thru periodic earthquakes or spiritual siezures
that awaken us to the possibilities of human potential. This
occurs thru illness, social misfunctions or psychiatric problems
to name a vew. People who have spiritual potential developed
from previous expressions eventually awaken to what
has been so awkward in their life that expressed itself
in so many crazy ways. I myself have gone thru such
changes and disruptions in my life. Thank God there
was protection from the higher guides and realms
to help me through.


Later we find ways to incorporate these realizations into our lives
in a way that does not disturb our social life and friendships.
We become more comfortable with our spirituality and find
outlets and friends with similar goals and interests. We learn
the significance of these divine beings who are brought to our aid
and support in our journey towards our home in spirit.

Jitendra

Thanks Nomaste. It is nice to have you with us.

You are clarifying my point. Yes it is for us to recognise that it
is not our karma. When others do this they are creating karma
for themselves and we eventually recognize that they are in fact
 only exhibiting their own state of consciousness. They may have
 an excuse like they are going thru something or thru a transition
but this not explain and long period of silence beween people
who were previously close. When we arr the recipient of such abuse
we should also recognize that when a door shuts on ou face there
are others that are opening.

                                      Jitendra

woaaaaaaaah brother Jitendra !   :o

some harsh judgements

have you walked in their shoes ?

I have always given plenty of chances and requests to respond. Eventually
we have to recognise we have done everything we can to help and it is up to them.
It is enough to walk in my own shoes. As a matter of fact I need to get
a new pair and walk some friendlier paths.

shoes binding, yet necessary  8)

continuous harping on issue, not necessary  ;D

your forum, your choice of course

You don't like my bluesy harp music? Ahh shucks!
Somebody put me on such a high branch to play
it that I suppose by rights, I should climb down
the tree a bit before lettng go of the branch.
Probably should have followed squirrel's advice
before letting others take me up so high. 
yet the view was sooo wonderful and then......
I had to find my way back down.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°***************¤¤¤¤¤¤^^¥¥¥¥[
Our Choice............Our Forum

Sometimes we may harp out of tune but why is it that birds can be like people sometimes? Sometimes they crap on your head when they fly by? Sometimes we just need to buy larger hats that cover our heads and defend our brains. Life is so confusin' sometimes  ;)  ;D Where's the Wizard of Oz when you need him. Oh i forgot ....click my heels together three times....and say, "there's no place like home"  ;D  CRAP! there goes another bird, shessh  :o

Nomaste

U seem to b getting more comfy with humility.

We have some very deep samskaras that we carry with us from the past.
We have looked to satisfy certain desires with others in relationships,
service, desire and otherwise. It is materializatiom of our ideals
trying to find fullfilment in this physical universe. Being guided
by the great ones we are being shone the dusty inner hallways of our consciousnes.
Here lie the hidden corridors of the 'needs' we have harbored
for incarnations. Suddenly the pace of evolution speeds up and
thru tbe use of kriya and other progressive meditation techniques
the pace of our  evolution increases and exposes to  us to all kinds
of associations that are often unresolved emotional power spots.

Jitendra

Well thought out insight Namaste2All. especially this part:

 those that are playing out those roles are serving "me"... that I not fall to that degree again...   that little me, grows in Virya (Moral Courage) and if little me liberates from those seed tendencies (even if they be of little gravity compared to a great alchoholic, or criminal -- well, when little me liberates, it is like a drop of a rock in the pool... and the ripples are sensed by the others in the pool... there arises in all, a portion of insight for liberation....

Others serving us thru their involvement in Maya. I'll keep that in mind next time i feel as though something or someone is difficult. Very interesting outlook Namaste2All.

Jitendra

I have witnessed this in people who have been close to me especially recently. I have to remind myself what she (Amma) has said. Jesus was left by all his friends. Yet he still was able to give love to them. Isn't that an incredible feat?

If we make mistakes a true friend seeing this does not leave us and give us the silent treatment. Seeing where we have
erred he/she is there to help us understand.

