Message #29483

[guest88]

I met a Buddhist monk once who told me I would meet my soul mate in this life but lose her if I couldn't control my anger issues. I'm not sure I understand the idea of soul-mate because any souls engaged with another have something to offer- we all belong to Spirit. Certainly I had anger issues and propelled our separation as a consequence. Meeting Amma, Gurunath and other spiritually anchored friends and teachers who have guided me to meditation and peace have helped me realize there's no sense in trying to control the things we can't control. I do continue to battle to guide my consciousness to the desired reality and make an effort to no longer allow those who are angry to rob me of my peace. Similarly, I try not to let those who are close to me upset me when they respond to situations differently than me. A lot has changed since our separation and I know our falling out has given me so much more after the fact, I don't know what the future holds but having been on the other side of your post- being the one who was at one point easily disturbed by those closest to me, I can say pain and separation is a healthy medicine sometimes.

Meditation, prayer and faith will guide one to better outcomes. Having to drive in a busy city regularly I've my fair share of distraught drivers but now I back off instead of engage- they have to carry on with the attitude until they find their own resolve, we don't have to let their anger jeopardize our well being or our driving abilities. It seems obvious but being in the thick of it and being able to think back on this example will help keep you aware when there's friction in a more intimate relationship.

The best advice I've been given is to create peace within, and to extend it to the household. If you live with others, strive to maintain peace in your house- this does not mean to control others... It means to be aware of your surroundings and yourself- you can control things happening in your life successfully with a right attitude.