Jitendra

There is nothing wrong with practicing silence but some people do it listening to baseball games and other things while not talking to a friend. When one practices silence it is important to ask oneself this: Is it because i hold unfriendly feelings towards someone else?

We have better ways of communicating. The family that has.... :) together stays together.

                                                 the barnicles

Ruff!

Johnny Piglet will be a joinin us for lunch. Y'all welcome now ya hear?

i think this was one of the most important bits of wisdom i heard Amma say and while searching for something here at the portal i came across it again. Kind people just don't treat others this way. We often have to come to the realization that we ourselves project kindness on others when in fact they may not be kind. When we come to the realization they are not; it baffles us.  Amma explains many human liabilities easily and often in a timely manner.

I think this is what you may be facing right now Eric.

Namaste friend. I get the silent treatment plenty and am guilty of giving it too. Todays world is strange. Like texting for example... It makes it super easy to detect when you're being ignored, then to watch others try to be formal about it or make excuses- it's nauseating. We all want to be heard and validated and when we can send each other our thoughts at any given moment, I don't know if it's really a good thing. Now that I am freed from my sales job, I am trying to spend less time carrying that radioactive smart phone around with little success. I guess this is a separate topic concerning health but we are all so addicted to our phones and they've become our primary mode for just about anything we do in life(Pay bills, set schedules, play games, create music, chat with friends)....
Anyways... Yes, girls in particular are very selective in who they respond to on their phones. It seems the ones I talk to always have more then one suitor so the ball is most always in their court. Sometimes it's the other way around, I am the one uninterested and end up ignoring because I don't want to pretend and lead someone on. So it's kind of ironic and makes you really understand what a girl means when she says, "let's just be friends" HAH!

In regards to my previous relationship- good riddens. What an awful relationship that was. We had our innocent and beautiful moments but they've become outweighed by terrible communication, lack of intimacy and a general unwillingness to call things for what they were/are. Her singing voice used to penetrate my soul but now my heart is hardened and I don't care to love this person anymore. It may sound cold hearted but it's liberating. Should our paths cross I hope to maintain a level head since I do carry anger still... Be kind and be in and out of there. Leave me alone is how I feel now.

I am very personable and keep only a small group of friends for a lifetime. Even those who are no longer in communication with me that are my friends, we feel so much love for each other when we see one another. I can't say the same for this person and its okay, I got to focus on forgiving myself and achieving my goals.

This "treatment" has been a window to Love. The purer aspects of it, the intensity of it(even if it's just one sided) and the corrupt aspects as well. I believe Inayat Khan is right to say after we experience this we pursue it in a deeper sense(like with God)... The next woman I experience anything with will be more of an equal and deserving experience. I believe there is someone out there for me and this girl was definitely not the one.

As you know i dealt with a similar situation. Although i became more understanding with time. We can be grateful that we have developed a level of kindness and do not choose to treat others like they may treat us. Perhaps that is part of the test my friend....to return kindness where we have been mistreated. This marks an evolutionary leap in spirituality. Consequently our environment and friends and lovers will also improve. More and more i see kinder and more evolved types in my life. This is because i chose to ignore the transgressions of others and not be foolish and continue to let them harm me but prepared to give love and kindness no matter what the circumstances. Quite often when people who have loved us give us the silent treatment there are great insecurities in them and they are extremely frustrated with themselves.

Hi Steve,
I think what you say is true. I just don’t see me getting over this so easily and I’ve told her why I am walking away which is all she’s wanted me to do anyways. You can be nice to someone but the way you love them is different and that’s fine too. right now I need to cultivate forgiveness on my own transgressions and while I’ve made great strides to my personal goals I am no where near satisfied or close to achieving the lifestyle and goals I seek.
Peace brother  :) thanks for letting me vent and helping me see things from a spiritual perspective

I don’t know what’s happened but I feel happy and peaceful  today. I’m not angry with her anymore and feel wonderfully indifferent. I hope this feeling remains and thank you for the blessings :)

i may have realized this before but often my ego gets in the way. you know, i think of a love a parent has for their child. a parent watches their child through all phases of life and even if that child is embarrassed by their parents at an early stage in their development, the parent recognizes where their child is for having gone through similar phases but loves them just the same.... i apologize for dragging this out and i think i am on a stronger resolve now. you know i didn't know i'd love this person right away it grew overtime. i romanticized and obsessed. she was never feeling it the way i was even early in the relationship she wanted out. i was blind and refused to acknowledge her own needs. we quickly fell apart and i don't need to count either of our flaws but now just accept things at face value. she wanted out and i first refused then i became angry when it finally happened. i wanted to direct hate to this person but why? she never deserved hate. i can't hate her. i do love her. while she doesn't love me, if i love her and she wants me to leave her alone then i can respect that. it was very difficult and i made quite an ugly mess of things just to get to this point.... but i think about it like this now... there's still a hope... there's nothing glamorous in this for me, no comforting kisses or holding of each other but there's a chance to love this person still. even if she is embarrassed by our past, i don't have to publicize anything. i can keep this person in prayer and still feel love for them... and maybe one day i can be there for her. better and stronger. all i wanted was to be her pillar, her man. it became corrupt for so many reasons. it was my first real relationship. but i won't give up. i will love her still and try to take my ego, what i think i am owed out of this equation. it's just not that type of relationship. as you say i will have to be more observant of my own emotions down the road... but if she ever needed someone strong to be there for her, i hope to be there. to prove all i wanted was to be a part of her life. but for now, i let go... no more negative obsessions. no more grief. no care for who she's with either so as long as she's happy... and if i haven't screwed it up to bad, maybe she can trust to confide in me again one day down the road. maybe we can laugh together again.

friendships are tender and beautiful thing and eventually we'll get to an age where we aren't making any new one's but losing those around us....

peace

so here's to peace and love, renewed connections- comfort and trust... time to let go and wash away

If we are loving-which i know you are-there will always be new encounters with love along the way. As we grow and develop on the spiritual path there will come a time we are bewildered by the many expressions of love thru which God loves us in one incarnation after another as lovers and married partners...mothers fathers and friends. We will meet many of these associations if not in this life then in the afterlife...all to expand our understanding and embrace a larger view of love.

Hi Steve !
Exactly! :)

I hope to be a better man not just for my ex but anyone willing to share their heart with me. It isn’t always easy when we get caught up in the riddle and take/make things so personal because well- relationships are personal and the ego is easily bruised.

Cheers mate  ! ^_^

Yea no ego no pain and more ego more pain. Many times we have to be reminded just how much we still have that we have to get rid of. Most human beings use others for their own ends. But karma will always hunt us down. So i just go ahead and get mad at no one. Ive had some pretty hard knocks with relationships. It just astounds me how people take their hurt out on others. Then their pain only increases. I have had old friends and lovers come back though over the years. If you really pray for someone and give kindness instead of cruelty back you never know what to expect. People remember kindness but if they don't you can bet there will be those to take their place who do. I have so many kind friends Eric. Your one of them.God sent us together to rise above the noise of life. We are only becoming stronger friends because we transcended our differences and recognized that love is the greatest victory of all. If you truly love-- your heart will know you achieved victory by not caving in to defeat when spiritual deprivation is apparent in others. It is the best time to realize your own spiritual strength. Never be defeated by life. Carry that portable happiness with you to face all circumstances. Have a vice grip on God thru all the hell this world can give. Whenever you can-meditate--and you will see the world has less and less affect on you because it is all a crazy drama full of ups and downs.

The roller coaster ride is for kids. Enjoy the inner search and God's presence every moment of your life. Bumper cars are for young souls. Its quite an amusement park here. I was just at the fun house yesterday. I never thought i'd see the picture i saw in the mirror! I look stranger by the day. Guess i was looking in a real strange mirror! Hmmm and i payed for that attraction? Wow what people will do for entertainment! Be careful its quite a labrynth out there. You may have a hard time getting out buying a ticket for some of these attractions.

Thanks for this advice above Steve. I find I am being given the silent treatment on multiple fronts, but to those who give it, it's as if it's not happening and there's a "pretend to be something" or "nothing to see here" that I can not pretend when we are face to face. Work, interest and past. Instead I wish my past and my present well and try to respond from Love, even if that means extricating myself out of an uneasy situation. Why pretend? The only reason it would hurt is because we've opened our Hearts up and it is so easily dismissed. I think though on the Masters who have found God and are able to walk in complete realization, that they must be on a receiving end of abuse when others are putting their own barriers up to Gods Love. I will try and maintain the course, which is finding God and resting safely in his Love always. _^_ Peace friend.

I remember Paramahansa Yogananda saying that the thing that hurt Jesus the most was not being tortured on the cross but rather having all his friends leave him. Can you imagine anyone caring that much when they got the silent treatment? Love is beyond our comprehension and beyond our present capability to fathom. But just as I was saying these words an ant 🐜 was crawling on the couch frantically trying to get away from me. Little did he know I was trying to set it free! And finally got the critter on a piece of paper to liberate it outdoors. I think that love is this way. It manifests in small ways whenever we are presented with a chance to express it. We will be given more than our fair share to do that with so many young souls that cannot understand that we play a small part in Gods love in every little thing presented to us. Even in the small ignorance we see around us. In small ways we can fly.

Wow thanks Steve. And, as always, I am grateful for this place to share with you and gain perspective. Funny you too had a special message from the Ant today. I may share this totemic knowledge after this post. That breaks my Heart what Yogananda has said about Jesus. Wow...

Concerning my grievances earlier... A little clarification...

I think I was a little upset earlier because my Heart is ready to resolve the past with my ex but the reality has shown me that now is not that time and simultaneously my Heart was opening up to a Love interest with who I thought was my ideal Woman but reality again has shown that now is not our time either. In both instances a door opened up just recently only to be given the silent treatment from both parties all at the same time. My friend has pointed out to me that this timing is a message in learning not to be bothered by external circumstance. Given the current chapter I'm learning in the Gita, I do believe Spirit was speaking through him and this is the right message. I understand I have some Karma to work out and more importantly am learning how to treat others the way I wish to be treated while not being bothered by upsetting situations. I suppose it's right to say it's very much an Ego thing to think my, "ideal Woman" the way I imagine is out there for procreative and romantic purposes and an ego thing to try and put my last relationship in good standing when she isn't ready.

The silent treatment may be asking us to learn to find peace internally when things aren't going our way. Fortunately I have a wonderful group of friends like yourself to figure these things out. It's easy to talk about, a lot harder to practice when these affairs are more intimate . I see it's important to try, even when the mind is hard to still. Putting what you said about Jesus into perspective is very humbling. 

I may try and share some more GTWA later on too. Cheers. 

Hello Eric I think we have all encountered this in our lives but must recognize that if we attempt a couple times to communicate with those that have been close to us and still receive no response or the silent treatment we can safely surmise that the assessment of Amma above can apply. Sometimes we do have to apologize for our behaviors in the past but we also may find the behaviors of those we have interacted with was less than exemplary so they really have no excuse to give us the silent treatment. It takes a Master like Amma to decipher the often ambivalent moods of others towards us and their lack of response to what was once a significant relationship.

When we do have friends that do not treat us meanly or give us the silent treatment we have the capacity to establish more constructive relationships and recognize that many people are still so caught up in ego that they have little capacity to introspect. Introspection and self observation of behavior is an integral part of spiritual practice that many people have barely scraped the surface on—their ego being a huge impediment in this process. Eric you talked to me about our expectations and how they may affect us and relationships. We really can let go of old worn out relationships when we recognize that there are people blessing our lives who do practice kindness and not meanness. Although the desires being fulfilled with people who practice meanness must be also relinquished; we ultimately may find peace in letting go of their disturbing vibration to our spiritual environments.

Steve,
I had a thought today, after reading your reply, that progress isn't necessarily a linear experience. Those same disturbing vibrations are something we ourselves are capable of and at times, our attention to our practices and loftier goals become a thing of little to no interest. Whether the pull of Life is grabbing us and asking us to reassess our current model of perception or whether one might consider these moments as bouts of Spiritual Amnesia, we are also engrossed by the Ego and similarly not immediately aware of our sometimes regrettable course of action. I agree with your sentiments on the blessings to be found in particular relationships. I have discovered very kind friends that are responsive and make an effort to better themselves and I know because I desire the same that this is why I might be around such inspiring people. The truth is God is to be found in everyone, even the seemingly unkind- though they may not be presently aware of their own greatness, there are blessings for such interactions. I am happy to be able to let go because all we are holding on to at this point are thoughts and emotions, a playback of unresolved and unfulfilled desires and when we practice letting go of these attachments by the practice of directing our awareness in meditation- the liberating effect it has on helping us move on from the past, now severed, connections become recognizable as a beautiful aura of peace or understanding envelops us. If we can maintain our practices, we can forgive our transgressions and others and honor the God within with gratitude for the opening of our Hearts by the grace of a living Spirit. Murshid Inayat Khan speaks in the back of my mind and reminds me that sorrow is an immediate heart-opener, we accept the poison Life can offer as a blessing- Suffering leading ultimately to liberation. 
Jai Guru.

I think specifics work better than generalities Eric. There is scum out there and there are catfish that look for it. Bottom feeders are in abundance. (That’s why I am here with you spending time in Fellowship.) If it points back to us who have created this outcome then I have no disagreement in your assessment. But it helps to have someone point out this with examples otherwise most of us are still blind. That’s why I will tell a friend where and when they have been cold and given others the silence treatment. If their ego recoils and they are not willing to listen it’s time to move on. Some people are defensive and their egos are so sensitive they cannot listen without striking back like a 🐍 snake.

I also have found many people are like psychological antiques. They don’t and will not change. They remain locked into old forms of behavior and thought patterns that constantly resurface in different guises. At some point it helps to identify these symptoms so we can see we are dealing with what Amma called a form of mental illness. Sometimes we are obliged to recognize we have become stagnate in a toxic relationship. The tentacles of these relationships can reach down into our own consciousness and leave us paralyzed to recognize closing one door can open up other more expansive doors for ourselves. As Amma said at the beginning of this thread some people do practice meanness. It is just important to recognize that people do practice meanness when we wonder if we may be responsible for their behaviors.

I often come back to your words Eric and do find them to be true. I think though that there are times that we recognize we just are not like other people and their actions. The best example to me is your own personal experiences with people who have given you the silence treatment. You and I know who they are. I think the point Amma was trying to make is that sometimes we wonder about ourselves but we need to know that some people do practice meanness and that practice is no longer part of our behaviors. It is a good experience to know that ours is no longer a life of cruelty towards others which is indeed a mental illness. Sometimes we must recognize that others we meet have mental illness and some of our leaders have it also. It is often for us to recognize the darkness of evil presences. They really are around and can delay our spiritual progress if we are not very strong spiritually as Jesus was when he said “Get the behind me Satan.” We must guard our little spiritual accomplishments from such dark presences in our life.

Yes Eric I can relate. It is easier to see clearer in moments of spiritual inspiration. We all backslide and the linear path is not a smooth forward motion but often fraught with detours down pot whole roads. When the pull of life grabs us it can easily be a moment of spiritual amnesia. I don’t have the answers but I can come up with some problem solving questions. Perhaps that’s the best I can offer at this point in time.

Can severed relationships also be seen as an expression of individuality also? Some of us must explore our own unique paths apart from us as we do the same? Attraction and repulsion being seen as two sides to a coin. They eventually show their face on each side....Like dice or a coin thrown in the air depending on circumstances which side will land next throw up in the air.

This line you wrote rings true to me in moments of understanding and gratitude;

“I am happy to be able to let go because all we are holding on to at this point are thoughts and emotions, a playback of unresolved and unfulfilled desires and when we practice letting go of these attachments by the practice of directing our awareness in meditation- the liberating effect it has on helping us move on from the past, now severed, connections become recognizable as a beautiful aura of peace or understanding envelops us.~ Eric

We can feel love for those we have been with and appreciate their unique contributions to our life despite having to also appreciate the uniqueness of our current differences and separation. As we continue to pray for them we can develop our own compassion through our own struggles with ourselves and appreciate their unique journey and spiritual lessons which may be entirely different than our own at different times. We come to many crossroads in life where we momentarily stop and may see a rest area along the way where we enjoy the company of others we meet. But soon we are back on our personal journey again-that really is ours alone to travel. I imagine we are just fortunate to meet a stranger along the way-that will keep us company for a while-ultimately to leave at a time, of departure, unknown to us but inevitably to come in a future yet unknown.

Often as new doors open it becomes easier to relinquish the past when old doors close behind us.

Had another insight tonight; the judgement card came up in a tarot reading. I believe that what ever comes to us we must also evaluate as something we have created. So the silence treatment has something to do with judgement. Someone has judged us fairly or unfairly to not want to speak to us at all. We should also look at ourselves and try to assess where we may have judged others unfairly.

The interesting thing about this journey. I start noticing that even though I’ve had some bad karma— I find —because I let the past go— I have new friends that appear, old ones resurface and some staying around for good...those soul travelers. Everyday in every way I find my gratefulness for all experiences in my life increasing and looking back I’m happy with the people that came by. Sometimes I couldn’t make it better. Sometimes I couldn’t make it work. Sometimes I couldn’t make it better. We came high...not high enough. Sometimes I couldn’t make it better...caught in the riddle and the rhyme. All in all it’s lookin better though We came high.. which made us better. We came high...the highway we go.

Yea I once heard Paramahansa had said that was that the greatest pain Jesus experienced was not being crucified but that his friends left him.

So when I read what you said below I had to think to myself; being too sensitive is not all a ego thing.

“Why pretend? The only reason it would hurt is because we've opened our Hearts up and it is so easily dismissed”

Thanks for your insight Eric. In the next thread I want to elaborate on this connection.

I have  found that a lot of people give  us the silent treatment in their dealings with friends and people they have known. It is not such a bad thing to bring up here again when we wonder about ourselves when this treatment is given to us. It is important to recognize that some people are so wrapped up in their own ego that there is only one view; their own.

I am learning that when it happens, it's better to recognize the unspoken reality than to try and coerce a desired one. I am so grateful you bumped this thread. Please know what I am saying may not be relatable to your revelations- but that at a later time, it may make sense. There are three sides to every story?

Lately I've had to distance myself from a friend. I called him and left a message, explaining that I do not want to hang out or get together at this time. I told him I wish him well. I did this because I understand the silent treatment is not something I'v enjoyed- so if I am choosing to end a relationship, I will at least try to verbalize. I also realize though, sometimes that doesn't always work. And people want to argue about who'se view is the correct one. Rather than get into who is right or wrong, it's better to walk away- but to maintain the course with our own ideals. Practicing good charity and kindness.

I left this friendship because I felt like there was years of toxic behavior that did not align with my personal beliefs. I saw an alpha personality dominating my own and it was not something I enjoyed. I wish my friend peace, and I wish to live my life free from his influence.

Thanks Eric and I most likely will return here at a later date. I have witnessed people want to argue or may be on an anger or tantrum trajectory that is difficult to shake. It is best to just let them spout out or if you know they will most likely calm down …talk to them then. There are as many ways as there are people for the way relationships dissipate and our approach is, and response will always be, a factor for our spiritual development. If we didn’t ‘pass’ the test my experience is that it will reoccur in another guise. Some of us have specifically asked that our lives be guided by a Master. So this will be just another lesson in our development.

The alpha personality dominating factor you mention here may easily be a topic for another thread since it involves so many factors. Everyone has a reason of there own for giving others the silence treatment and personality conflicts are probably the most common of all of them. Although this is a factor I have realized in others not attempting to change themselves; they may often see you in a subordinate or inferior position and may never have the ability to see the relationship in any other way. Sometimes we must leave others in their own self circumscribed boxes if we no longer can fit their descriptions. It is important to recognize that people try to put us in their own groupings because of their own mindsets and prejudices.